Romance "Pass The Story!"

I didn't even know they made makeup for fish.

"Chris!" I yelled. "I thought I told you to take care of that!"

The lesbian tunafish was getting smaller and smaller in the water as the ship drew further away.

"I'm sorry! She just really wanted to be free," Chris said apologetically, wringing his hands. "I simply couldn't put her in the barrel with the others. I'd feel so guilty, letting her down like that."

I released a deep sigh.

"It's alright, Chris," I said, waving him off.

(No, she can fall in love, it's just that if she kisses anyone (on the mouth, specifically), they'll turn into a homosexual parrot. And yes—there is definitely something fowl around here XD)

'I wish I could be as that fish,' I thought as I watched her/him until I was too gar to see. Sadly, my makeup skills were trash and I didn't know a thing about the preciseness of the brushes or colors etc. I would always look like clown when I tried it.

Such is the cruelty of life…

(I literally can't do nice make up. I'm into costume makeup n' stuff so I tend to work alot with fake blood and skin, so trying to look pretty using makeup is a challenge for me! 😆)

(I don't wear makeup at all….I'd probably be terrible at putting it on if I tried XD)

(Yeah, I only use make up for zombie videos or something, because I'd botch it up so badly that it looks quite terrifying and realistic XD)

I don't even know where to start, who would know how to break a curse like mine?

'Wait,' she thought, remembering something from a long, long time ago. 'Theres that old vampire witch who lived somewhere in the Caribbean. Maybe she knows how to break the curse!'

"Eh. It's too far away and I don't have enough pork left," I muttered. The witch was notorious for demanding pork as payment for her services.

I mean seriously why pork, there are so many other things in the world and why did she choose meat? Witches are known to be very odd but she's a whole other level of crazy.

Anyways. I'd rather go see Ursula. With a sigh, I hopped up on the ship's rail and pitched forwards into the roiling waves.

At least she's open to discussion, you can't get more than two words with the other witch if you don't have her stupid pork.

Mmm… pork. Something welled within me- a sharp urge, a reminder. My hands twisted away from the rails, and I rushed to find a closet. Within it, held a box- oaken, deep and rich… and when I lifted the lid, I exposed the most sensational thing; a kermit the frog doll, in which I inserted my hand to control his movements.

"Oink oink," I shivered

(…what? XD)

(😂😂😂 ^^idk what or why that happened, but I love it! 👍❤️)

(I thought we already jumped into the ocean though? XD)

(Anything can happen!!! XD

I looked at the doll and watched as it turned into me. Then I realized something.
I have become kermit the frog.

(Wait, isn't this supposed to be a romance???)

(Man, I don't know anymore).

"Well you're definitely not my Ms. Piggy," the frog Muppet said. And then he drove off in a Lamborghini, leaving me to eat his dust.

My body quivered like a winter's leaf on the edge of a gnarled limb. The dust swelled, much like the warm drips of tears sliding down my cheeks. His figure was burned into my retinas- even when I closed my eyes, I could see him… his round chest, sensitive eyes… I could feel his breath, like the beating of my heart. The warmth of his embrace- once so tight, and assuring- left me, and I quivered upon the rocky floor. The smell of his skin- his cologne… the taste of his lips. Pain welled within my chest, putting pressure within the walls of my body. It's fingers prodding- sweeping over me, to find an escape. I finally let forth a wail- a shriek, a moan…

"Kermit," I shrieked to the emptiness, "I love you," I slumped down, and racked my body with sobs

(…what did I just read? XD)

However, Kermit had already left, so, as I waited for an answer, I simply laid there, quivering.

(Real romance, I swear)

I got up from the floor as tears streamed down my face. The curse always made sure I'd never have a true love. So I needed to break it soon if I ever wanted Kermit back.

I jumped back on to my ship (which mysteriously appeared) and started to belt out He's a Pirate as I sailed at top speed to Disney Land.

When I reached Disney Land, I stared at it in shock. Someone had burnt it down!

-And I knew who did it…
'Looks like Captain Hook is in for an unwanted visit.' I thought evilly.

I turned around, and stomped away. (As obviously Captain Hook-Hand was not here) The puddle of tears that cascaded my core soon boiled with rage, and the steam propelled me forwards, and onwards. My head was aswirl with anger, and my thoughts obscured my vision. Images- such as a mutilated Captain Hook, or a disemboweled Captain Hook- consumed me. That is, until I bumped into the concrete wall of the all-feared Pirate's Tavern. I knocked the doors in with my face.

"WHO HERE KNOWS THE WHEREABOUTS OF CAPTAIN HOOK?" I shrieked. The room was dark, and musty- filled to the brim of well-washed sea-goers. They stopped their mumbled conversations at the utterence of the name, 'Captain Hook'.

Each man shared the same concerned look, as each of them eyed eachother. A softer whisper was set afire, until a man stepped forward.

"Who wants to know?" he rasped, "And what's in it, for me?"

"Me, and nothing." I replied. I then patted him on the head, and he turned into a dog.
"ANYONE ELSE?!?!?" I shouted.