I need help on where this is to start
Susie is a demon who has a hard time controling herself around Theo, becauae she's in love with him, meanwhile she has to prepae to pledge herself to satan, and become an agent of chaos, wondering to chosse between her friends or family.
I paced in my room, my breath rattling in the back of my throat as I muddled over the strong mix of emotions bouncing around in my head, to slim corner to slim corner. My hands curled and uncurled around themselves as I tried to stop them returning up to my face, where they were previously gripping in anxiety. I was alone in my room, which quite helped a lot with my problems. If I were with someone in a state like this, they most definitely would have scoffed. One wouldn't be able to believe a Demoness like me would be so anxious about something like this. A Demon wasn't supposed to be torn over friends and family and who I should choose. I should be able to live on my own, right? But something wouldn't let me; I couldn't stay alone in this home in the long process of pledging myself to my king and an agent under his mighty, willful hand.
(I'm kind of rusty at starting stories, so sorry about that. I just thought this was super cool! Demoness is a term I use in my own Demon stories, basically it's a female Demon. I also capitalize Demon because they're a race in my story sooooo yeah!)
Oh my gosh! Your work is so beautifully written! I love it!
Awe thanks! I hope I could help start out for you!
The floor felt like it was falling out from under my feet. My heartbeat seemed to shake the moonlit walls. I squeezed my eyes shut as if a simple gesture would shatter my fate looming before me. My lungs felt as tiny as a speck of dust. Their were so many expectations for me but one name kept rattling around my head. Theo. How could I choose? I had one job. To continue the legacy of being an agent of chaos, but was that really me? Was I prepared to spend all eternity as a demoness? I thought I was. But Theo. Why! With all my thinking I thought the dawn of the pledge would have come. But no sun peaks out from beyond the horizon. Just more agonizing hours of patience and waiting. That’s all I ever seems to do. This storm rages inside of me, I wonder how in Hell has my world merged with Theo’s? Of all the angels! Why have OUR worlds collided. It’s getting harder to breath. It hurts deep inside. I gasp for air as a another wave of worry crashes over me. How will I survive?
I apologize for spelling mistakes! I’m only 13 and I might have flunked spelling and grammar…. please give feedback! I’m low on self confidence because my teacher said my writing was awful. Please tell me how I can improve! Love, Ellie Grace!
Btw this speaks to me!
Hey I was thinking of posting to this but first Ellie you really are a good writer so your teacher doesn't know what she's saying! It's well written, but the tone seems very panicked and fast. If this is what you were going for, great job! If not, something to improve <3
