Can someone critique her possibly? I need a second opinion because I tend to miss a lot of things on my own characters lol.
Thank you!
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Critique Her Please?
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First, I think she's really skinny for her age, unless that's what you were going for. The average weight for someone her age and height would be around 140 lb.
Second, give her something that she just can't stand. Something that no matter how hard she tries to contain herself, everytime, never ceasing, it pushes her of the edge
Third, I feel like she doesn't have a true struggle. I think that to make her a little bit more believable, you may have to give her something that she truly hates. But over all she is a very kind character, and she's really adorable. And there is nothing wrong with the way you made her, this is just my opinion. The fact that she doesn't have any grudges reminds me of one of my friends. He can't hold grudges no matter how much he dislikes the person, so the only grudge he has ever held was with blueberries (yes like the fruit) after he ate a bad one
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But as I said, you don't have to change anything about her, she's cute
Thank you for the tips! Her weight was just a guess because I was just being too lazy to look up the average weight for someone her age heh, i'll go ahead and fix that.
Since I literally made her yesterday, there are some things like the stuff you mentioned that are still under development. But when I do figure them out i'll be sure to put them down! Again, thanks for the critique!
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Of course! :) Happy to help
Could you do one of mine?
Sure!
Which one would you like me to do?
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So there might be a few parts where I stopped in the middle of the sentence, and some of it might not make sense but here she is Samara Alevi
First, what color of red is her hair? Auburn? Ginger? Honey? And the same goes with her eyes. What shade of green? Forest? Emerald? Sea Green? You only mentioned two flaws (i'm not really counting hating spiders as a flaw, thats just more of an oppinion), no one has only two flaws; give her more! Is she stubborn? Blunt? Lazy? Here is a list of flaws I use when creating my characters – https://writerswrite.co.za/123-ideas-for-character-flaws/ I suggest giving her at least 5-6 flaws! Why does she hate her family so much and why is she okay with her father? Does she have any other talents besides something that involves fighting? Does she like to dance? Sing? Cook? Ohhh Her best friend is also her enemy… and love interest? That sounds interesting. No backstory?? What?? Even if it is unknown to the readers and such, this site is for you to put down what you know, not for anyone else. So you should know what her backstory is, I suggest putting it down!
Anyways, I think she could be a pretty decent character if you just fix a few things! Good luck and hope I helped!
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Yeah, I know I have a lot to put in. (BTW, what exactally are 'mannerisms'? I don't quite understand that area) I personally have her whole self in my head, I'm just not sure what goes where or how to get it out sometimes. But her fear of spiders is basically paralyzing.
Thanks though, I thought that she was my most complete character LOL
Its fine, thats how I was when I made my first couple characters. A mannerism is a habitual gesture or way of speaking or behaving. So for example, 'Cracks knuckles when nervous' would be one!
No problem, again thanks for the tips on mine.
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Could I send you a couple others?
Sure, can't promise i'll get to them all today though.
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totally fine. I understand (I should be doing homework right now anyways XD)
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They are both on private x3 Please turn them off of private then i'll be able to look at them
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I thought they were on public, sorry. I've been having trouble turning it on and off. I don't know why
Its fine, but they are still on private. Do you know how to turn them off?
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Yeah, but when I click on it, it won't switch off
hmm Idk then lol
@Evelena that blueberry thing, mad my fluffing day XD
made not made -_-
made not mad
mad note made
I cannot….. -_- I give up XD
the vibe i'm feeling from this character is……."must protecc" she would be a perfect companion for my character Vahvuun(A Strong big ol softie that likes to knit)
Lol xD Pretty much.
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@Celestial-B I finally got the privacy setting to turn off so they should be public now
Kalen: Caelen Dressler
Ignatius: Azar Ignatius
Alright, i'll critique them as soon as I get the chance!
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Thanks!
Ah sorry, I totally lost this thread lol
Alright. First, Kalen
He is over weight by almost 70-ish pounds. I don't know if that is what you were going for, but the average weight of a 6'0 male is 165-200. If he has muscles, he would probably be in the higher part of that weight range. At least, based on my research, that is what I found. What color of brown is his hair exactly? Chocolate? Honey? Caramel? There are a lot of shades of brown! The same with his eyes, are they Jade? Forest Green? Mint? How many freckles does he have on his face? Is there a lot? Are they dark or lighter? His mannerisms aren't really mannerisms, more like his personality. A mannerism would be like 'plays with clothes when nervous' and 'bites lip when lying' or something like that. I think he should have more flaws. The two he has are okay, but go more in depth into his character! Expand on his big ego! Maybe he is stubborn. Perhaps he impatient. Arrogant possibly? Why does he hate the government? Is it the actual system itself or is it the people he hates? What made him feel that way. Hes got to have other talents besides being strong! And is he physically strong?
Emotionally strong? Explain! Maybe he is really good at cleaning. Maybe he can do math crazy fast. Idk lol, but people tend to have more then 1 talent or hobby even if they think they don't. On his personality type, tell me more about him there. Tell me about his little quirks, his likes and dislikes, his good sides and what he believes! That is what it is there for! What does the pendant look like that he wears and when did his father give it to him? Woahhhh there, hold your horses (pun intended lol). His background is tiny! It tells me nothing about him! The background is for you to really get to know your characters! Add everything you can think about him in there. Tell me about his parents, if he liked being a stable boy, did he have any other friends, did he have any pets, etc etc.
I'll do the other one later lol, this took a while to do