I'll try n get around to theses, sorry if I don't
I'll critique ur characters!
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Tell me how to make her better: Sequoia Khatri
Tell me how to make her better: Sequoia Khatri
Wow @othyrword! Koya's looks like a really cool character and is well developed. (I can ven see myself in her slightly). The only thing I would change/add to would be the mannerisms. What's Koya like when she's scared? Angry? Upset? Happy? Other than that she's really great!
(also sorry for the late reply)
Don't hold back also thank u
Holy shit! I think I may have a crush on Jean White! The arrogance you've put into this character would make him very interesting to read. (He lowkii reminds me of Sherlock Holmes,, drug abuse,, vengeance, etc.) I would like to see what he's like when he's angry/sad though as it would give the reader a more personal connection to him. Other than I really, really love him. If he were a real person I'd probably have a crush on him (and he'd break my heart.
P.S. Sorry for the late reply
P.P.S. I wonder what his love life is like?
Sis it says that I don't have permission.
Hmm she's very well developed for a side-character, I cant's think of anything you could improve that would be essential to the plotline. (love the janitor jacket btw)
sorry for the late reply
Caleb Sawyer Can you critique my group leader?
Don't hold back also thank u
Holy shit! I think I may have a crush on Jean White! The arrogance you've put into this character would make him very interesting to read. (He lowkii reminds me of Sherlock Holmes,, drug abuse,, vengeance, etc.) I would like to see what he's like when he's angry/sad though as it would give the reader a more personal connection to him. Other than I really, really love him. If he were a real person I'd probably have a crush on him (and he'd break my heart.
P.S. Sorry for the late reply
P.P.S. I wonder what his love life is like?
Wow thank you! I have since discussed and determined his emotional vulnerabilities and other aspects about him but have neglected to update his profile, so I'll definitely get to that. Additionally, his love life is actually almost non-existent. He attempted to date one girl in high school but neither of them felt an emotional connection with each other.
(P.S. My friend and I are attempting to start a community regarding him and his friend, so if you're interested let me know ;D)
Don't hold back also thank u
Holy shit! I think I may have a crush on Jean White! The arrogance you've put into this character would make him very interesting to read. (He lowkii reminds me of Sherlock Holmes,, drug abuse,, vengeance, etc.) I would like to see what he's like when he's angry/sad though as it would give the reader a more personal connection to him. Other than I really, really love him. If he were a real person I'd probably have a crush on him (and he'd break my heart.
P.S. Sorry for the late reply
P.P.S. I wonder what his love life is like?
Wow thank you! I have since discussed and determined his emotional vulnerabilities and other aspects about him but have neglected to update his profile, so I'll definitely get to that. Additionally, his love life is actually almost non-existent. He attempted to date one girl in high school but neither of them felt an emotional connection with each other.
(P.S. My friend and I are attempting to start a community regarding him and his friend, so if you're interested let me know ;D)
Definitely would love to contact you and ur friend to start a community,, my instagram is: @merry_jacquemas at the moment but it often changes, I look forward to working with you and you should be very proud of your character!
Caleb Sawyer Can you critique my group leader?
wow Caleb is a very well developed character. However it is unrealistic that a person has such set mannerisms, it would be better (in my personal opinion) to make these more vague in order for the reader to develop a more persona connection with him. (by this I mean add othr less significant ticks perhaps). Also if he's is 6ft then it is unlikely (with his body type) that he only weighs 65kg. here is a link to a sight i use for proportions for my characters (be sure to take into account his level of muscle tone also).
https://fitnessvigil.com/proper-weight-for-height-age
Thx the weight thing has been annoying I just end up putting in random ones.
That's all good, have fun character-building!