this is far from done but…Invalid Character
If you don't have anything to do, you can look at one of my characters. I finished her some time ago but i am open for some critique Osiria Rosewell
@aloe vera i need to say this: i love Jean and i would totally read your story. Everything sounds so good and he is such an interesting character just woooow i love it!
Okay @PiperAnneli
Demelzia looks cool. I think overall she needs more details but that's kinda duh since you're still working on her. For someone of her height and age, she should be around 120 pounds but you said she's light for her age so it would be a little below that. Also though if she's lightly muscled, curvy, and strong it doesn't make sense for her to be light for her age. But maybe there's a reason for that, idk. Her mannerisms look good I might add a few more like what she does when she's nervous, etc. (I know what she does to calm herself down which is cool that you added it, just one's for when she's nervous too might be good). I might add a little more under flaws and-or elaborate on the pride thing. Why is this her flaw, what does it keep her from doing, etc. What specifically makes her good at technology/what kind of technology is she good at. How does that fit into the universe the story is in? I would add more to the personality part too. From the thing about her eye, I feel like you can add a bit more to your background. Just a little more detail/a few more events that make her who she is today.
I think that's all I got for her. Overall she looks like a cool, strong character who just needs a bit more detail. But you are definitely on the right track!
@aloe vera i need to say this: i love Jean and i would totally read your story. Everything sounds so good and he is such an interesting character just woooow i love it!
Wow thanks my friend and i are way too invested in his story and so i'm glad we're not just obsessing over our own characters for no reason and they actually are interesting coOL COOL
sssshhhhhh stop outing us damnit @ aloe
Could you critique my character Rie? Here's the link; Rie Katayama
Sorryyyyy this took so longggggg
I had a hard time finding critique for Osiria cause she's a really well-rounded character so here goes
I'm a little confused why she would join an organization that fights against the gov. if she doesn't care about politics. I'm guessing that's explained in the story but I just wanted to point it out
I would add more motivations in a way that contributes to the plot. Basically, what does she want in the story? What is her purpose as a character?
Other than that I really can't find anything else I'm sorry. She's a really good character though. Her lying makes sense, her personality matches her naivety, I really like her.
ey boi can ya look at this character for me? Louis Lelièvre
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
do you think you could critique him?
if not that's totally fine too have a great day!
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Can you critique my girl please????
that's a big mood right there. guess what i'm doing right now? critiquing characters. guess what i should be doing? homework. i'm the queen of procrastination if you want to join my kingdom
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I PUT THE 'PRO' IN 'PROCRASTINATION"!!!!!
@Moxie you can be the duke/duchess. i am impressed by your procrastination ability.
also jynandor do you want to join
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Yas I'll be the Prince of Denmark despite not being Danish, royalty, or male.
lol yesss
i will make a forum soon
but of course, your grace