I am pretty new to critiquing characters and I would like to do yours to help you and learn for myself.
It would be a pleaure to critique your creations!
(Yes,I will be gentle, specify if I should be more harsh)
I will critique your charachter! [CLOSED]
@Syguy20132 Here's what I could find:
- How is he slender and muscular at the same time? Is he only slightly muscular or is he less slender (Then maybe you should change it to skinny)
- Are the red tips in his hair also part of his natural hair colour.
- "Smiles if he sees something he enjoys" that's pretty normal behavior, would this be abnormal for him fr some reason? If so please specify.
- Reading stands out a bit from his other interests. Is there a reason for him being interested in reading despite having such a violent nature?
- In what way does he use himself as a weapon? Is he good at fist fighting or does he have magic? Anything else?
- How did he get the scars?
- He's mentioned as an anti-hero, but if his only motivations are his natural drive towards chaos then where are there good features? Does he not have any other motivations for doing other things?
@Summer here you go:
- Good pain taker is propably better defined as "Has high pain tolerance"
- She "Likes the feeling of pain" but has never thought about self harming, so she decides to get into public fights so she can hurt instead? Maybe she would do a mixture, but never having considered the harm is illogical.
- A cheetah isn't really a common pet, how come that's what she chose? And how did she get it?
- Exactly what happened for the scars to form?
- Does she usually eat a lot or is it just something she CAN do?
- Where was her mom during her entire life?
thanks!
@Syguy20132 Here's what I could find:
- How is he slender and muscular at the same time? Is he only slightly muscular or is he less slender (Then maybe you should change it to skinny)
- Are the red tips in his hair also part of his natural hair colour.
- "Smiles if he sees something he enjoys" that's pretty normal behavior, would this be abnormal for him fr some reason? If so please specify.
- Reading stands out a bit from his other interests. Is there a reason for him being interested in reading despite having such a violent nature?
- In what way does he use himself as a weapon? Is he good at fist fighting or does he have magic? Anything else?
- How did he get the scars?
- He's mentioned as an anti-hero, but if his only motivations are his natural drive towards chaos then where are there good features? Does he not have any other motivations for doing other things?
- He's slightly muscular.
- Yep, the red tips are natural as well.
- I'm actually still working on a list of his mannerisms….
- Hmmm. I guess I'd have to say that he's just interested in seeing what humans can come up with, despite seeing them as lesser beings.
- He uses telekinesis, pyrokinesis, electrokinesis, and physical fighting. Yep, swords and basically anything else that he could use as weapon.
- That is to be determined. Probably from a fight or something.
- His character will eventually evolve into an anti-hero.
To be honest, I actually rarely ever plan out my characters. I just get my idea for a story, do some basic character creating (naming them and coming up with how they look), start writing, and have them develop whilst I'm writing. Not really what most writers would recommend, but it works for me. :-)
To be honest, I actually rarely ever plan out my characters. I just get my idea for a story, do some basic character creating (naming them and coming up with how they look), start writing, and have them develop whilst I'm writing. Not really what most writers would recommend, but it works for me. :-)
I've tried that too,it works if you're doing plot based. Charachter based relies on fleshing them out first,I do both so it depends on the project.
group
@silver sword
- "When he is tested" In what way and to what level?
- Trust everyone is a flaw, but seeing the good in others I wouldn't say is a flaw
- Growing up a royal would not neccecarily make someone polite, maybe wellmannered, but the politeness must come from somewhere else primarily.
- Does he have a personal staff or is it more like swords were you can use either one?
- I can't read the backround,it's going around behind the section bar.
I would like to end with saying this is the first positive and adoring royalty, especially a boy, that I've seen in a long while and I like it!
Hellu, mind taking a look at my boi? qwq
Jacqueline Ash Hey can you check out my main buddy cops Richter
@Kohaku
- Saying he is a freak due to double personality might be a bit problematic. Maybe change the wording a bit?
- "Former prince" What does he do now?
- He would be a pretty sad and shut down perso based on backstory, so why are all his mannerism and tendencies so happy?
I can't find much more, it's pretty well put together logic.
Thx thx for the critique, i'll fix it asap o3o
@Caboose Jacqueline:
I really like lullaby, like the whole history and everythng. Just wanted to say that.
- "Taps her fingers" On her face,on her furniture or together?
2."Throw it like an axe" You usually don't throw axes, maybe just "Throw it"
3."Priests don't do it anymore" Why?
4."Only on special occasions" and "Whenever she can" Kind of clashes, try to make up your mind on when she uses lullaby.
5.Where did she find lullaby for it to be the only item she was holding?
5: So with the scene where she is holding lullaby I'm writing it like a dream sequence so technicalities like how shit got so crazy it got to her sitting in the corner with an axe shotgun are sort of blurry for her. So I'm going to write it exactly how she remembers it. She only remembers that one part vividly everything else is a complete blur.
I've written it and it's actually sort of the intro I'll just show you what I mean.
The young girl sat in the living room corner of the cabin. The fireplace filled with dying but warm flames and the ashes of wooden logs blowing in the air with the cool breeze from the chimney. Blood stained the wooden floors and the white and green carpet. The young girl could smell the iron from it all around her. She was tired and scared but she couldn’t close her eyes or take them away from the horror in front of her. The only comfort she had in her hands an old Remington 870.
She had practically molded the pistol grip to her hand shape. The axe blade on the end of the barrel dripped more wine-coloured blood to the floor. Her right hand trembled and blood trickled down from a cut she didn’t notice or really mind she was covered in it. Her body was giving in, her hands shaking from squeezing the gun too tightly. Her white skin was hidden by the crimson liquid, she made no face, inside she was terrified, heartbroken and mourning but her body froze there was nothing she could do.
Her eyes fixated on the only thing that mattered in the room right now. Two splayed out bodies covered in the same blood on the blade and the floor. A man and a woman with large grotesque holes in their torsos.
A sound came back to her as she gradually returned her focus to the outside world but all she would hear for the next ten minutes is “drip, drip, drip, drip.”
Hi, may I drop off one of mine? Danny Bell I'd like to flesh him out a bit more, he's a bit of a stereotype as it currently stands. I'd appreciate harshness, I promise I can take it :-)
@Kaloobia
1."Sits weird in chairs" Specify a bit more please.
- If he never leaves his house and is so anti-social then how did he find a significant other?
- When did he learn to make remixes and how is it relevant? (It's a bit out of nowhere)
- How come such a sarcastic and sassy person is so bad at arguing?
- Is Cameron's sister just cool with him dating him now?
- Is Cameron just okay with his horrible life style? Why isn't he doing more to help him get on track?
- "Was always overshadowed by his sister" HOW IS THERE NO RIVALERY HERE
- How did he start to get popular if he refuses to get involved in relevant things? Did he from the beginning? Or dd he play relevant games?
- His haircut is a bit vauge.
- How long has he been a youtuber?
- Actually, there's no backround field, you should make something for that.
- Is his theme song his outro music? I just think it would be neato.
Idk he just seems to have two different personalities that don't mesh that well, but I don't know the full story
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@CopperQueen Thank you for the review! I have fixed all of the problems besides the background, which I have here-
Chase is the son of the former King and current Queen of the Light Kingdom. They loved their son with all of their hearts and promised to always care for him. When Chase was a small child he showed great interest in healing magic, and they supported him fully.
It was when Chase was nine, however, when things fell apart. The King fell deathly ill. The healers tried everything in their power, but nothing could be done to save him. After his death there were four days of mourning in his honor. The Queens's heart grew cold and distant soon after.
The country demanded a new leader in replacement of the King. A noble by the name of Payton Allen won over the frozen heart of the Queen. After their marriage, Payton forced Chase to practice fighting. He still found ways to continue his practice of healing and slowly became a better and better Cleric.
By the time Chase turned seventeen there were rumors of anarchy in the Dark Kingdom, and Chase, still a minor Cleric, was determined to help.
You skipped mine….
@Syguy oops so sorry T-T
I'll get to you next then hehe
Oof thank you so much!!! That's a lot of stuff to work on and flesh out, I'm really happy and excited haha :-) I really appreciate it, I definitely see the lack of correlation between his "2 personalities" and I'll be sure to create more links and make him him more whole and synchronized. Thanks again for your help! ^^
@Syguy20132
I'm sorry this took so long for me to critique him, I was really busy around christmas and new years. Anyways, here you go:
- Why is he nicknamed sharp?
- How did he recieve his ?"gift"
- When and how did he get the scars?
- "Those he sees as friends" Maybe jus "his friends"
- What determines what happens when you see his eyes? Is it just random wich one you get?
- How and by who was he cursed?
- Maybe make more backstory, it's really short.
Ooh yay open again! :-) I hope you don't me being back so soon: Felipe Alberto Moreno This guy is a little more developed than the last one, at least I hope so haha. Thanks in advance and also take your time, chill, drink some tea with brandy idk. Enjoy your New Years
I would really appreciate it if you could critique my sci-fi race.
Hi I'd appreciate a critique on my characters, either Ceri Ceri Archer or Pun (Less developed) Pundrion Tandriss
I'd just like to point out that I have no idea what I'm doing.