I will NOT critique, but I will give advice! (Characters, worlds, PLOTS ESPECIALLY, and other stuff. Have a question? Ask))

Title says all! ONLY THING!!!!!!
I will only be doing 3 at a time! So pay attention! If you post and I'm not open, YOU WILL BE IGNORED!

If you see three people under this, I AM CLOSED. Wait until I post this again
SLOTS: 3

Ooh, she looks awesome! : D
Really the only advice I have is about her eye and her conditions. I get not wanting to fill out the background area, but if you don't you should include details in different sections.
Like, just a simple explanation of what happened to her eye in the identifying marks area would already clear many things up, and same with the stuff in conditions. You could even just say "due to a traumatic incident at (age), she has…" That helps solidify her timeline a little more too.
I think you should definitely spend time filling her out, she seems like a really cool start of a character! If you ever do, please send her to me, I'd love to learn more about her!
I hope this gave you some ideas!

I was wondering if you had any advice for my character Quin. I feel like I haven't properly communicated his personality, to be honest. He's a bit contradictory at points, because he talks big and comes off as the kind of person who will follow through with what he says 100%, but he can just as easily flake if he finds himself in danger or something, which can be hard to portray. That, in addition to how his magnetic pull (due to being half-siren) makes it so that people don't usually see his faults. If you wouldn't mind looking him over and seeing if there are other things I failed to catch, or spot something I could elaborate on, I'd really appreciate it! His page is here: Quincey Jay Martin

Thank you in advance! <3

Hey! Sorry this is taking me so long, I should have it done and posted tomorrow! Thank for being patient!

Ahh, so sorry, I got really busy. BUT! Here we are, and I hope I went into enough detail to make up for this late reply :)

So, Quincey is a really interesting character, I can tell you've been spending a lot of time on him. I really don't find him unpleasantly contradictory, I think the dissonance between his big talk and cowardly nature are actually really good, that's a great way to add potential conflict into a story, and make his character seem more 3-D
I think you could elaborate a bit more on some of his mannerisms, those small habits tend to come with backstory, and I'd be especially interested to see why he walks faster alone. A good test for mannerisms is to pretend they're some celebrity you know on TV getting interviewed, and picture how natural it would look for them to b engaging in those mannerisms.
For example, when I was thinking about the tearing paper one, I was picturing Tyler Joseph from Twenty-One Pilots, and while they may not be the same, I could easily picture that happening, which validated that mannerism to me. I hope that made sense! xD
I like his motivation lol, as a side note.
I think you should really think about what prejudices he might have. Everyone has them, even if they're really small. I know that one can be hard to think off, but I'd recommend you really try ^^
All in all, he's a good character! I would just spend a little more time working on some of the details, otherwise you're doing awesome! I'd be interested to read a book with him as a main or side :)

Hello, I was wondering if you could give me any advice you have on how to make my character more likable or relatable. Her name is Levina Malashi and she is one of the main protagonists for my story. Here is the link: Levina Annabelle Malashi If you have any questions please ask, I sometimes forget to include important details because I already have them memorized. I'd be open to any advice you can offer and I'd love to ask about some of my other characters in the future!

Sure thing! I'll look at her tonight and try to get it up tomorrow! :)

Could you make her public, please? ^^ I can't see her otherwise :)

Sorry about that! Her character should be public now.

Okay! Thanks! I'll look her over! :D

Ahh, so sorry, I got really busy. BUT! Here we are, and I hope I went into enough detail to make up for this late reply :)

It's no problem! I've been really off and on as of late, so I'd have no place in getting impatient, anyways lol.

So, Quincey is a really interesting character, I can tell you've been spending a lot of time on him. I really don't find him unpleasantly contradictory, I think the dissonance between his big talk and cowardly nature are actually really good, that's a great way to add potential conflict into a story, and make his character seem more 3-D

Thank you for the positivity! The conflict thing was definitely on my mind when I first created him, so I was happy to see you noticed.

I think you could elaborate a bit more on some of his mannerisms, those small habits tend to come with backstory, and I'd be especially interested to see why he walks faster alone. A good test for mannerisms is to pretend they're some celebrity you know on TV getting interviewed, and picture how natural it would look for them to b engaging in those mannerisms.

Makes sense, and that's a really solid writing tip? Like, that should be painted on a billboard for all writers struggling with character development, period.

For example, when I was thinking about the tearing paper one, I was picturing Tyler Joseph from Twenty-One Pilots, and while they may not be the same, I could easily picture that happening, which validated that mannerism to me. I hope that made sense! xD

I,,, definitely understand what you're saying with that example. As an avid Twenty One Pilots fan, I honestly wasn't expecting such a casual reference to Tyler, but you have a point! Although I wasn't picturing him when I gave Quincey that mannerism, they do the same thing lol.

I like his motivation lol, as a side note.

Thanks lmao—I also used him in a d&d campaign, so I figured, what the hell? He'll be chaotic good. And then it stuck!

I think you should really think about what prejudices he might have. Everyone has them, even if they're really small. I know that one can be hard to think off, but I'd recommend you really try ^^

I will definitely take that advice. I feel like, at that point I'd been filling out Quincey's page for around half and hour, so I kinda just marked it as 'none' when, now that I think about it, he definitely has prejudices. Especially towards pureblood sirens (in case you were curious!).

All in all, he's a good character! I would just spend a little more time working on some of the details, otherwise you're doing awesome! I'd be interested to read a book with him as a main or side :)

I think I said this already, but seriously, thank you. Your advice, from what I've seen with mine and the other critique you did, balances in a way that doesn't offend anyone while still being honest and helpful! Which, to reiterate, is just another way of me saying that it was a huge help and I really appreciate you.

I'm so glad I was helpful!! :D Thanks so much for the feedback on my feedback lol xDD It really means a lot to me that I could help so much <3 And do it in a nice way that wasn't too harsh! Thanks so much for dropping by, feel free to swing around again of you get anymore characters <3 r, if you work on him more, i'd be happy to take another look! ^^ Just let me know :)

OKAY! I actually lost this thread, so @stuckythestan, I'm so sorry this took forever, I was trying to find it, and just—no.
But I finally did again xDD And here's your advice!

I'll say right off the bat, you give me a VERY vivid image of what she looks like, so awesome job there!
She seems like a forced kind of shallow, the type of person who is happy and friendly, while really they're more cynical and condescending. I like that in a character. And if I'm right, and not totally off the mark there, make sure you emphasise this and make it part of your plot and character development!
In that same vein, her flaw of being naive seems sort of out of place. I haven't seen anything that really shows me that trait in any of her other notes. Her prejudices follow the same contradictory path, it's like you're telling me about two different characters.
You should try to fill out her religious/political views a little more! Even if they're not important to the story, it's just good stuff to know, and you don't even have to decide what she is, you could just talk about her opinions on various religions and such :)
She has a really, really cool original power, well done <3
Over all, you have an awesome character ehre, and I really enjoyed reading her back-story and such <3 Well done!
I hope I helped at least a little :)

I think you are open and I am so sorry if you are not but her is my character. Got any advice?

Hi! Yes, I'm open sorry, I should have posed the thing.
I'll take a look at them asap! ^^

If you see three people under this, I AM CLOSED. Wait until I post this again
SLOTS: 2

I think you are open and I am so sorry if you are not but her is my character. Got any advice?

OKAY!
Long time later, but here we are!

I really like this character and how you set up her sheet. Overall, it's really orderly, and she makes a lot of sense. You did a really good job with her!
I will say, one of the inconsistencies I noticed her prejudice and her motivation seem to conflict. I don't think that you have to change either of them, but I do think you should explain a little more how these two things oppose and work together in her personality. I can see it working into her personality beautifully, especially with her pride flaw, but make sure you're explaining how they work together!
Also, I don't know very much bout your world, but I will say that her talents are a bit all over the place. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but I could advise you find a set that are similar in type, or work on limitations of her current powers that contain them all to the same area. Fire, it seems to be, but whatever you see fit. Otherwise, the character can seem op
The saving grace here though, is that if in your world, everybody has multiple unrelated powers, you won't have to change anything. It's just if people usually have their 'type' of power, then you should think about consolidating.

I hope this helped!

Thank you for your advice ^^. Yeah I can see how the motivations and prejudices can be conflicting but I will work on that. And yes in my world humans with dóra have multiple abilities manifesting between the ages 20 to 25. Theses abilities are based on their dóra marks which are somewhere on their bodies since their birth. A lot of the marks represent an element like Sereya's is silver. So I tried to have the abilities reflect the reactions of silver (I also put theses in talents as I had nowhere else to put them). So there is a reason for all the abilities I chose. Transparency for when silver can come in transparent forms, its a great conductor so its not effected by heat (or fire in this case) and electricity, and finally silver in some forms can be toxic which attack the lower organs. I think maybe, if I can find away, to add a field for weaknesses as I do have some for her. But thank you again for the advice and I will put it to good use.

Ahh, that makes a lot of sense about how her powers tie together! You should add that to your description somewhere :)
That's actually really cool I like that a lot ^^ I'm glad I could help!

how do I improve on this character so she seems real?

how do I improve on this character so she seems real?

I will get to that as soon as I can! I'm really busy with two jobs plus school plus counselling, plus caring for a rescue dog, but I won't forget about you!

(following so I can learn!)

(Yay, welcome aboard! ;D I hope my ramblings can be of some use xDD)

@Divine-Irish-Potato
Okay, here you go!

I'll go through section by section, so you can get a comprehensive map ^^

Overview
I would recommend you take the time to explain some of her nicknames, just backstory, who calls her what, etc. This will help not only with backstory, but help add depth and realism!
I'll admit I'm a little confused about the description field, as that should be covered in her looks, so it doesn't really seem necessary to me. If it is, make sure you really go into detail, and explain!
Otherwise looks good here!

Story
Okay, I'm just confused here. "Flat" doesn't tell me much, go into detail describing what that means, and her journey, her emotions and thought process.

Looks
Her weight, height, build and body type all are fine, but they don't really match up super well. For example, 140 is a little on the light side for someone who's 6 foot, but not unreasonable. But then you describe her as butch, which is against her being lean and an hourglass figure. It creates a very confusing mental image of her. I picture butch as noticable buff, and lean as thin and wiry. If she is butch, then 140 is definitely way too light! The healthy BMI range for a 6 foot tall woman is 136.4 - 184.3 lbs. While that's a rough range, I would keep it in consideration.
Very cool detail with the six fingers, I like that a lot.

Outfit
All looks good here! Seems like a nice outfit :)

Health
This will need a lot more detail. Why is she nihilistic? Is that a mental health issue at all, or does it belong in nature? And for physical, you've already established th she's athletic, so you're going to want to describe her actual health. How often does she get sick? What is she most likely to come down with? Is she immune to illness, or? This is a great section to explore this kinda stuff, and you can do the same in her mental area.

Social
My big question: Why does an ancient Horsewoman who's existed long before humans created politics have a political opinion? Is she that involved with humans? Or is she detached? If she really cares about humans and the path they are taking, then I'd believe she might get involved in politics, but that also limits her to only America or a few other countries, and if she's a reaper for the world, she would likely have a much more expanded political belief system. Please go into A LOT of detail about that!
Another big question: Why does she have no religion? You mention that she takes the souls to God, but which God then? Are they all the same in your story? Or are you referring to the Christian God? Again, please explain a lot more about this!
Again same thing with the languages. Why only one? If she was involved with earth at all before the modern day, she would at least know some ancient languages. And again if she travels the world, she would likely be fluent in most, if not all languages. Unless there's other death reapers out there? Explain this as well.

Nature
This area is fine, just over simplified and a little 'typed.' INTJ is okay, but it doesn't tell me a whole ton actually about ehr since even those types are individuals and have differences. My basic rule is that you should have at LEAST 300 words in the personality section, in order for people to get a good idea what they're dealing with. With her conditions, same thing. At least 200 words explaining why they have what they have. If you just say she's nihilistic, that gives me no proof, and readers hate taking your word for anything. Make it believable by adding backstory, energy, experiences, events.
Also, try experimenting around with her hobbies. Those are all very physical, active things, what does she do when she's relaxing? Choose some activities that might not immediately seem to fit her and work on explaining why they do, and you'll get a whole new dimension added to her.
Like, as an example, maybe she really likes knitting. Then you'd have to figure out why she does, and you might open up a whole new part to her character.
Really, just keep asking yourself "Why" to everything you write down, and then answer that as detailed as you can. The more words you have in each section, the better.

History
What does "Very high" education level look like for a non-human? Did she go to human college? Some form of school for beings like herself? Remember, she's not human, you have to keep treating her with all her experiences in mind. Where would she get this education? Why? What did she learn? Etc.
"She has six fingers on each hand instead of the normal five. This is why death is unnatural to humans, but not to anything else living." This doesn't make a lot of sense to me. What about having six fingers is the thing that makes humans so freaked out about death? Or am I reading this wrong? Explain further.
I would recommend a minimum of 300-400 words for the background, and for her I would make it higher, since she's so old. Outline important events in her past, explain their effect on her, and what they mean for the story. For example, why is Scarlet Reaper, her daughter, (or son?) is her enemy?
Again you referencing her living in Hell sort of hints that she might belong to the Christianity religion. Make sure you explain this!

Powers
When you say "Very powerful" that doesn't give me any clear picture of what you mean. Very powerful compared to what? Make it relatable to something humans know about, or assign a number system, like from 1-100 and give her power a number!

Stats
These I would say the same as powers. "Very High" and "Extreme" tell me not too much. Also, she's very unbalanced here. here are her weaknesses? Characters that are bad or mediocre at some things are more interesting than those who are good at everything. Go into more detail as well!

General Advice

• I would really just say to add more to every section except ones like eye color that don't need it. ANything that's not physically descriptive, you can add to. Try to write at least 10 words per field, and keep asking yourself: "Why?" "How?" etc. If you can come up with another question, ask it. Currently, the only thing stopping her from being completely believable is the lack of detail.
• Remember she's not human, write her as such. She won't have the same standards, thought process, and views/opinions as a human would
• She's a little 2D currently. All her traits line up towards one direction, make sure to add some variety, even if it seems counter intuitive. For example, I myself am both endlessly patient and at the same time, short tempered. Those don't match up, but hey that's how I am. It's contextual, situational, and depends on the people I'm talking to. This kind of stuff is what adds depth.
• You also state that she's the original goth a lot. Once is enough, and repeating it makes her seem one dimensional and flat. Add more to her! Goths have lives outside their goth nature. What else is she about? Give her more.

I hope this helped! Feel free to ask questions or bring her back when you update her if you want! Over al, you've got a lot of potential here!

@Divine-Irish-Potato
Okay, here you go!

I'll go through section by section, so you can get a comprehensive map ^^

Overview
I would recommend you take the time to explain some of her nicknames, just backstory, who calls her what, etc. This will help not only with backstory, but help add depth and realism!
I'll admit I'm a little confused about the description field, as that should be covered in her looks, so it doesn't really seem necessary to me. If it is, make sure you really go into detail, and explain!
Otherwise looks good here!

Story
Okay, I'm just confused here. "Flat" doesn't tell me much, go into detail describing what that means, and her journey, her emotions and thought process.

Looks
Her weight, height, build and body type all are fine, but they don't really match up super well. For example, 140 is a little on the light side for someone who's 6 foot, but not unreasonable. But then you describe her as butch, which is against her being lean and an hourglass figure. It creates a very confusing mental image of her. I picture butch as noticable buff, and lean as thin and wiry. If she is butch, then 140 is definitely way too light! The healthy BMI range for a 6 foot tall woman is 136.4 - 184.3 lbs. While that's a rough range, I would keep it in consideration.
Very cool detail with the six fingers, I like that a lot.

Outfit
All looks good here! Seems like a nice outfit :)

Health
This will need a lot more detail. Why is she nihilistic? Is that a mental health issue at all, or does it belong in nature? And for physical, you've already established th she's athletic, so you're going to want to describe her actual health. How often does she get sick? What is she most likely to come down with? Is she immune to illness, or? This is a great section to explore this kinda stuff, and you can do the same in her mental area.

Social
My big question: Why does an ancient Horsewoman who's existed long before humans created politics have a political opinion? Is she that involved with humans? Or is she detached? If she really cares about humans and the path they are taking, then I'd believe she might get involved in politics, but that also limits her to only America or a few other countries, and if she's a reaper for the world, she would likely have a much more expanded political belief system. Please go into A LOT of detail about that!
Another big question: Why does she have no religion? You mention that she takes the souls to God, but which God then? Are they all the same in your story? Or are you referring to the Christian God? Again, please explain a lot more about this!
Again same thing with the languages. Why only one? If she was involved with earth at all before the modern day, she would at least know some ancient languages. And again if she travels the world, she would likely be fluent in most, if not all languages. Unless there's other death reapers out there? Explain this as well.

Nature
This area is fine, just over simplified and a little 'typed.' INTJ is okay, but it doesn't tell me a whole ton actually about ehr since even those types are individuals and have differences. My basic rule is that you should have at LEAST 300 words in the personality section, in order for people to get a good idea what they're dealing with. With her conditions, same thing. At least 200 words explaining why they have what they have. If you just say she's nihilistic, that gives me no proof, and readers hate taking your word for anything. Make it believable by adding backstory, energy, experiences, events.
Also, try experimenting around with her hobbies. Those are all very physical, active things, what does she do when she's relaxing? Choose some activities that might not immediately seem to fit her and work on explaining why they do, and you'll get a whole new dimension added to her.
Like, as an example, maybe she really likes knitting. Then you'd have to figure out why she does, and you might open up a whole new part to her character.
Really, just keep asking yourself "Why" to everything you write down, and then answer that as detailed as you can. The more words you have in each section, the better.

History
What does "Very high" education level look like for a non-human? Did she go to human college? Some form of school for beings like herself? Remember, she's not human, you have to keep treating her with all her experiences in mind. Where would she get this education? Why? What did she learn? Etc.
"She has six fingers on each hand instead of the normal five. This is why death is unnatural to humans, but not to anything else living." This doesn't make a lot of sense to me. What about having six fingers is the thing that makes humans so freaked out about death? Or am I reading this wrong? Explain further.
I would recommend a minimum of 300-400 words for the background, and for her I would make it higher, since she's so old. Outline important events in her past, explain their effect on her, and what they mean for the story. For example, why is Scarlet Reaper, her daughter, (or son?) is her enemy?
Again you referencing her living in Hell sort of hints that she might belong to the Christianity religion. Make sure you explain this!

Powers
When you say "Very powerful" that doesn't give me any clear picture of what you mean. Very powerful compared to what? Make it relatable to something humans know about, or assign a number system, like from 1-100 and give her power a number!

Stats
These I would say the same as powers. "Very High" and "Extreme" tell me not too much. Also, she's very unbalanced here. here are her weaknesses? Characters that are bad or mediocre at some things are more interesting than those who are good at everything. Go into more detail as well!

General Advice

• I would really just say to add more to every section except ones like eye color that don't need it. ANything that's not physically descriptive, you can add to. Try to write at least 10 words per field, and keep asking yourself: "Why?" "How?" etc. If you can come up with another question, ask it. Currently, the only thing stopping her from being completely believable is the lack of detail.
• Remember she's not human, write her as such. She won't have the same standards, thought process, and views/opinions as a human would
• She's a little 2D currently. All her traits line up towards one direction, make sure to add some variety, even if it seems counter intuitive. For example, I myself am both endlessly patient and at the same time, short tempered. Those don't match up, but hey that's how I am. It's contextual, situational, and depends on the people I'm talking to. This kind of stuff is what adds depth.
• You also state that she's the original goth a lot. Once is enough, and repeating it makes her seem one dimensional and flat. Add more to her! Goths have lives outside their goth nature. What else is she about? Give her more.

I hope this helped! Feel free to ask questions or bring her back when you update her if you want! Over al, you've got a lot of potential here!

thanks! I'll get to work! (BTW, the whole thing about six fingers being the reason death's unnatural, I only said that because people think that other people with abnormalities are unnatural, and freak out over it, like homophobes over LGBTQA+ people, etc. That's what I was implying)
Other than that, Thanks a lot!