Send characters and I will give you feedback (Closed at the moment)

Send a link and I will critique and give some feedback! (If there is anything, in particular, you want looked at be sure to mention it) I will do these as fast and thoroughly as I can

Invalid Character here you go

Hello, yes, heres my son

Invalid Character here you go

I think Azrael is well thought out and very unique and has some awesome character configurations but your description of certain things is somewhat vague. Like you start to describe her clothing, which was awesome, but you only did the bare minimum (which is good if that's what YOU like but some people also like more explicit details) My only advice would to maybe explain relationships a little more like in Backstory and give areas like features and physical descriptions more depth. Overall I love this character, reminds me of a friend

Hello, yes, here's my son

First off, your son is beautiful! Your character is very original, I've never seen one like him. One thing I did notice off the bat that you did well as you are very descriptive. You hear a lot that you shouldn't describe too much or it's overwhelming or boring, which can be true, but yours just helps a reader along as long as you don't describe all at once if you are going to write a book. One specific thing, I noticed on IDENTIFYING MARKS is you add things that arent considered marks but if it works for you then awesome! I really liked that you offered a reason for him to be light because that was confusing for a sec. I don't have much criticism to add to this! I have mad respect for you and your character (I would love to hug Avatar cuz the boi has been through a lot)

(The art is incredible too btw holy)

Once you have the time, could you do Kade?

First off, Kade is adorable! I love the art! The person is talented! One thing I noticed is he doesn't have much information on the first categories like NICKNAMES etc. That is totally fine if there truly is no information to be given but most people have some form of a nickname. I like the description of his hair too, I'm bad at describing hair so you get bonus points One little thing that sorta bugs me… is he part Native or is he supposed to be full Native? I don't want this to be rude I swear! But I have a lot of families who is Native and universally people who are Native American have darker tanned skin and dark hair. (Please don't take offense, love! I just don't want you to get bashed for whitewashing even though I don't think that's what is going on) Your descriptions of PERSONALITY and FLAWS and amazing btw, very relateable and now I see why he denies bisexuality. (I myself am Bi) And also mad respect to him for living with schizophrenia, that is not easy at all! Only few criticisms would be to add more details to the beginning section and to just keep an eye on cultural norms like appearance. All in all, he is an awesome character and I hope he finds his way home

@Scout aweee thx man, im glad u like him :"D _{(hed be glad to hug u too)}

@Scout aweee thx man, im glad u like him :"D _{(hed be glad to hug u too)}

id be honored! And you're very welcome!

I'm sorry if you're busy, but if this is open, I'm hoping to get feedback on a character. He's not really as detailed, and I didn't really try to sound professional.

I was very amused the entire time I read this omfg XD I think Hiren and I are of the same mind. I think he is a really chill character and reminds me of one of my friends. (also myself, my only personality trait is dumb too) Other than DEFINED details there isn't much I can say.

I'm sorry if you're busy, but if this is open, I'm hoping to get feedback on a character. He's not really as detailed, and I didn't really try to sound professional.

I was very amused the entire time I read this omfg XD I think Hiren and I are of the same mind. I think he is a really chill character and reminds me of one of my friends. (also myself, my only personality trait is dumb too) Other than DEFINED details there isn't much I can say.

LIKE ALL YOUR INFO IS USEABLE INFO it could just be a little more details inside of things like "17 ish" but yeah sorry just didnt think I did a great job on that first reply srry

@Scout Thanks!
You're very welcome!

Can you check out this one?

I feel so bad for Lavinia! I would 100% love to read a book about her. Some minor things id like to know though is how does she communicate without a tongue? Also, I know this isn't about Oleander but maybe add in the back story that he is some form of royal or lord (I'm assuming, I don't know), it is implied but as a reader, we need clear distinction. All in all, I love her character arch and the storyline that is hinted with it. Some places I would add detail is WHY she is against all Faes. (I have a Fae character he is kind of a rat but I love him) Does she hate them because of Oleander or are you Faes all evil? Just a little thing. Great job though over all

Can you check out this one?

I feel so bad for Lavinia! I would 100% love to read a book about her. Some minor things id like to know though is how does she communicate without a tongue? Also, I know this isn't about Oleander but maybe add in the back story that he is some form of royal or lord (I'm assuming, I don't know), it is implied but as a reader, we need clear distinction. All in all, I love her character arch and the storyline that is hinted with it. Some places I would add detail is WHY she is against all Faes. (I have a Fae character he is kind of a rat but I love him) Does she hate them because of Oleander or are you Faes all evil? Just a little thing. Great job though over all

Thank you! She communicates through writing, and Oleander is a king. I guess I forgot to add that lol. Mostly it's because she was raised to believe that the fae are evil and threatening.

ohhhhhh I gotcha I gotcha! Also, a little side note, I checked out those little Picrew things you mentioned on the pictures and they are amazing!

Can you check out this one?

I feel so bad for Lavinia! I would 100% love to read a book about her. Some minor things id like to know though is how does she communicate without a tongue? Also, I know this isn't about Oleander but maybe add in the back story that he is some form of royal or lord (I'm assuming, I don't know), it is implied but as a reader, we need clear distinction. All in all, I love her character arch and the storyline that is hinted with it. Some places I would add detail is WHY she is against all Faes. (I have a Fae character he is kind of a rat but I love him) Does she hate them because of Oleander or are you Faes all evil? Just a little thing. Great job though over all

Thank you! She communicates through writing, and Oleander is a king. I guess I forgot to add that lol. Mostly it's because she was raised to believe that the fae are evil and threatening.

ohhhhhh I gotcha I gotcha! Also, a little side note, I checked out those little Picrew things you mentioned on the pictures and they are amazing!

I know, right?

Yeah, it's so cool!

Honestly feel free to look at any of my characters lol

lowkey already did look at a few XD

Would you mind taking a look at my character Nicholas Norman

hewwo again qvq
mind if i submit another kid?

Would you mind taking a look at my character Nicholas Norman

I genuinely cannot find anything to critique on Nick XD so major props to you! My only thing would be to add details to like his backstory, did he have a happy childhood before school, any pets? Basically my advice would be to add spice, other than that really well done

hey doll! i see you've got a lot on your plate, but if you get around to it i'd love some thoughts on this dude ((Hyram Chase))

Of course, love, its what I'm here for :) One thing I noticed right off is you describe him as being "Very tall" and "Very thin" these are very good to use in a book instead of actual measurements but if you are creating a character in a template like this you may want sharp details just so when you do write (or if) then you know for sure that he is considered tall <3 Also remember to add comma's between things, it took me a moment to realize what you meant when you were describing his IDENTIFYING FEATURES. I do really like your backstory for Hyram though, very original. You might want to mention Ophelia a little sooner though or just word things differently because when you first mentioned her I didn't know who she was to Hyram. I laughed when I saw "Dead Straight" XD Overall besides little things I think you did an amazing job. I don't necessarily hate Hyram (like you thing says we should) I just think he's misguided, the poor thing. I would 100% read this story of his son and him if you were to write it

hewwo again qvq
mind if i submit another kid?

Of course love, I would review as many as you like <3 I was immediately intrigued because of their tags, I am constantly blown away by the level of detail you put in. It makes it so easy to picture! One question I have is you said he is human now, a former Naga, how did this happen? Also, you still call him a Naga so I was just wondering. Also, I would perhaps introduce Virion as the "master" character sooner so it's not just suddenly thrown out there, makes things a little bit confusing. Overall I think Hiryur is very cool, a very unexpected villain! I thought he was this cute little snake boi and then I find he kidnapped a child?! Mental, man, simply crazy! Just those minor things and other than that you're golden!