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Very interesting concept! I would suggest less use of adverbs, especially in dialogue scenes, but otherwise, a solid start to a story. Keep it up!

I am wayyyy too into all this nerdiness lol. OP, the great thing about fiction is that you can make up your own laws of physics. I agree with the other commenters completely. Very interesting wor...

Thanks, everyone! This is all super helpful stuff!

I've got a creature that can project semi-corporeal images of themselves in combat. They're charcoal-colored, quadruped, and reptile-like with a face similar to the demo-dogs in Stranger Things 2. ...

Sure! Especially minor characters. It's like a little nod to my faves. However, I will say that it's distracting to the reader if it's a celebrity they recognize. You can instead start with the cel...

A super whiny character that is dependent on other people kills me every time.

She sounds like a good candidate for flashbacks to childhood. Maybe an old, morally ambiguous but wise kirin drew her away from the larger part of society to refine her skills?

"How could you kill off my Nan?" "Oof, sorry 'bout that. I had to break you emotionally before you could progress as a character lmao."

Lewis is a street divinist... but he has real magic. He amazes strangers with real retrocognition and tells them that he can also psychically predict their futures for only a "small" fee. Turns out...