Show off Your Art!!!

TW: VENT, some curse words
(honestly, nothing graphic or anything, I'm writing the trigger warning just in case you wanna skip. It's just that I don't wanna be a burden to this site but since this drawing is 100% a vent, I kinda had to write it somewhere, but context isn't relevant to judge the art so feel free to skip if you want)

TL,DR: Jack of all trades, master of none + new ventsona + sorry for the hiatus + might go on hiatus again + I'm extremely tired and fucked up + sorry for sharing but I'm running outta options

_{So, I'm so sorry for spending so much time away from this site. I love being here but University has been taking quite a toll on me and my free time, plus, my anxiety is at it again and it's making me reluctant to talk to people in general, I don't know why but it's been happening since 2020. I still have unread messages from last year's august on Whatsapp, and 60 week old Instagram DMs. I don't know why I do this, I… I wish I was better. I hate this. I don't know why I do this but the moment I have to DM someone I… I don't know. I just feel anxious all the time. I just wish I had alone time. My parents are now almost always at home which makes me extremely uncorfortable given that my only relief was being alone at home, and now that I don't have any alone time I'm this fucking close to snapping all the damn time, I can't focus at all, I feel awful, oh God… I turned 17 a couple weeks ago and now I feel like I lost the best years of my life and I'll never get them back, YES I AM HAVING A MID LIFE CRISIS AT SEVENTEEN LEAVE ME ALONE OK, I WISH THIS WAS 2003 AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH CLASS AT A FUCKING COMPUTER AND I COULD GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT BEING KILLED ON THE STREETS I WISH I WAS 15 I WISH I WAS 15 FOREVER OK I WISH I HAD MORE TIME OH GOD}

_{AND NOW THAT I'M 17 NOTHING I DO IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY AGE AND I USED TO BE SUCH A GREAT STUDENT AND I WAS THE BEST AT THIS, THE BEST AT THAT AND NOW I'M JUST "KINDA GOOD" OR AVERAGE OR WHATEVER AND EVERYONE IN UNIVERSITY IS SO GOOD AT SOMETHING AND I'M JUST KINDA OK AT EVERYTHING AND I USED TO HAVE THE BEST GRADES BUT NOW I'M JUST KINDA PASSING AND MY TEACHERS MIGHT BE SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME AND I'M SURE I'M ONLY NOT FAILING BECAUSE THEY PITY ME SO MUCH THAT THEY'RE BEING GENEROUS WITH MY GRADES BECAUSE NOTHING I DO IS GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE AND I HATE THIS SO MUCH I WISH I WAS STILL SPECIAL I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO TRY SO FUCKING HARD TO BE AT THE SAME LEVEL THAT PEOPLE ARE NATURALLY WITHOUT PUTTING THE MINIMUM EFFORT OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY CAN'T I JUST STOP TIME I NEED TO BE ALONE}

sigh I'm… I'm sorry guys. You didn't have to read this… I just… I need to put it out somewhere, maybe this is not the best place but…. whatever, at least it's related to the drawing, so… yeah, whatever. I'm so sorry. I'm legit so sorry. You don't have to reply to the vent if you don't want to, I don't wanna burden anyone, just… focus on the drawing or whatever. Thanks for reading this far though…