I will give you shitty headcanons about your favorite characters based on the little I know about them (open to all for bad opinions, however my opinions will be bad)

(Potentially unpopular opinion: Dr. Hyde is a better mad scientist archetype than Victor Frankenstein)

(Well of course he's better he's a DILF. GILF? Idk about age idk he's just hot.)

Hmmm if I ask for Hamlet headcanons do I need to provide a wiki page?

Nope! Anyways, I'll get you some fresh served hcs in a second, how feral and/or horny do you want them to be?

kidding of course. You don't get to choose! Hamlet headcanons, coming right up!

SO yeah hamlet the prince of dickmark sorry denmark. But he is hot. I like brooding, depressed types. what can i say? He should be in a polycule with horatio and ophelia, that would have solved all his problems. Invite me to your polycule, hammy boy! Anyways, if there's hamlet, would his father be piglet? but that's unrelated. I will top this man. I don't care that I don't have the equipment for it, I'm topping him. I would readily kill for this man, I'm in love. But also, he is very stupid and has only two braincells. Just kill your uncle! You killed him very unsexily, Hamlet. Also why so sexist toward your mom and Ophelia? It's weird. 100/10, he's very bi and trans, just like I like 'em. I need a partner I can't keep simping for fictional men and contrapoints.

Also I love how I just,,, automatically go for hamlet and ignore all my other requests.

Side note: iron deficiency. I cure him. yes that joke has been overdone, and you'll hear it again!

SO yeah hamlet the prince of dickmark sorry denmark. But he is hot. I like brooding, depressed types. what can i say? He should be in a polycule with horatio and ophelia, that would have solved all his problems. Invite me to your polycule, hammy boy! Anyways, if there's hamlet, would his father be piglet? but that's unrelated. I will top this man. I don't care that I don't have the equipment for it, I'm topping him. I would readily kill for this man, I'm in love. But also, he is very stupid and has only two braincells. Just kill your uncle! You killed him very unsexily, Hamlet. Also why so sexist toward your mom and Ophelia? It's weird. 100/10, he's very bi and trans, just like I like 'em. I need a partner I can't keep simping for fictional men and contrapoints.

Sdhbdsvvsd you are absolutely correct lmao

How about her

She feels like she would bake you brownies an have secretly spiked them with pot. 4/10 idk she just is.

How about him

I don't like him. 0/10 bad vibes.

Take my beautiful babe August, go nuts-

Hmm. Doesn't seem the most well developed but I'll give them a go. Honestly idk what to say we'd probably be friends. 5/10 seems kinda bland. Idk I just don't know enough about 'em.

Listen-
him

DIE. 0/10

I need your opinion of this dumbass please, he needs attention

Hmm seems like a guy with zero chill. I like it. Trans but also straight, more powerful than cishet but loses points for unoriginality. 10/10 seems pretty neat.

i can't let go of this thread just yet so i'm back again
this time i brought this beautiful boyo with me :)

Good fashion sense. I like the hair. Gives off fuckboy but gay vibes though, and I doubt he showers. 7/10.

Im just gonna drop Kiev here: Kiev roast his ass

OOH PRETTY ART!!! Anyhways, I would let this man murder me and I would enjoy it immensely (shut up this isn't actually horny this time-). He would not smoke weed with me however, that is a sin. 1/10 your sins cannot be forgiven.

I would like to see your take on this fine sir

haha reindeer go brrr lmao. 3/10.

hehe

Here's my king, the best member of the Dream SMP by far and second to absolutely nobody

Boooo. He seems like he’d beat the shit out of me but it wouldn’t be a homoerotic fistfight to the death it would just be a homophobic one. Sorry, I’m just not a fan of the SMP so I’m not gonna have much nice to say about the characters. 2/10.