Adventures In Old And Cringy Writing

Okay, so I looked back at some of my writing from when I was 12, and it's pretty bad and I kind of want to share some of it (add your own if you want. The cringier, the better)

"So can you guess what she did? She didn’t go. The next night she got a phone call, and guess who it was from? The person that has told her to go to the house. “Do you think this is a joke? It sure isn’t funny. I am dead serious. You will be sorry. Come to the house I told you to come to last night tonight. Now. And I mean it. Don’t bring anyone. If you try to have someone follow you, I will personally see to their death. Just like what happened to your mother. You won’t like it. And don’t think of taking your little sister unless you want her killed.”"
I haven't even gone into the really bad stuff yet

"“Don’t laugh at me,” she exclaimed.
I laughed harder. “With a face like that, what do you expect me to do?”
“Joey,” my father said, taking off his mask.
The girl gasps. “Dad?” she asked. “Dad! We thought you were dead!” She ran toward him, and I smirked at the look of horror on his face.
“Wait!” he said. “I’m not your father.”"

"Basically, Dad’s identical twin left, leaving me and his kid standing awkwardly in the living room.
“Sorry about that,” he said.
“Um, okay, but who are you?”
“I’m Joey. You must be Laine. You speak French, right?”"
I hate that I can tell exactly what books I was reading at the time based on the page long chapters and perspective changes

(Following)

"Once upon a time there was a Pikachu, a Bulbasaur, a Squirtle and a Charmander. They were all playing happily at the time, and they had no idea what would happen.
Then one evening, as they were going to sleep, they heard a stick crack, then footsteps getting farther and farther away. Pikachu said ( in Pikachu language), “ That must of been a wild Pokemon.” The others agreed. They thought they knew what the sound was. But they were as far away from being right as the ground to the sky. And this time, being wrong led to trouble"

This was apparently a thing I wrote in third grade when I was in my major Pokemon phase and wow

"He got a faraway look in his eyes, then seemed to shake himself and answered, “My father did a lot of research on you.”"
Uhh that's not cute, mini-Pickles

(I now need to go through my old writing to do this. Sigh)

"He got a faraway look in his eyes, then seemed to shake himself and answered, “My father did a lot of research on you.”"
Uhh that's not cute, mini-Pickles

Terror

So the highlight of my Pokemon thing was the title
I called it
Ready for this?

Pokemon: Before Episode 1

And just-
SNEEZE
MINI-ASH IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

"He got a faraway look in his eyes, then seemed to shake himself and answered, “My father did a lot of research on you.”"
Uhh that's not cute, mini-Pickles

Terror

I should mention that they're cousins and she just got done describing his naturally tousled hair and "startling" blue-green eyes (you can tell I read that in a book somewhere) and how he looked almost exactly like her

So the highlight of my Pokemon thing was the title
I called it
Ready for this?

Pokemon: Before Episode 1

And just-
SNEEZE
MINI-ASH IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

SOL

Okay I'm opening a doc called 'Diary of a Ladybug'
Y'all are in for a treat.

Okay I'm opening a doc called 'Diary of a Ladybug'
Y'all are in for a treat.

Update:

IT WAS A CRAPPY TITLE PAGE THEN NOTHING

I FEEL SO CHEATED

Dang, so do I xD

Oh no
That fourth grade writing assignment to write a story from the perspective of a pumpkin
Well then this'll be good

Oh no
That fourth grade writing assignment to write a story from the perspective of a pumpkin
Well then this'll be good

The opening part:
"I am Alex the pumpkin, and I have no eyes, no mouth, and no face. I hope to be carved by a professional, and to be preserved and sold. Currently, I’m surrounded by my distant relatives, sitting motionless, waiting to be carved."

This is gold, y'all

That's adorable I can't-

O god! I wrote this in seventh grade! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! You can tell I was super into the Percy Jackson stuff.

I was never normal. Never was, never will be but let's start with the basics. I am a Graco that means that my ancestors helped one of the Greek gods and as a thank you they gave them and the rest of my family line a super power. I am Alexandra and I have the power of invisibility. “How?” You ask, well my ancestors were good healers and they saved one of the sons of Ares ( the god of war) and he gave us invisibility.

(Honey how would you know!)

Disappointed ohs intensify as I realize that as a hardcore Romione shipper, I wrote the beginnings of a Dramione fanfic

"“I… I love you…” Draco gazed sadly after Hermione, holding the arm that she had slapped.
He had made up his mind to tell her quite some time ago, a while after he had sorted out his feelings for her. But every time he started to, he got flustered and spouted random nonsense about missing homework. His grades were going down from “not having homework done”. He had to find some way to get rid of it so Hermione didn't see that he did have his homework. He smiled, remembering how he had gone to the bathroom, expecting to flush it down the toilet, when Moaning Myrtle swooped down since grabbed it out of his hands."

I mean nevermind the fact that she's a ghost ig

Now there is one more thing I need to tell you before you can get to the story, you need to know about area 53. Area 53 is a government organization that rounds up Gracos and put them in camps to find out more about them. “Why?” you ask “Why would they do such a thing?” well the explanation is they are scared. Scared that our numbers could get out of control and start to hurt “real humans” and they could do nothing to stop it. So they hire Super Power Poachers ( SPP) to capture Gracos and sell them to the government. And this is where it all began.

(Hhhhhhhhhhhnnnnngggggggggg)

I'm mad that I've gone back and edited stuff. Because a lot of my ideas weren't terrible, so I thought, hey I'll add onto that holy crap it's awful I have to fix it