Notebook.ai

if you are reading this...

Deleted user forum 745 comments schedule
aubbs c

what's up

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Deleted user

………

You okay Austin?

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Deleted user

taylor hannah and katelyn just kinda ganged up on me………

How so?

Well I don't know the situation but based on what I've heard about them, they probably just want to help you.

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Deleted user

they took my knife idk

That….sounds like a good thing to me….

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Deleted user

ha

Were you in a state of mind that made it dangerous for you to possess a knife? If so then I'm glad they took it away from you. What's going on now?

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Deleted user

could’ve put up a fight and escaped but i didn’t

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Deleted user

no i was fine

Well I'm glad you're okay now, whether or not they were right to take your knife.

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Deleted user

took it and put it where I always keep it

hmm, well, okay

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Deleted user

i was a bit scared at first because standing against the wall and couldn’t really move

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I didn’t know what they were doing

If they make you uneasy or confused can't you let them know and ask them to give you some space? Or at least ask them to tell you what they want? I'd be nervous too if I was in that situation….

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Deleted user

it wasn’t even open LOL

Look, I was depressed in 8th grade. I was suicidal and I wanted to die, but no one would freaking let me. Every time I thought about, I thought about how people would react. I knew people would be sad. But my family? They would be so de estate, they’d never be the same. And what kind of a selfish little prick would I have to be to know that and kill myself anyway? Sometimes, it isn’t about whether or not you mean something. It’s about whether or not someone means something to you. I care about my family, and even though I had convinced myself they didn’t love me and that they’d really be sorry when I was gone, even when I wrote a suicide note in my diary for them to find, I knew that I loved them too much to do that to them. So I never could. Turns out, my family does love me, even when I’m an annoying piece of crap. Even when I’m a terrible person. And I love them, even when they’re annoying pieces of crap. Even when they’re terrible people.
My life isn’t about me. It’s about everyone around me. They are all experiencing me, too. So I can’t just off myself because I think life is too damn hard. No one ever promised comfort, or stability, or happiness. You have to take it, because no one is going to just hand it over.

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The only reason I didn’t break free and run is because I knew they weren’t gonna do anything

@Trix

But what if you are a selfish prick? Like sometimes I think about that but… I find I don't care - I'm too selfish to. I just want it over with and done…

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Deleted user

and as for the commentor above, family doesn’t care but friends do

and as for the commentor above, family doesn’t care but friends do

Boy, do it for your friends then this is not a hard concept

Have any of you like looked your family in the eyes and said, “I am depressed and I want to kill myself” ??

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Deleted user

yeah

If you consider yourself to be selfish (which I also consider of myself sometimes), think creatively. Try to imagine–what if my attempt didn't work? What if I was left in horrible pain or disabled for life? Or just imagine dying itself–what if it's not a peaceful escape from reality? What if those who die by their own hand are….idk, condemned to a fate worse than death? Either way it's probably not gonna be what you hope for.

If you consider yourself to be selfish (which I also consider of myself sometimes), think creatively. Try to imagine–what if my attempt didn't work? What if I was left in horrible pain or disabled for life? Or just imagine dying itself–what if it's not a peaceful escape from reality? What if those who die by their own hand are….idk, condemned to a fate worse than death? Either way it's probably not gonna be what you hope for.

I mean, I also didn’t know how to kill myself fast and painless and stay dead, so I didn’t try

yeah

And what happend

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Deleted user

no. That would be a stupid idea and backfire