Ignore

Har har

I'm bein serious

I’m not good at helping people emotionally, but here’s my advice for you, Jensen. THEY AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU IF THEY KEEP DOING THIS. YOU CAN GIVE THEM A SECOND CHANCE, BUT IF THEY BLOW IT THEN SCREW THEM. EVENTUALLY YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE RIGHT FOR YOU. JUST HANG IN THERE.

I found this.
I'm green.

Okay you think you're ugly but maybe you're just not your type? if you know what I mean. You're just not your definition of pretty but you look dazzling to someone. It's like christmas lights and flowers. Both are pretty, just in a different way.

Once again. I'm. mostly. joking.

Can i not try to be relatable?

You have a point but im trying to joke.

I know you were joking but I just get tired of people putting themselves down I'm really sorry

I understand. I'll restrain myself from doing so.

It's a dazzling potato! (Does this count? I'm still joking.)

I LOVE POTATOES!!!!!!

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

Zero, they can't live without 'em.

Nice! finger guns

I- I just guessed.
looks shocked

My favorite thing is dark humor

Me too.

"And then, Laughs i killed him!"

I once heard the best joke I'll try and remember it

The people in 911 can read faster than anybody

they went through 42 stories in 2 minutes

First date:
Guy: "I work with animals every day!"
Girl: "That's so sweet! What do you do?"
Guy: "I'm a butcher."
(Me from the background: "Ditch her! I nail fish heads to the wall and skin 'em! Eat 'em too…")

XD I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT'S FUNNY TO ME

LOL I'M DYING

XD

I hate these double standards….
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good deed." If you do it at home you're "Destroying the evidence."

I know smh….

I know, i was put in jail for that.

I went to jail for illegally downloading Heathens……

All my friends are heathens, take it sloooooooww