Like the Encouragement chat... but less encouraging and more vent like

I've recently found that I enjoy writing little paragraphs of my feelings or just of feelings when I'm down, and it's helped me to calm down and vent a little.
Also, I just have a really strange urge to share them, so here are some of them.
Feel free to add your own if you also want to do this (bc it honestly helps). It's like the encouragement chat… but more like just sharing and talking about different feelings and emotions.

If there’s anything I ever do that makes you uncomfortable or makes unhappy, please tell me. One of my fears, as strange as it might be, is the fear of not knowing how I’m seen by others and how I affect my neighbors. This fear haunts me everywhere. In my bed, in the shower, during class, even in my dreams. How do I overcome a fear like this? I don’t know. Then, fear turns into hate. Hate for myself. It makes me overthink a lot of things that happen to me and that I do, which then creates more fear and anxiety and sadness.

As you may know, being alone and feeling lonely are two very different things. Both are states of being. One is physical, and one is emotional. You could not be alone and not feel lonely; you could not be alone and feel lonely; you could be alone and not feel lonely, or you could be alone and feel lonely. While there are certain instances where you are alone, you can feel lonely at any time. You could feel lonely in the movie theater, in the park, in school, in your own home even. Why do you feel lonely though? Maybe it’s a comparison, maybe it’s self-reflection. I think comparison is usually felt when not alone, and self-reflection can be felt either way. Either way, loneliness is a scary feeling. Loneliness can be dangerous. Being alone can be dangerous too, but not to the extent of loneliness.

(I'll probably just share these on here as I come up with them unless they're too personal or something btw, so here's another one)

Emotions are fickle things. They hit you when you least expect them, and then you have no clue how you got the way you are, whether it be so mad you could punch a hole in the wall, or so sad you just want to curl up in a ball and cry until no more tears come out. The same with insecurities. They can never seem to make up their minds. They tug at different emotions with no rhyme or reason, and their only goal is to make you miserable. You could feel confident in yourself as you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, but as soon as you walk out of that door, you feel as if a million eyes are drilling into you with negative and hateful thoughts and messages. Insecurities are weasel-like. Sometimes you could be crying about an insecurity you don’t even know you have, and you never know how to face them either. The only way to get rid of an insecurity is to stand-up to it, but sometimes we’re not ready for that.

There are two types of anxiety. One’s a happy nervous, and one’s an angry nervous. Happy nervous happens before a good event, angry nervous can come whenever. Angry nervous is like the butterflies are attacking your stomach instead of just fluttering in it. Angry nervous can come after or before anything. Anxiety is hard to find the source of sometimes–especially the bad type of anxiety–but it’s even harder to get rid of it when you don’t know what’s making you feel this way.

(This one is a little more positive and mostly for my girls)
Every girl needs another girl in their life to pump them up and tell them they’re beautiful. This could either turn out very wholesome or very gay, but the message is the same. Girls look up to each other when they think they’re pretty or have good style, and I think it’s important to tell that girl that you think highly of them because body confidence if a big part of every girl’s life. Most of the time, when someone compliments a girl, it’s either accepted and ignored, not accepted, or very rarely taken seriously. It’s hard to take a compliment, especially when you don’t think the same of yourself. Everyone needs body confidence, and sometimes it’s up to each other to supply it. Even boys.

Self-doubt is literally the worst. It traps you in a corner, ties you up, and then leaves you helpless to anything in Life that comes your way. Self-doubt is the problem that won’t let you get help because if you try to it comes at you harder. It takes real courage to fight back against it, and if you’re already fighting and losing then it’s almost impossible to get that courage. It comes over the silliest things and then makes the big things feel silly too. How can you fight against something that is specifically designed to stop you every time you try?

I just want to add that I know that many of these may not relate to you or may not seem accurate based on everyone's story or POV, and it's totally ok to put your input in on these too.
I'm just a 14-year-old white girl living in a fairly nice neighborhood and going to a fairly nice school ranting about the first things that come to her head. I understand that I don't have the worst of it at all and many of you are dealing with much worse than I am, and I'd love to hear about what you guys think to shine a different light on the things I'm writing, etc.

Hoo, boy, that's me a lot of the time. Well, just the 'feeling completely alone even with everyone around me' part.

Oh, well, I try to listen to music that usually lifts me up, and… I write. Either on the novel I have going, or in a sort of personal vent thing where I just write whatever I'm thinking at the time. It doesn't always work, but… I try. :)

And, if you ever want to just talk with someone, I'm here. ^-^

Ah, gods. By, place to write out that stuff, so you mean the room you usually write in or the notebook/document you write in?

(Hi, so I'm an anxious bitch with a rant and um yeah)
I feel like at least 27 out of the 5 close friends I have hate me. You know? I don't do anything useful, I'm really not very funny, all I do is support the rest of them in what they want to do. Which is a great thing to do, but I literally don't do anything else because I'm fucking useless and kind of bad at everything, and the only reason why I'm funny is because my brain doesn't fucking work and I forget everything I learn within 3 hours, and then my brain jumps to another topic and I say what comes to mind, which is almost always stupid and RaNdOm XD because that's my kind of fucking humour but it's honestly just a bunch of bullshit and I have no talents whatsoever and I feel like my friends and anyone who was ever nice to me is just like that because they're nice people but secretly they wish I would just go away and find new people to talk to because I'm bothering them because now the feelings are back aNd I can usually suppress them because I'd rather just be happy and just have fun with my life but sometimes I slip and all of the self hatred chained up in the closet break down the door like "HEY YOU DUMB BITCH, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU TWELVE MILLION AND A HALF OF YOUR SIX PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT ABSOLUTELY NO ONE FUCKING LIKES, INCLUDING YOUR GENERAL EXISTENCE." And I really try not to bother people with this shit so I stopped talking to internet friends about it because I feel like I would bother them or make them feel guilty or maybe they would agree that no one actually likes me and SHIT I WROTE WAY MORE THAN PLANNED SORRY ABOUT THAT I HOPE NO ONE ACTUALLY TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS. So AnYwAy I'm DrOwnInG iN sElF lOaThInG aNd AnXiEtY aNd I'm GoInG tO fOrCe MySeLf To PoSt ThIs EvEn ThOuGh It'S bAd AnD cRiNgEy <3

Wow… you somehow managed to put what I feel on the daily into words.
That takes some strength.

I use a google document….

Oh, I see. Maybe you could start a new one, if you don't like looking after one you usually use? I don't really know, though.

Oh, dear. That's… Not fun, to say the least.

It's really hard when you can't trust the person you see the most and should be the most trustworthy. I understand that feeling.

I'm so sorry that's happening to you! I'm always here to talk if you need it.

That's fair. I wish you luck in life.