Make Me Laugh

Wait

I just wanted a horse and I wanted to kill somebody. Then that happened

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

I have a funny story if you want to hear it?

Yes

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

Suga Lover, Voldemort?

Oh. I read it as a body and no nose

Voldemort xDDD

Yes

Okay, so:
I came out to my mom as bisexual, and I said "Mom, you have a very Prideful daughter, if you know what I mean." and she said: "What do you have to be proud of? Have you seen your report card?"

So yeah. Dumb story, I know, but whatever. I think it's funny.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse.
How do you make a clown stop smiling? Kill his family
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Two worms in your apple.
Did you know that the white tailed deer can jump higher than the average house? This is because of their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can't jump.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Your mom.

Why don’t keyboards sleep?

Because they have two shifts

Yes

Okay, so:
I came out to my mom as bisexual, and I said "Mom, you have a very Prideful daughter, if you know what I mean." and she said: "What do you have to be proud of? Have you seen your report card?"

So yeah. Dumb story, I know, but whatever. I think it's funny.

Point: Mom

Yes

Okay, so:
I came out to my mom as bisexual, and I said "Mom, you have a very Prideful daughter, if you know what I mean." and she said: "What do you have to be proud of? Have you seen your report card?"

So yeah. Dumb story, I know, but whatever. I think it's funny.

Point: Mom

Yeah. Well played, dear mother, well played.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse.
How do you make a clown stop smiling? Kill his family
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Two worms in your apple.
Did you know that the white tailed deer can jump higher than the average house? This is because of their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can't jump.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Your mom.

Why do these make me so happy

I like them because I am sadistic :D