My problems with the Notebook.ai community

(lmao alright. Just got some of us a lil worried)

(Anyways I'd appreciate it you'd either edit that or just delete the response entirely so I don't have to have shame. I edited the original post lmao)

(lmao alright. Just got some of us a lil worried)

(Yeah sorry!)

(Anyways I'd appreciate it you'd either edit that or just delete the response entirely so I don't have to have shame. I edited the original post lmao)

(There)

(Thanks)

(You're welcome)

(Crud, I just deleted everything I wrote. Expect a bit of a wait and a shorter post than I intended lol)

(I got a laugh out of it. The typo not you deleting everything)

(Sorry again but I'm glad I'm funny at least)

Okay so. I'm going to address purity culture and roleplaying because I had the most feelings about those, and the autism/semi-self-semi-professionally-diagnosed ADHD says we hyperfixate on that.

I want to say that this is not an attack on anyone here and I love and respect all y'all. Please be chill.

Leftist social circles (which I am part of, don't get me wrong. I'm not a Karen) tend to focus on who can get most woke points than anything. This makes any basic interaction a clout game and everyone just looking for an excuse to "call someone out". Don't get me wrong, I am fine with pointing out people's bullshit as long as we aren't doing it maliciously. I just think that people get some sort of rush from being right, having the correct opinion. "Think critically" nowadays amounts to "be on my side or else you've failed morally and in all other ways". Which is dumb. And also a thing I am majorly guilty of.

Notebook seems to have a mini-version of this, where innocent musings can be taken way out of proportion. Or maybe someone is being snippy and a bit of a dick, but instead of trying to reason with them people launch into an unwarranted attack mode.

Humans are primarily social creatures, which makes us incredibly emotional and not the most rational. This is why dialectics is so important and also so rarely used. We need to see the "both, and" of a situation. You can be isolated without being lonely, sort of a thing. There are multiple answers to even the simplest of questions.

And I get not wanting to interact with someone who is genuinely an ass. You DON'T HAVE TO. But you shouldnt make other people's opinions for them. My cousin is one of the most amazing people I've ever met, but he also was an abusive ass (I say was because he's gotten a lot better, we wouldn't be friends if he hadn't) to his wife and she's right in not wanting to be with him anymore even though he's changed. It's okay that she doesn't forgive him.

Sorry for the personal anecdote, I just hoped it could be useful in making my point.

And it's okay to want to interact with more experienced writers/just generally older members of the website. That's hella valid. But we shouldn't actively shun younger users, and while treating people like they're human beings is my top priority, we should make a little room for immature users so they can grow.

here's where I start acting a little nitpicky. I personally don't like doing most roleplaying with younger users because I like to deal with some heavier topics in my writing and I don't want to cause lasting trauma or go into a realm that they are objectively too young to deal with. That feels reasonable to me. However, I still do like seeing what the "young'uns" (God I'm getting old. I'm 19 but it feels like I'm 109 lmao) create and I want to kinda be the weird writing Auncle and just be as supportive as possible because guess what! People like to talk about their interests! People like being listened to! And I am a people! Blame it on the trauma or whatever but I feel like even if someone isn't going about it the right way, seeking attention isn't inherently bad. It's when someone starts being toxic do we come across the main problem.

If a user started hurling slurs at me I'd avoid them until I'd seen proof that they'd changed. But if they said something ignorant I'm not going to give them shit for it, just a light "hey, you're amazing but the thing you said wasn't" and move on.

But the main reason I don't like roleplaying with younger users is like this: you're asking a firefighter to perform the duties of a neurosurgeon. Both are important and valued, and both should be appreciated for what they do for the community, but the skills don't translate over even if the compassion does. I care about you guys, I do! But like 14 is pushing it a little for me and if I'm going to deal with anything even slightly NSFW I REQUIRE the person I'm RPing with to be 18 or older.

That being said, I think we should work as a community to be a bit more accommodating for those who are younger, struggle socially, or have some other thing that makes basic interactions harder. I already have to watch everything I say and do irl because of my queerness (which I'm very open about, causing judgement) and my neurodivergence (because Karens are eternal and ableism is everywhere) and I find that being online is the safest place for me to express myself so I don't like feeling judged.

TL;DR Notebook is great, and the community is too, but we need to make it a more safe and welcoming space for creative expression so the community can flourish. Also dialectics is cool, and I'm a bit of a psychiatry/psychology nerd.

Have a good day y'alls.

Not all newbies are treated in a negative way. It's when they are annoying and just general asses that they get shunned. For instance, if someone is making transphobic, homophobic, acephobic, or other anti LGBTQ comments, other users are going to tell their friends and say "don't approach, don't talk to them, just ignore them and maybe they'll stop or go away". Or there's the other approach, and that's "call out the bullshit and make it stop". Honestly, some of the other users can go a little overboard in the way they do things; I'm not saying there are zero problems with this approach. But ignoring the problem sometimes doesn't make it go away. In addition, I have never, ever seen a, quote, "OG" user tell someone to delete their account. Granted, I've only been active on General Chat for about 7 months, and the Roleplay forums for exactly a year now. I have seen people delete their accounts over disputes, but in all honesty, it's an overreaction. For instance, I can remember one particular occasion where someone's profile pic had a swastika in it, and they were making very rude, bigoted comments. They were called out and asked to change the profile pic and stop making said comments. Instead, they deleted their account. Is this an ideal result? No, it isn't, and I do recognize that. However, i don't see how it is a bad thing that users are calling out those that they see as being bigoted and just acting in general like an asshole. The "OG"'s are not as close-minded and clique-ish as you seem to believe they are; it's like any other close friend group. It's just that they prefer each other's company due to shared history. Yes, it can be hard to get into their little group, but only because of the shared history and all the inside jokes that they have. I like to think I've been accepted into their group, and I know that at least a few of them like me. You know why? Because I gradually became part of the group. I didn't try to force myself in. I just joined conversations and I talked to them without being annoying, and I became part of the group. They tend to be suspicious of newbies simply because there have been so many bad experiences involving new people. I don't really know if my huge-ass paragraph even makes sense, because I'm tired and in pain right now, but here's my unwarranted opinion. Have fun, and my sincere apologies for the big-ass paragraph.

I haven't seen an og user tell someone to delete an account, but damn, I've seen multiple newer/ish users tell people to

I haven't seen an og user tell someone to delete an account, but damn, I've seen multiple newer/ish users tell people to

Okay yes, Crocs is right

We are a relatively small community, so there’s naturally gonna be elitism

Also it feels as if the users joining are getting younger and younger, while the contents on this site can be extremely mature at times.

also, right quick before i leave
red, you're fine
i do remember you being angry all the time and i can see why. you were going through some rough shit, i even talked about it with you at one point because it was getting worse (the stuff about your mother, and im really sorry that happened). but yeah, hey dude, it's alrighty, im also sorry if i ever did anything to make you upset or feel bad- it was never my intention. i still consider you a good friend, even though i dont know if it's mutual. the important thing now is that it's all in the past and we should just strive to start anew.

Yeah, thank you. I'm trying to be good, for her sake at least. You haven't done anything I can remember that hurt me, otherwise, I'd probably still be holding that grudge lmao
I think of you as a good friend too, though it seems we've both changed a lot as individuals. I'd like to talk with you again, if that's alright

lmao i get that, i've come to terms with some people on here who i dislike, but i ended up realizing that even though some people are a certain way, it shouldn't mean that i have to treat them differently, but hey, im glad, i used to watch myself a lot back then. i was trying to be liked, though i cant say the same for the present
and hell yeah, that's totally okay with me, i mean, it's really been a hot minute since we ran into each other on here lol

As for the rudeness chat, I actually think that that particular thread should've never been created in the first place. That said, I can also understand needing a place to vent so long as its done responsibly (like not full-out naming people, etc).

As far as i know, the rudeness chat was created specifically for the purpose of calling out users in a place set aside for that purpose, so that it isn't clogging up other threads or making other threads into hateful places. In addition, the anger and fighting that takes place in Rudeness, is supposed to stay in Rudeness. It doesn't carry over to other chats (at least it isn't supposed to)

lmao i get that, i've come to terms with some people on here who i dislike, but i ended up realizing that even though some people are a certain way, it shouldn't mean that i have to treat them differently, but hey, im glad, i used to watch myself a lot back then. i was trying to be liked, though i cant say the same for the present
and hell yeah, that's totally okay with me, i mean, it's really been a hot minute since we ran into each other on here lol

I'm glad. You've gone through a tough journey of self-discovery, and have come out trying to be better than how you were. That's amazing. I would say I'm proud of you, but I feel like that would come off as super weird.

And indeed it has lmao. Would it be alright to start a PM with you?

I am going to try to say what I have to say as kindly and decently as I can. I apologize if I offend anyone it is not my intention to do so. To refrain from using real sames I will be using letters and numbers to signify individuals. If there are any typos or grammatical errors (I am sure they are numerous)

I have been on notebook for two years with year three coming up in a few months. I say this only to provide context to the information that I provide. The Notebook that I logged onto nearly three years ago and the Notebook I logged onto this morning are two very different places. I am going to map out a vague history of what I have seen. Forgive me if you do not think this relevant, I disagree with you, I believe understanding the past is very important.
There were no venting chats, there were no politics chats, there wasn't a rudeness chat. We talked about Harry Potter and debated over which house was the best. We talked about book releases we were excited for and what our favorite tropes were. Even Rps were extremely different from what we see now, if you started one you were likely to gain some traction. There were a lot less One on Ones there were a lot of Group Rps, and there was a significantly less amount of Romance and Mature content, at least to my knowledge.
The first Era I was around for were the "Family chat rooms." where you were 'adopted' into the 'family' of a user. This was the first experience I had with the clique's of Notebook and they were extremely clique esk, family's battled head to head to see who was the most popular, most of which went unsanctioned by the head of said family, it was the first real drama I saw on this site. It was brutal and I don't think any of the Family heads are still on the sight anymore.
This was closely followed by the 'Cult era' If I remember correctly though that might have been after the whole IRL drama. The 'Cult' Ara was when everyone and their french great fairy godmother were making chat rooms and naming them ' Something Cult' And similarly to the 'Family era' they would go head to head and destroy each other, it was nasty and not good.
The fallowing segment of Notebook history was very bad, the worst I have seen on this sight. There is no one way to describe it other than "The Great Extinction." People were deleting their accounts and leaving notebook in waves. And this Event Is what I believe makes Older users so wary of new ones. This was a disagreement between some users that escalated in to supporting side A or side B a lot of new users came onto notebook in the middle of or during this drama. There were some very unfortunate irl events and there was perhaps some oversharing and some lies were told. A lot of new users were sucked into this feud unknowingly. This feud ended and just like that another began, it was argument after argument after argument. I think Notebook lost a large portion of users during this time. I only just received word that one user is back which I am very happy about but it was sad to see good people go. There were threads made to call out specific users. At one point Notebook had Hate threads, that's the sad truth of it. "@ A needs to go die." Would be the title of the thread (Not an actual title I just don't remember the actual name but the gist is right)
Then we entered this current stage of existence, really at the moment I think this is the 'Personal era'. At the end of each era there was a chat similar to this one that was made where someone decided that it had been enough, something needed to change.
I like to think that we did, Notebook is full of drama, it is full of bad things and it is full of problems. You need only look at it's past to see the things the site has been through. But after everything I have seen I can tell you that there are good people on this cite, when there was really nasty ugly stuff happening there were also good people. I have never seen Notebook as calm as it has been these last few months sense I first joined. Yes this place has issues, Yes it still needs work but it has come a long way. I am not saying we stop pushing for progress I merely suggest we look at the past to remind ourselves how far we have come.
People will always be people. And that means that they will always make mistakes and say things that are unkind and uncivil, There will always be problems within the Notebook community, because it's full of people, and people are unpredictable weird crazy and wonderful things. But this place is like a second home to me now. I go on notebook because I know I will be talking to people with similar interests, and I know that at it's core this place has the potential to be good.
All of the main problems Notebook has had have happened with a large spike of new users. So I can't help but feel a bit wary when I see a bunch of new faces, because historically it didn't end well. Sometimes it was the fault of the new people and others the fault of older ones, but they were always accompanied by new faces. That doesn't make it any one parties fault, it is merely a trend I observed.
I believe a lot of us can relate with Mr.Darcy "'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done." So if I seem elitist or, dare I say, prejudiced This is why, I think this is why a lot of us older folks seem this way because we simply don't know how to talk to new people.

This disintegrated into a very poorly constructed strand of consciousness but I shall leave it as is because they are my thoughts on the matter.

I also think Resley summed the situation up well, at least for us older users.
~ Another user who joined before the Family Era

I think I was actually present for all of those as well, but I wasn't really part of the general forums except in like, the last year. I definitely remember primarily group roleplays from that time, and from what I experienced, everyone was very nice. However I hear about a lot of drama that happened during those times that I was only vaguely aware of until it was over (looking at you, Fork Cult). I didn't really know about all the fighting since I just stuck to the roleplaying forums, but honestly? It doesn't surprise me. It's definitely saddening, but that kind of drama is bound to happen in any group of people, especially one as diverse and strong minded as the Notebook community. We've got all sorts of young people (mostly teenagers) who come from all sorts of different walks of life, and most of us are still trying to figure our lives out. For many of us, Notebook is a safe place. Maybe our only safe place.
I tend to try and stay out of drama for the most part since I'm just really not great at it, to be honest. I'm not a very confrontational person. I try not to take it too far when I actually do jump in, and while I can't really remember specific instances, I probably have taken it too far before. Generally, a lot of the gossip and such about particular users is done in group pms, and a lot of the time, it stays there unless said user does something we collectively decide is worth addressing. A lot of the time it's heated because we've got several pages worth of pm material to go off of in an argument. The user we address often doesn't respond at first, which doesn't surprise me. I would probably do the same, to be honest. But then we just keep calling them out until they're forced to acknowledge it. That's the main thing I think we can work on. When we call out a specific user in Rudeness, it's very rarely genial. Things get heated fast, and it's that kind of aggressive, negative attention that makes people want to delete their accounts. Yes, there are usually reasons (sometimes good ones) that we call people out. I just think we could do it in a better way. Instead of "@newbie get your ass in here so we can yell at you about what you've been doing wrong", we could be more like "Hey @newbie, you've been upsetting some people with how you're acting and we want to give you some advice on how to be more accepted the community". Sorry if I sound naive or stupid, I just feel like there's better ways to go about things than the way we do. As fun as drama is for us, and all the fighting, the person being attacked is understandably very upset, and we don't always take that into consideration.
That's my piece, and you can do with it what you will. I originally intended for this to just talk about how I wasn't in the general forums for most of that drama, but it ended up being this, I guess.

Just wanna add that: NEWBIES ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO GET CALLED OUT, FOR GOD'S SAKE