Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)

Yall ever find yourselves caught between two very different mindsets, and you don't know what to do? Cuz I'm kinda caught in the middle here and I don't know which to go with.

One part of me wants to press forward and put my all into everything I do–to use every weapon in my arsenal to succeed. The other part of me wants to hold back and wait things out, see how they go before I commit myself. Either I need to push myself beyond my limits, or I need to shut myself down to avoid a crushing defeat.

What's the point if I don't try my best?
What's the point if I put everything I have into it, and it's not enough?
Stop being a defeatist.
Stop being impractical.
I have to at least try.
Trying is impossible for a prideful perfectionist like me–it's all or nothing and I know it.

Urgh, now is when I really wish I had a punching bag.

Oh big mood

Constantly

Don't eat her or I'll eat your corpse

I'M SO DONE WITH MY DANCE TEACHER. I hate her class and it literally made me cry today. She is also very harsh towards us and has clear favorites. And there's no chance she'll ever quit or get fired because she owns the whole studio. I would quit without a second thought except I love the tap class there (which has a different teacher).
_{also having a fun time figuring out if i'm demiromantic or just picky}

fun fact, you only really need to be about three feet under to not get dug up by animals

Pickles this is why we're friends

:D
now that I think about it, it might be less. I don't remember

So I almost had a heart attack
I'm watching a stream and I left to get my switch so I could play while I watched, and my demon of a sister snuck under the desk while I was gone and was under there for a solid 5 minutes and scared the shit out of me

Are you ever so done with life that you lay on the floor for a few hours staring into oblivion.

Yes but it's usually less than an hour because even staring off into space I can't focus on something for very long

The downs are so much worse after a big high. Like it's just teasing. I'm stuck in a cycle of feeling horrible, tired, and suicidal, versus being restless and hyper and happy, forgetting I'd ever been depressed. It's times like these I worry that I'm bipolar.

:OO literally all of this. You said it better than I can

The downs are so much worse after a big high. Like it's just teasing. I'm stuck in a cycle of feeling horrible, tired, and suicidal, versus being restless and hyper and happy, forgetting I'd ever been depressed. It's times like these I worry that I'm bipolar.

You’re not alone with this, I’m going through the exact same thing. I have been diagnosed with bipolar, so there is every possibility you could be in that circle, but I would definitely advise you talking to a doctor or therapist about it..

I'M SO DONE WITH MY DANCE TEACHER. I hate her class and it literally made me cry today. She is also quite harsh towards us at times and has clear favorites. And there's no chance she'll ever quit or get fired because she owns the whole studio. I would quit without a second thought except I love the tap class there (which has a different teacher).
_{also having a fun time figuring out if i'm demiromantic or just picky}

Which state do you live in?

NC, why??

Also, I feel you @Owen about the therapist thing. I've been debating on whether to go to one since last year, and when I finally decided I needed it, corona happened. I hope you find a way to express your feelings to your doctor and get help if you feel that you need it.

i'm tired all of the time. i have no reason to be and i'm sorry

Me too.
And there's no reason to be sorry! You don't have to apologize for something that you can't control.