Tell me your best joke!

Okay, I don't care if it's corny, stupid, or dry. As long as it's not racist or anything. Thank youuu!

Well, I think pickup lines are my favorite joke.

One pickup line works out like this:

Person A sidles on up to Person B. Person A stands shoulder to shoulder with Person B and says,

"If you were a pirate, would you have the parrot on this shoulder" Person A puts hand on the shoulder closest to them, "or this shoulder?" Person B slides their hand to the furthest shoulder, now successfully having draped their arm across the shoulders of Person B.

This is way funnier to just explain by doing it in person…

hahahahahahahahahahaha that's pretty good! I should do that to someone

You should XD

Knock knock whos there olive olive who olive you

I'm sorry.

I love it

Knock
Knock ”Who’s—“
Knock knock
Knock knock knock ”Who’—“
Knock knock knock Knock knock ”Wh—“
Knock knock knock Knock knock Knock knock knock

”WHO’S THERE!?”

Fibonacci

@Turzelle thats a good one XD

me haha

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.

I love it! Can I please use that?

Sure! I'm glad you like it.

Genius

Never trust stairs…they're always up to something

My girlfriend said "I put the hot in psychopath" yesterday and I just about died. We were talking about psychopaths so it was appropriate lol

When does it rain money?

…When the weather changes!

I’m sorry I’m such a nerd XD

lol, these are great

I just realized I didn't even type out the joke right wow I hate myself

Hahahahahahahahhahaha!! :) these are perfect!!
My personal favorite: "What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending." -@Gypsygirl

Okay so it was supposed to be "I put the hot in psychotic" not psychopath

I had a Japanese friend once, but it turned out that he was just my imagine-asian

i have two jokes one is about vampires and the second is just a dumb dirty joke

3 vampires walk into a bar one orders ¨I'll have a Blood and Guts Cocktail¨ the second vampire orders ¨I will have Bloody Mary¨ and the third vampire just ordered a cup of water the other two vampires ask why he pulls out a tampon and says ¨I'm making Tea¨

What do you call a story about a dick?

¨A Cock-tail¨

Hope you liked

ohmy goodness the vampire tea one!!! that's hilarious and slightly disgusting!!

My life

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He was run over by a lorry.

I'm so sorry

I finally got one of those roof boxes for the car. It's very practical. I can barely hear my kids now. SORRY

Got the roof box from here: http://www.short-funny.com/sarcasm-black-humor-2.php
A classic one-liner from my character: "If ye call it a skirt, ye'll get kilt"

Jokes you'll only get if you're Scottish
“Glasgow is a very negative place. If Kanye was born in Glasgow he would have been called No You Cannae” – Frankie Boyle
A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing. “No,” argues the assistant, “look at the label – it says Taiwan.”
“They French cannae count – you ask for twa rolls and they give ye three.”

Bad Irish puns tossed around Tumblr for a while:
Waiting for your true love like, "Tiochfaidh ár gra"

Cnag cnag
"Cé atá ann?"
"Neilus"
"Cén Neilus"
"Níl fhios agam"
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