person_off
Deleted user
@Moxie I'm aro! Watcha need, friend?
The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :)
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I've been debating whether to come on this particular chat because I'm demisexual (possibly demiromantic too?) but I appear straight to everyone (excluding my close friends, whom I've told about this), even though I am that person who can't really relate when people talk about crushes/hot people/etc. So idk… I'm not exactly your trademark straight, but I don't feel like I really belong to the LGBTQA+ community (I guess I'm sort of under the A, but it's confusing). Most of my friends are LGBTQA+ though, so I definitely consider myself to at least be an ally.
But yeah, I got to celebrate pride with my friends last week, and we made a rainbow crepe cake and did each other's makeup in different pride flag color schemes while one of them played Hayley Kiyoko music in the background. It was a lot of fun.
person_off
Deleted user
@Becfromthedead that sounds fun! I've never made a crepe cake before. Is it hard? I haven't really celebrated Pride month at all except for randomly walking up to my friends with the greeting "happy __ day!" which I'm not entirely sure counts as "celebrating" XD
Everyone here seems very supportive and accepting. If you want to be a part of this chat, I'm sure you're welcome :)
Also: As part of the Gray Ace spectrum, demisexuality is a totally valid part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise! Being asexual and aromantic, I've gotten people not believing that my sexuality is valid or real, but it is and so is yours. (And on the seeming straight front—don't let what you appear as to other people bother you or define you. Lots of people at my school think I'm lesbian for whatever reason, but I've just decided to roll with it. It's not like they really believe me when I say I'm not).
@Becfromthedead Halyey Kiyoko's the bomb, sounds like a lovely pride!! Please don't ever feel like you're "not allowed" or whatever, I know there's been A LOT of asexual discourse lately but I for one think it's ridiculous to ostracize a group, especially those who are supportive/allies of other LGBTQ+ groups (obviously you have a ton of entitled assholes who police labels but it's so stupid to generalise).
@Moxie I'm tentatively greyaromantic! Need help?
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Ahhhh thank you guys! (How is just about everyone on this site so supportive?!)
@Francis the crepe cake was really time-consuming, but it wasn't terribly hard to make, if you've made crepes before. I hadn't, but one of my friends had, and she showed me how to do it, and it wasn't that difficult. Just make sure if you do, you use a non-stick pan. It was definitely easier and a lot more fun doing it with friends though.
person_off
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@Becfromthedead I should try making it sometime….thanks for the tip! :)
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No problem!
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@PuffPoff
I haven't celebrated Pride Month with my friends yet. I only have one friend who is LGBTQA+ (well I might have more but they're just closeted and haven't told me) and I have only come out to two of my friends so there's not many people to celebrate with. I've been mentally celebrating though :)
@Francis @Kaloobia I’ve just felt kinda weird about doing a lot of traditionally romantic things and I want to know if there’s a name to what I’m feeling. There’s a few things I’m okay with but idk. One of the only people that I came out to (who’s straight) said it might just be because I was in a weird relationship in the past but I just wanted the opinion of someone who feels little to no romantic attraction because you know what it’s like.
@Moxie Well for me personally, I've only had a crush ONCE, and it was intense and pure and I won't hesitate to say I was in love with her haha, but the thing is, it was someone who I'd been best friends with for YEARS, and it took me two years to understand I had romantic feelings for her rather than platonic, and then two years to get over it (I confessed and she cried and I didn't and literally nothing changed, we're still best friends, everything's cool ^^). Point is, I don't just have regular crushes, I fall slow but hard for someone I've known for years, and that's only when I know for sure that there's a slim chance they could like me back (my friend came out as bisexual, and two weeks later POOF butterflies). That's what being greyaromantic is to me, falling in love very rarely but also heavily and with my entire being. And yet, I've never wanted to go farther than hand-holding and kisses on the face, and for the longest time I didn't even have the urge to DATE the girl I had feelings for: however, these sorts of feelings might connect more to asexuality, which is something I'm also tentative and still unsure about. If it's physical and extends past the realm of cutesy, you might be on the ace rather than aro spectrum.
I hope that's helpful a bit?? I kind of told my life story there sorry haha, but it's my personal experience which I think is relevant.
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@PuffPoff
Being a pansexual with hormones is the worst because I will fall for every single person I see. It's a nightmare.
Holy Lams my beautiful gay peoples are celebrating Pride! I got a bi bracelet and a unicorn headband. I really wanna go to Pride, but apparently the one around where I ilive is July 8th
OH Story time!
So there’s been this girl I’ve liked for a while and she also liked me but sadly we are in different classes and never really saw each other. Skip forward to last month where I was sick (and still am, kinda) and I was kinda high on the pain killers. I saw her and my best friend and I went up to her, she said something I can’t quite remember and I asked her out in a wave of confidence/ not actually know what I was doing. But…. She said yes!!! So yeah… I have a girlfriend which I never thought would happen. Lol
person_off
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@Carrots congrats!
@Moxie what do you mean when you say you feel weird about traditionally romantic things? (Also what do you mean "traditionally romantic" things? Apologies, I'm a bit dense).
For me, being Ace & Aro I've never felt attraction towards anyone, never had a crush/fallen for someone, and never had the desire to be in a relationship with anyone. While I don't want sex or romance I do occasionally worry about all of my friends and family passing away before me and leaving me to die alone :/
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@Moxie I don't experience a whole lot of romantic attraction myself (I mean, I can count the number of crushes I've had on one hand, and all of them were friends first), and I can just tell you right away that it's not fair for anyone to assume that "weird" behavior in response to romantic experiences is because of a previous relationship of any sort. But could you explain what you mean by you're kind of weird about doing traditionally romantic things? Is it like you would in theory like a relationship and the emotional closeness, but you're not really much of a cuddler or kisser or hand-holder? Or something else? (Idk if it's my place to talk, but if I am able help you in any way, I would be glad to.)
Can anyone that's pan or bi explain what the difference is, because I currently identify as bi, but I'm also very confused
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@PuffPoff
Bisexual and pansexual can mean different things for different people, but I'll explain it by what most people define them as. Bisexual means you feel sexual relations towards two different types of people, weather that be girls and boys, girls and transgender boys, etc. Pansexual means you are not limited to who you feel sexual relationships for.
@PuffPoff If I may weigh in? Transgender girls are still girls, so both blend into the same 'type' of person when it comes to attraction, just 'girls'. I know the distinction is important to a lot of people but I,,,,,, feel like putting trans girls and cis girls in two different categories as to who you can be attracted to sort of invalidates trans girls' identities. I say this as a cis girl of course, anyone feel free to correct me, but that's just my two cents.
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@PuffPoff
Oh whoops I meant to put transgender boy. That is a good point though, @Kaloobia.
Thank you! That clears up a lot actually.
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@evastardust
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Personally, the only thing I’m use of is that I’m asexual. Tentatively I’d say I’m biromantic, but I’ve only really had crushes on people who I’ve known for a while, so maybe I’m demi? I’m not really sure.
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@Purple-Cat
flagThe Worldbuilder
The Worldbuilder
Hello I’m not part of the LGBT+ community but I was wondering if someone could help me. I have a gender fluid character and I was wondering what pronouns should be used. They were born a girl but I don’t know if the pronouns change depending on if they feel like a boy or a girl on the day or if they stick to the pronouns they always used? Also I might consider making other characters that are part of the LGBT+ community so it would be very helpful if someone could tell me all the different kinds of genders and sexuality’s if you don’t mind. (Apologies if I have in any way offended anyone with these questions)
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@PuffPoff
I myself am not gender fluid, so I can't help you much there. On the previous page I explained what pansexual and bisexual mean if that could help you.
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I found a really good page explaining gender and sexuality. I’ll try to find it for you. Also, I think they/them pronouns are appropriate for someone who is genderfluid. (I’m not an expert though.)
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(So I copied and pasted this from a tumblr post, and I edited a couple of things for clarification. I don't see genderfluid on here, but you can always do additional research on that one. It doesn't cover everything, but it's a good place to start.)
Homosexual - one who is attracted to one’s own sex
Gay - a male homosexual
Lesbian - a female homosexual
Bisexual - one who experiences attraction to all genders
Pansexual - one who experiences attraction based on personality instead of gender
Polysexual - one who is attracted to some (not all) genders
Androphilia - sexual attraction to men/masculinity
Gynephilia - sexual attraction to women/femininity
Asexual - not sexually attracted to others
Aromantic - not romantically attracted to others
Graysexual - normally does not experience sexual attraction, but sometimes will
Grayromantic - normally does not experience romantic attraction, but sometimes will
Demisexual - only experiences sexual attraction to someone they have a deep emotional bond with
Demiromantic- only experiences romantic attraction to someone they have a deep emotional bond with
Lithromantic - experiences romantic attraction but only in theory
Autosexual - one who experiences self-attraction
Skoliosexual - one who is attracted to non-binary individuals
Polyamorous - one who desires to have more than one partner at the same time, with the knowledge of all partners
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Transgender - one who identifies as the opposite of their birth gender
Transsexual - one who transitions from one sex to another
Genderqueer - one who identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders
Gender non-binary - one who identifies as neither male or female
Neutrois - I think this is interchangeable with nonbinary and agender?
Androgynous - partly male and partly female in appearance
Hermaphrodite - one who has both male and female sex organs or other sexual characteristics, either abnormally or naturally
Intersexual - one who has both male and female physical characteristic
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Straight Ally - a heterosexual, cisgender person who supports equal civil rights, gender equality, LGBT+ social movements, and challenges homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia
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And of course, anyone who sees errors, feel free to correct them.
I know that Rick Riordan, in his Magnus Chase series, has a gender-fluid character, Alex Fierro. Alex tells his/her friends what pronouns are appropriate at what times. Like "Heads up, I'm a girl today, use she/her" @StevenUniversefangirl
@Kaloobia Thanks, that was pretty helpful! I don't think I can relate but now I'm pretty sure I'm not greyaromantic.
@Francis The way @Becfromthedead described it is pretty spot on where I like romantic relationships in theory but I'm not much of a hand holder or a cuddler or any of that. I've kinda come to discover that I'm okay with a limited amount of hand holding and all that but idk if thats got a name or if that's just a little quirk I have. Also I can't really relate to having a small amount of crushes. I've had a lot, I've just never had a desire for them to go anywhere. Thank you guys so much, this was really helpful!