The Roodeness Shenanigans

I am going to heaven because I am a Jesus stan.

I think that driving a car called Hot Harold will knock you down to at least Purgatory

I am going to heaven because I am a Jesus stan.

I think that driving a car called Hot Harold will knock you down to at least Purgatory

Yeah, if there's layers of heaven you're definitely going to the "yeah you believed in jesus but you've committed some crimes against humanity" tier

You are a yupstart. I am an Old.

I'm a adultie

A score less two does not an adultie make

America says it does, get over it boomer

Oyster crackers are better than yiffy wiffy could possibly be

And oyster crackers aren't even good

We are making very different points but in a way we're both right
Oyster crackers are delicious

I don't like oyster crackers or croutons

Oyster crackers are mediocre but plonk’s point still stands

I knew I'd have the aces on my side but I was not expecting y'all to hate on oyster crackers

When I eat soup I like to be eating the soup, not mouthfuls of soggy crackers

and then when it breaks down and you’re wondering if it’s maybe a noodle or some chicken but nope!! cracker!!

When I eat soup I like to be eating the soup, not mouthfuls of soggy crackers

You don't actually put the crackers in the soup, that's bullshit. Eat them raw

You buffoons

There's a fly in the car and at first I didn't want to kill it but then it landed on my hair and now all bets are off. I've named him Jeff B. For legal reasons I cannot tell y'all the joke I want to
He can't get outside because we're on the freeway and the wind is too strong. I have no idea where he is but jeff haunts my waking nightmares with his phantom crawlings

once there was a spider in my mom's car.

I was sitting in the backseat at the time, wedged between my cousin and my sibling. Another cousin was sitting in the passenger and my mother was driving.

Now. My mother has extreme arachnophobia.

We were driving on the freeway, going 80 mph to Utah to visit some family and my sibling points at the ceiling. I, being tired and sleep deprived, thought they were pointing at a Craig Swapp billboard outside, so naturally I stuck a finger up and imitated Craig. My sibling frantically shakes their head and points once more to the ceiling. I look up and see a spider the size of a quarter chilling on the soft gray material that is the roof of the car.

Now, my sibling also has extreme arachnophobia.

Being the legendary sister I am, I reached up and squimshed the bug with my pointer and middle finger, letting the corpse fall to the ground among miscellaneous electronic devices and food wrappers.

My cousin, bless her soul, thought we were playing Poke the Ceiling and proceeded to rapidly poke the ceiling. My mother has yet to notice these escapades.

My sibling and I are hastily telling our cousin to let up with the poking, because then my mother would ask questions and I would have to reveal the fact that there was a spider in the car and my mother would screech, pass out, and send the four of them to meet God and me to meet Satan.

Our second cousin, sitting in the passenger seat, noticed the ruckus behind her and turned around, shooting us a puzzled look.

Luckily my sibling and I got our cousins to forget about the strange encounter and we made it to Utah safely.

God I hate spiders-

You are a yupstart. I am an Old.

I'm a adultie

A score less two does not an adultie make

America says it does, get over it boomer

And you think america should make the rules? Who’s the boomer now?

Well you seem to still agree with america on a lot of things and legally I am a adultie

Not on most things but that doesn't change the fact that legally (and physically come to think of it) I'm an adult
And sir we're not talking about adultery, that's something else

vine boom sound in my mind when I realize I’m not that far from becoming a legal adult and therefore able to drink alcohol in my country.

_{and I STILL don’t know what I’m doing in my life in the future}

But do you agree with america? Bc I think you are using a rubric you don’t believe in and are therefore false. And adultery has nothing to do with the law or age.

adultery is cheating on a spouse, so only adults should do it, therefore it has something to do with age

America's child marriage laws (or lack thereof): Am I a joke to you?

But do you agree with america? Bc I think you are using a rubric you don’t believe in and are therefore false. And adultery has nothing to do with the law or age.

adultery is cheating on a spouse, so only adults should do it, therefore it has something to do with age

America's child marriage laws (or lack thereof): Am I a joke to you?

I said "should", didn't i?

Fair point

I just looked at my active friends on Switch….

my six year old cousin is currently playing Just Dance 2021 at 11:07 pm on this fine Thursday evening

considering the fact that i wake up at 5:30 for work i should really stop going to bed at one

this is me being rude to me