@MiBoiSycore alrighty
@alice Well what is the Character's name?
@Becfromthedead How did that one time play out? did he feel guilty? did he understand that he had no other choice? Yes, that could make a nice plot slightly less related question; Does the rebellion plan to join up with the former state if they "win"?
@Paperok Isaac.
My character is really underdeveloped at this point, all I can really say is that he is half demon, and this demon thats really high up on the hierarchy got his dad pregnant somehow and out came him. So far he is just coming to ropes with his heritage and sexuality when this angel comes, the angel turns out to be the love interest. This is really bad sorry
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Xander killed another person once, when his friend was being attacked and was dying in front of him. He picked up a gun that someone had dropped on the floor, shot the attacker, and then tried to turn the weapon on himself because he was so distraught by his own behavior. He has to be convinced that he was not in the wrong.
The rebellion will not join up with the former state. Instead, all of the states will all break up if possible, and hopefully, most of them will remain in an alliance.
@alice What does Isaac want? ou of everything; what does he want from his life?
@Grace What is this character's name?
@Becfromthedead So, how much of the story do you have at least slightly planned?
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I just started working on my story's second draft. The first half or so is mostly planned out, aside from a few details. The first draft sort of fell apart because I lost sight of the plot, but I've got a clearer storyline in sight now, and I'm working on the more in-depth things that make my story what it is, such as more fleshed out characters and more world-building.
@Grace What condition is Jaime in now?
@Becfromthedead That's nice if you ever want someone to critique your characters or a chapter or something hit me up I'd be glad to :)
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Thanks! I've put Xander up on the Character boards already, and I'm eventually going to post more, once I thoroughly fill out their profiles. I have things in mind, but I had them all saved in a word file and need to transfer them, plus I'm doing some reworking with certain characters. As for chapter critiques, that'll definitely have to wait, since I'm not at all confident. I did let one of my friends starts reading, and that took a lot on my part.
@Paperok I have no idea. All day every day he sits in this chair in this room in this empty house and does basically nothing. There was absolutely no point to this story I just started writing and it happened and now I have nowhere to go with it.
I suppose I'll talk about my protagonist/antagonist character.
The story starts with her being one of the protagonists but she becomes an antagonist by the end.
What makes her unique?
I mean…a decent amount mostly because she's an original race. She's a hybrid. I don't want to write a long explanation so I'll just put this link https://toyhou.se/1681075.hybrids here if anyone wants to learn more about hybrids.
Mara has a difficult past because she is a hybrid which is pretty illegal especially among elves. She turned to thieving when she was young and eventually became a rogue. And I haven't finished the info sheet of rogues so I'll try to do a brief explanation. Rogues are trained by a group of stationary people called Druids where they become very skilled in multiple areas of combat. Rogues tend to be wanderers and adventurers and usually have good intent but are usually not accepted.
I feel like I'm getting off topic. I'll just quickly list Mara's traits
-She has a very strong will which means she has been able to live for over 100 years despite her nature
-Because she is a hybrid, she doesn't feel emotion and is cold and detached even for her kind
-She's very condescending and looks down on most other individuals, earning her respect is usually an honour and a near impossible feat
-Even though hybrids usually are the most powerful race in terms of magic, hers is below average so she tends towards combat skills and usually only uses magic when the situation calls for it
-For a hybrid (I know I keep saying 'for a hybrid' but she's definitely more human than most hybrids are) she's fiercely vengeful and will always get her revenge which usually comes in the form of an assassination on her part
Once she fulfilled her needs of revenge though she had become the supreme ruler of Medeis and had brought chaos and war to the continent. She did eventually succumb to the madness her kind was notorious for because she had no more drive to need to fight it. She gladly accepted death when it came.
Ugh this was messy and long. It's a bit late, sorry. I'm very bad at explaining things
Well as I said, Mara is more human than she should be. Even though she can't feel she's still affected heavily by what happens around her.
As a child she only knew her mother (an elf) for two years before she was abandoned in the forest and the knowledge that she was abandoned by her parents was the starting point. She was later found and adopted by a human named Galena who raised Mara but after finding out what she was (thinking she was a deformed elf) she went to the elves and asked for their help. She had grown attached to Mara and tried to reason with the elves but she killed and Mara was captured. In Mara's eyes, she had been betrayed.
After that, the elves kept her in a cell. They let her starve, fed her the corpse of Galena when they did feed her, experimented on her and generally tortured her as was the elves' nature. She did eventually escape but vowed she would destroy all elves. This is what I mean about her being more human. A hybrid simply wouldn't be able to care but Mara found it in herself to want to take revenge. She was taken in by the rogues, trained, and then set off to kill the elves but found the other main antagonist, Bron, had gotten there first.
She had been spotted by Bron and was later hunted for a long time. Since she had lost her drive which had kept her going for so long, she submitted to her true nature which allowed her to get captured again. She had a mind block set to prevent her from using magic (although she could still use basic manifestations) and was used to promote Bron's rise to power. This sparked her new drive and she escaped again.
That was her main need for revenge but her twisted mind believed that the whole population of Medeis deserved to perish which was why her goal was to usurp Bron's throne after killing him and prolonging the wars that he had started. She did this by manipulating Kado, who matched her in magic abilities. With his abilities and her skills they managed to get to Bron where Mara killed him and attempted to kill Kado even though at some point she realised she didn't want to kill him during their journeys but as they got closer, her drive took over and she forgot about her friendship with him.
Wow sorry. I made it really long again. I honestly have no idea how to make it shorter
Long is good lol. At what point does the main plot of your story take place? When the rogues send Maya after the elves, or when she starts working with Kado? In extension; What kind of world does this story take place in?
Hm… Well Antaya was raised as a singer in a singer family, so in my world she's basically royalty. Singers get different nanotech shots because their instrument is a part of their body, so she's able to summon her music spirit in battle without needing to summon an instrument first. But she's also using deviant technology in the form of a ukulele, so she has two spirits because there's one already attached to the ukulele.
Nicolas was incompatible with the nanotech shot so normally he shouldn't be able to use a music spirit, but he and his late brother salvaged some old military tech (which is now considered deviant) and made do with that. His spirit's AI is really smart, nearing superintelligence, but it's severely lacking in personality, whereas both of Antaya's spirits have human intelligence and personality. He uses two spirits as well, one of them being his dead brother's, but to use his brother's spirit he has to touch someone else's spirit and using it kills the other person.
Well technically the story starts off in Kado's perspective making him the main protagonist. There are four main protagonists but the story is Kado's mainly. It starts just before he meets Mara.
The story is in my own world. The planet is called Nativma and the continent is called Medeis. I'm not sure how to explain it without going into the entire history of it all. i'll just briefly go over it
So there were these two beings, Duns and Lins, who were enemies. Eventually, they fought and Lins almost lost but with his remaining power he trapped Duns in a star (sun) and built Nativma around himself.
He created the races to protect the surface of Nativma and created the three moons to protect the outer area. Medeis is the closest link to Lins so that is the only continent that allows the races to use magic. Since Lins was a being of darkness, the races are infected by his magic (I like to imagine a lot of veins running through everything on Medeis and magic is the blood) and that's why there are so many wars. The magic corrupts anyone who overuses it and it creates conflict. The affects of magic vary a bit depending on race though.
Um I suppose the closest time era would be middle ages-ish. Kind of your typical fantasy setting with a lot of mythical creatures and magical places.
@Paperok thanks! :)
What makes my character unique?
…
Honestly I think it's her flaws more than anything. She's blunt, aggressive when provoked, and has this victim mentality that makes her think she's always being targeted and singled out even when she isn't. Her main flaw (and subject of its own arc) is the fact that she has no loyalty to anyone but herself, and yet she refuses to take the people around her seriously because she doesn't believe they'd be loyal to her (kind of a hypocrite, honestly). I think her flaws make her unique because they allow for so many diverse character arcs interacting with the main storyline (plus she's a protagonist without a love story, not even in a subplot). She has a lot of character development planned which will hopefully make her more real in the long run.
Also, she's really bizarre and full of contradictions. Like she has purple highlights and combat boots and a take-no-prisoners attitude, but she also loves sewing, cooking, knitting, and baking and she grows her hair out because secretly it makes her feel like a princess.
I don't know if she's really unique in the sense that she's special or that this level of character development is unusual. It's more like she's the most developed, human character I've ever created so she's unique to me as a symbol of my continuing growth as a writer, if that makes sense.
[I just realised how long I've been ranting for, sorry about that]
@ninja_violinist What is her name? why is she as wildly hypocritical as she is? How do the other characters react to the way she is? what kind of story is she in? How does her character arc tie in with the said story? also long is good :)
Even though Kado's the main main character, he wasn't the first one I made so I'm still really working on him.
He was raised on a prosperous farm where he lived comfortably with a loving family. He was taught how to be hard working and generous.
He's very charismatic and loves sharing and listening to stories with other people. Kado developed a curiosity for the world from all the stories he was told and has an adventurers spirit although he never intended to leave his home town until he was forced to.
He saw the world as it was told through stories, seeing only good and evil and not understanding the complexity of it. Although he has a certain sway over people he is easily manipulated and has to face reality through harsh lessons.
He is a natural leader and very strong willed with a chivalrous drive that makes him look naive in many people's eyes.
Eh I think that's a very basic overview of Kado
@Paperok sure! my story is set in a post ww3 world where guns are obsolete because of bulletproof armor, so the weapon of the future is sound. people get nanotech shots around 12 and if they're compatible, they're able to use the nanomachines in their body to summon an instrument, and then a "harmonic spirit", which is an entity made entirely out of nanomachines that is controlled by music. It's kind of like the stands in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, but more like the Stardust Crusaders stands and less like stands after Diamond is Unbreakable. singers are really high rank, though, and they get a different shot that's entirely dedicated to their harmonic spirit and reacts to their voice. Spirits have AI so they're capable of acting independently of their users.
Any spirits or instruments that aren't from the nanotech shot are considered deviant technology and their users are targeted.
@Paperok thank you! people generally settle disputes by music. they're at peace, but nobility and other high-ranked people are getting bored of the peace and starting proxy wars and other trouble. technically everyone is using nanotech because all harmonic spirits are nanotech, but it's a general stigma thing against not using your shot. for example almost nobody carries instruments around because their instruments are inside their bodies until needed, so antaya draws a lot of attention for having her ukulele. or if you're incompatible with your shot and you salvage something from somewhere like nicolas, then you're kind of cheating. but mostly some of the nobles are trying to stamp out any individuality. my boyfriend (who is helping me write) says its also a commentary on the music industry and people being shot down for doing something different.
@Paperok Her name is Victoria, but only the foolish or the brave call her anything but Tori.
Her hypocrisy makes sense in her own mind - there was an incident in her childhood where her closest friend "betrayed" her and left. So she decides that she won't give her loyalty to anyone who doesn't deserve it or who would do something like that - but obviously that's not how it works in life, so it's pretty hypocritical.
Other characters have little patience for Tori. She can be funny in a sarcastic way and sort of okay to be around, but once her good favor is lost she's not subtle about her dislike. Most people think she's weird, arrogant, and selfish, and honestly they have a point. (This feeds a lot into her victim mindset.) She might start out well, but unless she really likes someone there's a low chance of the acquaintance ending well.
Her story is strange because she's telling it in hindsight in an audiorecording (dual narration with the other person who experienced the same thing). So there's a disconnect between the story she's telling and where she's at characterwise (she goes through two major arcs - one in the tale she's telling, and one as she talks about it). It's kind of hard to explain.
Her loyalty arc is basically fueled by spite. She meets a guy struggling with loyalty and they have several ugly confrontations about it, where they eventually decide to never speak to each other again. Then she decides to change her ways to spite him. The arc is definitely more subplot and characterisation than the actual focus of the story though.
Thank you for your interest!
@nekh that's very interesting and pretty unique; how much of the plot do you have mapped out?
@ninja_violinist I like Victoria. could you explain the main plot/focus of the story to me?
@Paperok The main focus… Tori is randomly flung into a world not her own, in the middle of a warzone. Unfortunately the people who end up capturing her are the "villains" - fighting an imperial war of aggression and lacking the moral scruples to keep anyone alive who isn't useful to them. Though Tori survives by offering up her services to the psychopathic leader, she is constantly forced to choose between her own life and comfort and what she knows to be right. The two main themes are loyalty (loyalty to one's beliefs and conscience) and culpability - the fact that she made those choices to survive doesn't change that fact that she made them and made people suffer for them. So yay for moral dilemma and emotional trauma, I guess
[Honestly I'm not too happy with the plot yet. I'm one of those unfortunate writers who has characters but has no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going with them.]
@ninja_violinist What world does Tori come from? if thats the case why dont you explain some of the other characters? say the ¨psychopathic leader¨"what is he all about?
