Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

So, I work odd jobs a lot because all the boys who used to do them have left and I always went with them. Anyways, I did odd jobs like making a shelf from scratch, hanging christmas lights, mowing lawns, making wooden rings, and stickers and bracelets for vsco girls. Anyways, It's been really slow, but I finally got a job for the first time in a couple of months and I'm so pumped because I was worried I would have to get a real job where I would actually have to pay taxes

Spoiler - click to show.

how do i convince someone to not commit suicide

So little this is a, unsure because emotions are weird Rant. Also it's in like third person for a bit for some reason?
So, Rels has Friend, Friend is the best thing in her life he is Best person.
Friend has helped Rels deal with lot's of things like, life being trash and life being hard and getting out of bad toxic relationship
Basically Friend is very special and Friend is very close.
Recently Friend is not doing very well,
Friend is sad a lot and does not know how to deal with being sad because they are generally a very up beat very happy person.
To me Friend is like this beacon, so hopeful and so helpful and kind and compassionate. Kinda like a candle that goes around and lights all the other candles.
And now It's like I'm watching that flame flicker and die,
They're so unhappy
Even if they didn't say it directly but just through the words they use and the things they talk about I just, man it hurts my heart to see them so dark and unhopeful.
Crap
Crap, Crap, Crap
I never want to see that smile go away, I want to make it so they never feel like the world is falling apart, I just want to take all of their pain away, I'll take it I will, I just want them to be happy. Because They deserves nothing less then happiness.
You know what scares me? He keeps pinching himself just to feel something. That terrifies me , I'm the one that introduced that even being a thing. I- No, No, no, no, What if that escalates, would he even tell me?
No, he is to- to important, to precious, pain shouldn't be his answer, I can't let it be his answer No.
I will take it all, his hurt his troubles his worry, No I will not let that be his answer I can't let that be his answer, But I can't fix it.
I'm a half hour drive away, we're quarantined, He has work. And I don't know what's going on, I know the reaction but not the cause, I can't fix it. I can't do anything but type out words on a screen and hope, that somehow they'll reach him, But I don't know if my candle is strong enough to light his.
Seeing him hurting and not being able to do anything Hurts so bad.
He has helped me through to much, he has worked so so hard to be where he is. He does not deserve the pain he is feeling.
I'll do what I can to help, Looks like it's my turn to be there for him, I don't know if what I have to say will ever be enough but, I don't know what else to do.

Thank you Izzy so so much
I'm going to try, really really hard.

There are people who're following no one but andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) and me and that seriously freaks me out, not gonna lie

nervously looks away

Me: hey, maybe things will be alright after all. maybe there is still hope for my future…
Also me: struggling to figure out 5th grade math despite being in high school

i'm so fucking hopeless

That's me trying to help my brother with his homework. THEY CHANGED SO MUCH…Like what happened to the Tic Tac Toe method?

You know I just love, watching and helping three other kids do school while trying to do my own school and also watch a toddler by myself….
Yeah it's great, just fantastic, not stressful at all.

Is it sad that when its raining, All I wanna wear is small ass booty shorts and a crop top, because confidence is so high rn.

I feel like that right now.

Everybody won't let me forget that time I fell asleep in a trash can

Sounds reasonable