Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

I've been super depressed ever since I visited home last weekend, and God, I just want to leave forever.
My parents don't even like each other, I don't feel like I'm that liked either. My brother is turning into what they want as well. They're shaping in him harmful views, and having him live up to their desires which I think he will gladly do because he only cares about money.
My mom is chipping away at me slowly, but it's not outright bad enough to call her out on, and if I do, she will play victim.
My family is racist, homophobic, and otherwise against just about everything I stand for, and they let me know that and also act like I'm this liberal indoctrinated little shit who went to college and now thinks they know best. (Which um…. no? In fact, in every political argument ever, I'm the only one who even sources things???)
I have to spend this summer with them. I'll probably be visiting my grandparents more.
I have to look for housing for next year, and I would love to move into a new place asap, but idk if I can before August.
And even if I can, I have no idea about finances. It's so stressful. I'm not financially independent. I can't break any ties without consequences I don't know if I'm willing to face.
And either way, I know I will have to spend more time with family, and that makes me feel terrible. I have a refuge while in my hometown. My fiance's family loves me. But when I spend "too much" time there, it bothers my family for some reason. It's literally 10 minutes away, very safe, they know my fiance, they know their family.
And I can never tell my family that they essentially catalyzed my mental illness, even though when I go to therapy, that's usually the main topic, and the root of 90% of my issues.
I really don't want to go back. I can't go back. But like… I have to.
It's so hard to feel valid in it too, because no one has ever abused me, or done anything illegal, and it's not that bad from the outside looking in. I've done a lot of research, and I have almost certainly been a victim of emotional neglect, and it's been going on since even before I started feeling the effects.

It's okay, I'll get out soon ;-;
And I have a good support system outside of my family, so I'm going to be okay. It just Feels Bad, yknow?

That's part of it. I also don't want to break away too hard too soon if that means losing monetary support. I have enough to get started, but I'd need to get a job again if they cut me off.

Remember to study, cause I didn't until just now and wow do I regret trying to cram last minute from a studyguide the teacher gave up on. Half way through it just switches to another teacher's worksheet and I'm pretty sure it's a chapter ahead of our textbook, but now I have to memorize 3 chapters instead of 2 to be sure.

I hate Uber Patriotism
I want to look into what country is actually best for me to live in, and have mentioned this to my father, and he went off about how I was talking against American, the only Land of Freedom and that the rest of the "modern world" has been destroyed by socialism and things like free health care and LGBTQIA+ rights

I hate Uber Patriotism
I want to look into what country is actually best for me to live in, and have mentioned this to my father, and he went off about how I was talking against American, the only Land of Freedom and that the rest of the "modern world" has been destroyed by socialism and things like free health care and LGBTQIA+ rights

As someone who considers themself as a bit partiotic, even I can agree with this. There is a line, that shouldn't be crossed with it, and if you want to go live in another country that's your choice. And no one has the right to stop you. Your dad can go eat rocks if he wants to try and tell you otherwise. Or I'll fight him head on.

I hate Uber Patriotism
I want to look into what country is actually best for me to live in, and have mentioned this to my father, and he went off about how I was talking against American, the only Land of Freedom and that the rest of the "modern world" has been destroyed by socialism and things like free health care and LGBTQIA+ rights

As someone who considers themself as a bit partiotic, even I can agree with this. There is a line, that shouldn't be crossed with it, and if you want to go live in another country that's your choice. And no one has the right to stop you. Your dad can go eat rocks if he wants to try and tell you otherwise. Or I'll fight him head on.

Exactly! Patriotism is fine, I have nothing against it, but too many people take it too far in America. If you're so patriotic you think your country is the only place anyone will ever have a good life and the country has no problems at all
Uh
Idk sounds like a cult to me 👀
But seriously, to say that going to any other country is the same as

That's kinda
Fucked up

I'm not really patriotic. Just grateful to be born into relatively good circumstances, yknow?
I don't care about made up countries. Just the people that make them up.
Being critical of the country you live in is important to making it a better place. When we smile and act like everything is perfect here, we ignore the problems that are literally killing people.