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writing club. (Open)

@IcarusFightsTheSun book forum 705 comments schedule
group
@Serenity88 group

rIIIIIIght so ik Ive put this doc up on this chat a LOT, but I need you guys to see the last bit!! some of you may have seen the fourth (I think? not counting lol) installment, but I finished it so ye

https://www.notebook.ai/documents/228982

pls rate 1/10 + feedback! how'd I do?? I've been thinking of this scene a lot so I finally wrote and yayyy it turned out better than the original draft!

poke poke
Yo I wanna know how I did, pls someone critique or compliment it or something😭

language

(Have you considered just posting it in a forum of your own?)

book
@IcarusFightsTheSun book

rIIIIIIght so ik Ive put this doc up on this chat a LOT, but I need you guys to see the last bit!! some of you may have seen the fourth (I think? not counting lol) installment, but I finished it so ye

https://www.notebook.ai/documents/228982

pls rate 1/10 + feedback! how'd I do?? I've been thinking of this scene a lot so I finally wrote and yayyy it turned out better than the original draft!

poke poke
Yo I wanna know how I did, pls someone critique or compliment it or something😭

IM ON IT… in the morning, it's past midnight =w=

group

Hello there may I join?

book
@IcarusFightsTheSun book

Hello there may I join?

course! everyone's welcome

person_off
Deleted user

Would anyone want to read/evaluate my idea/backstory document?

group
@Serenity88 group

ye! I haven't anything new to read in many months

person_off
Deleted user

Wonderful
This is essentially just a writing dump for my backstory for a dnd character
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/182675/edit

language
@Chillicheesey language

can I join?

emoji_events
@EldritchHorror-Davadio emoji_events
verified_user Mod

absolutely!

book

heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?

group
@Serenity88 group

heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?

wdym? like editor?

book

heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?

wdym? like editor?

… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj

language
@spacebluelily language

heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?

wdym? like editor?

… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj

ooooo kinda like a beta reader?

book

heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?

wdym? like editor?

… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj

ooooo kinda like a beta reader?

well not quite cause that would require me to write, but if anyone want to do that for me I'm down! it be good to start writing anyways.

group
@Serenity88 group

heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?

wdym? like editor?

… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj

well whatever it is, im interested.

book

oh cool! thx ren!

person_off
Deleted user

heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?

wdym? like editor?

… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj

Like, just read something you read and judge you? Sure

book

so i have a small thing and remember when i asked if there was someone who i could send stuff to and they could just, like, absolutely tear it apart for me? well pandora, ren and mag, are you guys still interested?

person_off
Deleted user

Sure! My critical judgy brain is ready for the tearing

book

kk
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/249032

person_off
Deleted user

That paaageee doesn't exist/I don't have permisson

book

ah sorry! I'll go fix it

group
@Serenity88 group

so i have a small thing and remember when i asked if there was someone who i could send stuff to and they could just, like, absolutely tear it apart for me? well pandora, ren and mag, are you guys still interested?

yE😎

book

alright, it the link should work now, mind trying it again?

person_off
Deleted user

I can see it
Criticisms will arrive shortly

group
@Serenity88 group

kk
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/249032

oh das cool
I have a few nitpicks in grammar, but thats about it. I like 👍

book

kk
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/249032

oh das cool
I have a few nitpicks in grammar, but thats about it. I like 👍

ah, thank you! I admit I'm not very on top of it with my grammar, anything in particular I should watch out for?

person_off
Deleted user

First up: Like Serenity said, Grammar, spelling, speeelling! Lots of sentences lack a starting capital letter, thats an easy fix.
Alley is spelled wrong in 'ally rat'. In general I do enjoy the little excerpt, not sure if this is intended as a middle of story thing, or if it is supposed to be the very first scene in the story.
Also, It says he is ranting to 'the thing in the shadows' but he then reacts like he hadn't meant to wake it. While he was actively shouting and ranting to it. Or is the Snake-dragon thing different from the thing in the shadows? I'm pretty sure they're the same thing, but I could be wrong??
Also: I believe it's is a 'it is' not a ownership, you use its to refer to a thing owning the limbs. But thats mostly fine.
All in all, its good! Just mostly grammar and spelling issues.
And my brain did judge a 'skeletal' grin as maybe not making sense on a human face, but I think it makes sense for the most part.
Anyhoo
Good ideas, I like the story!

book

yep! thx guys, I'll make the next one with this in mind!
(btw, in case you'd like to know, it was kinda the same as when you talk to a dog or smth, he just didn't mean to disturb (also, I wouldn't describe him as human, but it doesn't go on long enough to delve further into that part))