Nix kept eating, humming softly to himself. "Cas had a lot of bad boyfriends on earth…"
Big Brother: Gay Edition (MATURE, Enter at own risk!)
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"Oh…" Derlik let out a soft sigh. "I'm all for the chaotic life, but even I have to say that there are things you just shouldn't do."
"Yeah…" Nix was quiet for a moment. "Halm and I killed one of Cas's ex boyfriends. I think he deserved it. He raped Cas…"
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Derlik listened quietly. He himself had no problem with murder- he did it all the time.
"That sounds reasonable," he said calmly.
Nix nodded a bit. "Yeah… a lot of Cas's boyfriends were like that. He got taken advantage of pretty often."
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"Mm… I'm glad you got to get revenge on one of them, at least." Derlik let out a soft breath.
"Yeah… Zachary wasn't as happy about it. I don't think Cas knows, actually… we wiped his memory."
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"Ahh, that makes sense." Derlik hummed a bit. "Is that when Zachary got like he is now? He figured out what you were doing?"
Nix nodded a bit. "Mhmm. He got shattered…" He sighed softly. "We never really meant for that to happen… I mean, Zachary and I haven't ever really gotten along, but… I never wanted to hurt him."
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"It's not your fault," Derlik said gently. He ran his fingers through Nix's hair lightly. "It just wasn't done properly. A mistake, that's all it was."
"Yeah… I guess…" Nix sighed softly. "It's a pretty big mistake, though…" He leaned into Derlik's hand and closed his eyes.
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"True…" Derlik hummed softly, though, not wanting Nix to get too upset by these things. It was done, now.
Nix buried his face in Derlik's chest and sighed shakily. "I-I was just trying to protect Cas, you know?"
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"I know," Derlik said softly. He ran his fingers through Nix's hair, holding him close.
Nix turned his ears back and curled his tail around himself. "I really wish I hadn't done it… it wasn't worth it…"
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"I know… But all we can do is help Zachary now, Nix. It isn't worth it to feel like this." Derlik held Nix closer to himself.
Nix shrugged a bit and held tighter to Derlik. "I just… I dunno what to do… it's all my fault…"
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"It is not," Derlik said after a moment. He held Nix, rubbing his back a bit.
"Mm…" Nix rubbed at his eyes a bit and sighed shakily. "Y-You think so?" He asked, his voice weak and wavering.
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"I do. I really, really do." Derlik raised one hand to cup Nix's cheek.
"Whose fault is it, then?" He asked softly. "If… if it isn't mine…?"
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"Halm's." Derlik spoke very, very softly.
"Oh…" Nix rested his head on Derlik's shoulder again. "But it's still at least partially my fault…"
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"You didn't know," Derlik said softly. "But Halm did…" Derlik ran his fingers through Nix's hair.
"I guess… but I should've known better than to do something stupid like that…" Nix sighed.
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"Nix," Derlik said softly. "How long have you been human? A few days, I'm to assume. You've been through a lot in your life, even before that, and then you had to deal with the pressures of being human." Derlik cupped Nix's cheeks in his hands.
"It's.not your fault," he assured softly.
Nix whimpered quietly up at Derlik, his ears flattened back against his head. "I-I just… c-can't help but feel guilty about it…"
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Derlik looked down at Nix, pulling the cat close to himself. He started to rock a bit, rubbing small circles in his back.
"I understand," he said softly. "But that doesn't mean you need to be… It's okay, Nix. You didn't know…" Derlik bent his head down, lightly kissing Nix's head.
Nix flushed a bit and buried his face in Derlik's chest, tears stinging his eyes. "I-I wish— I could just t— t-turn back time… s-so I could fix it…"
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Derlik patted Nix's back still, holding him tight.
"I would help you do that if I could," Derlik said softly, "But there are some things even a god can't do…"