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Astral ran his fingers through Simon's hair, falling silent. Why hadn't Simon fought like that before, when Astral had been hurting him? He had tried, but not like that. Just how much had he already been hurt..? Astral knew it was going to be impossible once Simon realized what had happened, but… he wanted the man to be happy. He wanted Simon to heal, to be like he had when they were with the otters, just a sweet man enjoying life.
Simon kept his face pressed into Astral’s chest, still crying. The nightmare had unearthed painful memories that he’d thought he’d recovered from. He tried to remind himself that he couldn’t get hurt anymore, and that did help a little bit. After all, he was safe here with Astral, wasn’t he? Astral would take care of him…right?
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"You're safe here," Astral said after a moment. He continued to run his fingers through Simon's hair, keeping his touch gentle. He wanted to help Simon feel better, but he wasn't very good at it. He'd never really done it before, not genuinely.
“Thank you….” he said softly. He appreciated everything Astral had done for him. Despite Astral’s lack of experience, he was doing a good job calming Simon down. After a few more minutes, he’d finally stopped crying.
((Mmmmm I thought about Simon too much and started crying XD))
((I’m so sorry I know this is annoying but…bump?))
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(Nu it's okay! I've just been busy with school oof-)
Astral looked down when Simon stopped crying, still holding the man tucked away in his arms. He moved his hand to cup the back of Simon's head now, letting out a quiet breath.
"How are you doing now?" he asked softly.
((oof, school is gross))
He shrugged, making no move to sit back up or otherwise leave Astral’s arms. He didn’t speak yet, not sure if he’d be able to do so without breaking into tears. There wasn’t anything he really needed to say just yet either.
((Okay but like imagine if Simon didn’t actually get gregnant somehow and he’s just having depressive mood swings and Astral’s like “sir wtf” XD))
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(Okay first off both I and Astral would cry–)
Astral fell silent when Simon didn't speak. Was something still wrong? Of course it was, Simon had just had a horrible nightmare. The god turned back to running his fingers through Simon's hair, the man close to his chest.
((but what type of tears would they beeeeeee))((isn’t a lot of what we do in this rp for the tears thoooo))
Simon liked that, it made him feel safe and cared for. He began to actually calm down, his body relaxing. He let out a soft sigh and after a few more minutes, he looked up at Astral, wiping a few stray tears off his cheeks. “S-sorry for disturbing you.” He said, his voice a little bit unsteady, but understandable. “I’m okay now.”
((we definitely don’t have to tho, my brain just randomly generated that lol))
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(Astral cry 'entire hopes smashed' and I cry 'I already made the child' tears XD)
"You didn't do anything wrong," Astral promised softly. He looked down at Simon, cupping the man's cheek in one hand.
"I'm just glad I could help you with that…" He kept Simon close, still worried for him. If he fell back asleep, would he have another night terror?
((hmmm well that seems like a good enough reason to not have that happen then XD))
“T-thank you..I really do appreciate it.” He looked away slightly, not pulling away from Astral’s touch, just looking anywhere but at Astral. “No one’s ever really um…helped me through them before..” So he’d been through this before, while he was with other people no less, and not one of them, not ever, had offered him any help in the slightest.
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(indeed XD He's cute as fuck and too innocent to be Astral's son–)
Astral blinked some in disbelief.
"I… Well, I can promise you that no matter what, I'll always be here to help you through them. I don't want you to be in pain…" The god held Simon close, sorely tempted to touch his forehead to Simon's.
((awww, Simon will protecc him))
“Thank you….that really does mean a lot to me…” he said, burying his face in Astral’s chest again to hide how his face had turned bright red. Astral really was making this whole not falling in love with him thing difficult.
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(Perfect! Even if the kid will end up doing the protecting… ;D)
Astral didn't bother holding back, resting his forehead gently on Simon's head.
"It does to me too…" Astral closed his eyes, his hold tightening just slightly, nothing to be worried about. Protective. "You mean a lot to me, Simon…"
(( D: okay but 10/10 Simon will take so much abuse from Astral if it makes the kid’s life better even in the slightest))
“Why?” He asked softly, genuinely curious about it. Why would a god care about him?
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"Because… you're sweet, and kind, and so, so nice…" Astral kept his eyes closed.
"I-I, I see a lot of things, Simon. I know what humanity is like, what it can do. All of it. I can see you went through a lot, too, but you've still managed to stay just so, so sweet…"
“You really think so?” He asked, looking up at Astral, a small smile on his face. “I’m just trying to make the best of bad situations I guess. Most of the stuff that happened to me was my fault anyway…”
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"I really think so." Astral offered a small smile on turn, but it faultered.
"And I would bet everything that it wasn't your fault what happened." Astral ran his thumb over Simon's cheek, keeping close.
((Astral stop leading my son on I stfg))
Simon teared up a bit at that. Clearly, no one had ever said that to him about, you know, anything. His lip trembled a bit, not wanting to start crying again.
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"Is never your fault when someone hurts you, no matter what," Astral continued, voice soft. "There is always another option." Astral hugged Simon close, getting patting his back.
Simon buried his face into Astral’s shoulder, silently starting to cry. It had always been communicated to him, throughout his entire life, that whenever someone hurt him, it was because of some aspect of how he was. That’s one of the main reasons he’d been abused for so long. Because he believed he deserved to be treated poorly.
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"I've got you… and I'm going to make sure your not hurt, not ever again. You deserve so much better than what you've had…" Astral put his face in Simon's hair, lip trembling just slightly.
"You're so wonderful, Simon… please, please don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
He hugged Astral tightly, more tears falling down his face. Though they weren’t necessarily all sad tears.
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Astral held Simon close in turn, his arms securely around the man. What- what had he done? He'd hurt Simon, hurt him so much, and the man didn't even know yet. How… how could Astral do it? How could he ever fix it?
Simon of course, still had no knowledge of this. And now that Astral had essentially validated that all the awful things he’s been through weren’t his fault, there was no telling how he’d react to hearing that Astral had hurt him too. Would he understand that Astral had been hurt so much before too and try to forgive him? Maybe. But it was more likely that he’d break down into a completely different person than he’d been before.
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Astral knew there was almost no way Simon would ever forgive him for what he'd done. He just… he wanted to take care of Simon while the man would still let him. He held Simon close, rubbing his back.
"…Never hurt you again…" He mumbled softly, seemingly a continuation of a sentence that had trailed off in the beginning and end both.
Simon didn’t really think much of Astral’s mumbling, having not heard the full sentence. He was just content to be held in Astral’s arms and know that he wasn’t going to get hurt. He was so so tired of getting hurt. He snuggled closer to Astral, smiling happily.
