Lucifer hesitantly opened the door at Gabe’s tone, concern etching into all his features as he poked his head in. “Is everything okay?” He asked, yet again wondering if Angelica had scared Gabe or something.
Gabe looked up at him, sucking in a very small breath as he did so. It…nothing, really, was okay, but should he say it?
"No," He responded quietly, eyes drifting down to the floor again.
Lucifer couldn’t hold himself back, he immediately walked in and snagged a chair so he could sit next to Gabe without invading his space. His eyes were filled with worry when he looked at Gabe, “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked gently, not wanting to force anything on Gabe. Definitely not after last night.
He wanted to, but at the same time he knew if he even started to, he would stop. He couldn't. He couldn't even answer the question. He stayed silent, looking up at Lucifer, some black curls falling into his face.
Lucifer bit his lip, but he didn’t want to push Gabe any further. Maybe he’d had a bad dream about his ex. Maybe he just wanted to get his mind off it. Lucifer frowned a little, “If you ever- just that- I’m always here for you,” He told him quietly, biting his lip. He figured he should get to the point he had come in here to say, in case Gabe wanted to be alone. “I- Uh, Gabe, I came here to tell you I rented out a place for you in a the city. It’s a nice apartment, with room service and everything. Just that with Angelica here… I don’t the palace would be the best place for you. I can visit a lot, if you’d like.” Lucifer didn’t know what he’d do if Angelica hurt Gabe.
Gabe stayed quiet for a couple more moments, simply staring at Lucifer in a way that became rather unnerving after a while - in the lighting, his eyes appeared almost black, and that with his hair and skin, now gray in the light, seemed like a ghost.
Eventually, he spoke.
"Who is she?"
Lucifer raised his eyebrows, “Angelica? She’s…” My warden, my tormentor, my ex-lover, “She’s an angel. She comes down from heaven a lot, kinda like an ambassador. God can’t see in hell -I can’t see in heaven- so she’s somewhat of a messenger.” Lucifer wished she was just a messenger. “You don’t have to worry about her,” He finished quietly.
Gabe paused for another while, never taking his eyes off Lucifer. "You love her."
Lucifer nearly gagged, “Hell no. Definitely not. Just- no. Was that what was bothering you?” Lucifer asked, shocked.
Gabe pressed his lips together, something like relief washing over him, but not quite. He looked to the floor again, remaining silent. After a while, he stopped and looked up at him again. "You went with her."
“Yes, I did, but- but not like that,” Lucifer admitted, sighing, “I guess I was stupid for hoping you wouldn’t ever have to know about her.” Lucifer chewed on his lip before continuing, “How much do you know about the stories of the creation of hell?”
"Enough," Gabe responded, his voice still as low and monotone as it had been since he'd woken up. It was strange to see him like this - whenever he didn't trust somebody or his emotions conflicted over something, he would suddenly become quiet, simple, and monotonous for quite a while.
Lucifer frowned a little, his eyes filled with sadness as he continued, “Angelica and I were a few of the first angels made. Almost a council, for the Lord. We were happy, I guess you could say,” Lucifer paused before continuing, “Angelica was greedy though. She was jealous of God’s power. So she began sowing seeds of distrust. Angelica couldn’t fool God, but… she could fool me. She framed me, and I was sent to rule hell. I wanted to go back, to tell God of my innocence- but you can’t communicate directly to heaven from hell. And I’m sentenced to live here forever.”
Lucifer paused, staring at the ground. He took a deep breath before continuing, “At first I stayed locked up in my palace. I guess I was mourning, I don’t even know. But as time went on, the demons that inhabited hell grew more and more restless. You see, hell gets it power from what I call the basement,” Sorrow filled Lucifer’s eyes, “Basically, hell gets it’s power from bloodshed. Torture. At first I thought it was horrible, and refused to do it. But then Angelica came down from heaven and told me I had to do it. Because if I didn’t…” Lucifer found he had trouble continuing, staring at the floor and furiously blinking the hint of water from his eyes.
Gabe raised an eyebrow, refusing to cry himself, although his emotions were the likes of it. "Yes?"
Lucifer shook his head at himself, “Uh, sorry. Just that Angelica is… well, she’s holding my sister hostage, in heaven. And if I don’t do what she says… she’ll hurt her.” Lucifer wrung his hands. Many people didn’t know the devil had a sister, but Faith was as real as the air they breathed. Just hardly talked about, since she lived in the far corners over heaven.
Gabe pressed his lips together, wanting to say something comforting but not sure what. He decided, eventually, to not say anything of the sort, but to say what else he had been thinking about.
"And what you called me?"
“What I what…?” Lucifer squinted his eyes a little, confused. Until he remembered. He had completely forgotten what he said last night. “Oh- Oh my gosh, Gabe, I never meant that. I swear to you, I never meant that. It’s just…” Lucifer hated to relive the memory, but Gabe deserved to know the truth. “I had a hard time coping—being sentenced to hell for an eternity. At first I turned to drinking. I had my drink invented, just so I could get so drunk I couldn’t remember my own name. One time I drank so much I-“ Lucifer took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself. He skipped over finishing that sentence, “After I drank, I began sleeping with prostitutes. As a distraction. I don’t hardly remember them, but I earned a reputation for letting them take a room in my palace. I was… a horrible person. The person that Angelica wanted me to be.” Then, a few tears escaped Lucifer. He had never told anyone his full story.
All sorts of things were tearing at Gabe's heart, but he kept them under control. He continued to stare at Lucifer, not letting so much as a frown cross his face.
"So it was a lie."
“Of course it was, I- I didn’t want Angelica to hurt you. If she knew you were important to me,” That I love you, “She’d kill you. I’m sorry I called you my- my whore.” Lucifer looked at Gabe with eyes filled with tears. A familiar feeling tore up through Lucifer’s chest that made him feel sick.
Gabe knew two things.
He knew that he wanted to be known. He wanted Lucifer to tell everyone that he loved him, and not have to worry about danger. He wanted to ignore logic and live in safety.
But he also knew that Lucifer had done the only thing he could. He knew that he would be dead if he had told Angelica the truth. He knew that he should still trust Lucifer, if only a little bit.
"Do you still love me?"
“Of course I do,” Lucifer responded, nothing but truth behind the words. Utter truth. “Of course. You’re the only one that ever believed in me.” His words came out almost as quiet as a whisper. “I love you.”
Gabe blinked, considering. He would trust Lucifer a little bit more, then. Gabe still loved him a lot, and Lucifer's words only reassured him. He threw his arms around Lucifer, leaning into him quickly. He needed comfort, even as every emotion in his body was in turmoil.
Lucifer leaned into Gabe, wrapping his arms around him tightly. He winced a little at the slight pain in his back, but it was a distant feeling. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He whispered over and over again, tearing falling out of his eyes. How could Lucifer be so stupid? Idiot, idiot, idiot, the words repeating over and over in his head.
It's okay, Gabe thought to himself, unable to say the words to Lucifer when he himself was in so much pain. He needed somewhere safe, and although he could do as well on his own, his heart said he would be safest here. So he hugged Lucifer tighter, burying his head in the crook of his shoulder.
Lucifer gently -hesitantly- brushed his hand though Gabe’s soft curly hair. In that moment, Lucifer vowed to protect Gabe. From anything and everything. So Gabe would never become another Faith, so he’d always be safe. Lucifer would make sure of it.
"Sorry," Gabe mumbled, in loss of anything else to say. His actual brain said he shouldn't trust Lucifer as much as he was, but he needed to.
“You don’t have to say sorry…” Lucifer replied quietly, then made himself pull away. He glanced at the door, “But what I said at the beginning was true. Think it would be best for your safety if you were far away from her as possible.”
Gabe nodded, some color returning to his face and some brightness to his eyes. I do have to say sorry. I always do. "Okay."
Lucifer forced himself to stand, “If you want to pack or anything, I’ll go send for a cab for you,” He explained softly, looking at the ground.
Gabe looked up at him, some curls falling into his face, but he didn't raise his hand to move them away. "I…I do want you to visit me. A lot." And it was truth. Logic was slowly fading out of him the more time he spent with Lucifer.
