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"It isn't a waste if it's to keep your ass healthy, so either we go to that store or we go back because we aren't walking-" Knight checks a holographic map that he produces with a tap of the barcode on his cheek. "-13.2 gods forsaken miles. Or rather, you aren't, and I'm not carrying you."
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Derik sighs, then turns and starts walking back to the wear-house.
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Knight blinks. "You are a petty bastard, you know that?"
He simply picks Derik up at this point and puts him under one arm like a football and walks into the store.
One of the store attendants hears the door open and the bell placed in front of it ring, and comes out from the back, stopping dead in his tracks as his gaze slowly travels up. And up. Until he's looking at Knight's face.
"Hey. My friend here is. . . roughly a size 21 in mens. Find some blue and/or grey jeans - loose enough for freedom but tight enough to comply with OSHA guidlines, some ankle cut socks and some briefs. I'll be paying, so don't worry about whatever he says." he commands.
the store clerk nods frantically and rushes off to find to colleagues, who, upon being informed of the behemoth in the main area, scatter off to find the other items of Knight's request.
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Derik yelps, wiggling in Knight’s arms, but he eventually just gives up. He grumbles to himself, crossing his arms. “And you’re very self contradicting.”
He then smirks at Knight when he hears him say ‘friend’. “Awwww I’m your friend? How sweet.” He snickers to himself.
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"Oh shut it." Knight snorts. "What was I supposed to say? 'Dearly detested?' 'Friendly foe?' 'Lovingly loathed jackass?'"
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Derik grins, “The guy you kidnapped? Small annoying man? Stubborn jackass? List goes on, really…”
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Knight nods. "First thing you've said since I met you that actually makes sense."
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Derik chuckles softly, “Glad we can agree on something.” He somehow manages to rest his chin in the palm of his hand.
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"Me too." Knight smirks.
The store attendants come back with a few armfuls of stuff and Knight nods casually. He walks over to the pay desk and taps his cheek, causing a card to fold out. He slots it into the chip reader and pays for everything before smiling at the attendents. "Bag those up."
They rush to comply.
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Derik raises an eyebrow. “Intimidation? Really? Boy I wish I could just chop a few inches off of you.”
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"Which part of me? Either way I'd have a lot more to spare." Knight comments tonelessly.
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Derik laughs softly, “Still.” He sighs and snatches a business card and procedes to fold it into what looked like a swan.
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Knight tilts his head.
"What was the purpose of that?" he asks.
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Derik shrugs, “I don’t know. Bored?” He grabs another one and does the same thing.
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Knight watches for a bit longer before shaking his head and looking back at the attendants, who were nearly done.
They speed up and blaze through the last of the clothes, bringing them quickly to Knight, who takes them and smiles at the attendants. "Shoo."
They scatter and Knight laughs as he walks out the door.
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Derik looks up from his nearly finished swan and then huffs and goes back to what he was doing. “You’re still a rude asshole. But so am I do I can’t really say shit.”
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"Blah blah blah. We're heading over to-" Knight consults his map again. "-GAP next."
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Derik raises an eyebrow, then shrugs and continues fidgeting with the paper swan. “I’m guessing you’re never gonna put me down?”
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"Probably not." Knight admits. "Since this is kinda fun."
He starts walking and humming the tune again.
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Derik barks a laugh, “Mhmmm.” he wiggles around. “Where’s my phone- I’m bored.”
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"Probably in your pocket. Or still in the warehouse. Either way basically inaccessible." Knight shrugs.
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Derik grumbles, somehow managing to dig into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He almost drops in, but sighs in relief when he catches it. “Think again, jackass.” He turns it on, humming softly to himself as he gets on some kind of game.
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Knight rolls his eyes and mutters something in Afghani before making sure that Derik would be as uncomfortable as possible by stepping into every pothole or just barely missing the curbs as he makes his way to the GAP.
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Derik doesn’t even react, too enveloped in his game.
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(blehhhhhh)
(btw i figured out the maximum limits for Knight's strength- he can comfortably hold a GAU-8 Avenger machinegun with a full feed system and drum, which makes the whole thing weigh roughly 4,029 pounds, including a full ammunition load lol)
Knight rolls his eyes and steps into the store.
"What kind of shirts do you normally wear?" he asks.
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(Omg)
Derik blinks. “Oh uh…any plain shirts. Preferably a dulled down color like ashy blue. Or black.” He shrugs. “Nothing fancy.”
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(so using the power of my flawed math [very flawed math] the very max he should be able to lift is a fully crewed M1 Abrams [which is 55 tons {and i did say he could comfortably hold a GAU-8 Avenger machinegun; he can also keep it still while it fires, which releases approximately a fuck ton of energy}] lmao-)
Knight shrugs.
"Alright."
He starts off towards the shirt section and picks out a handful before paying.
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(DAMN- I’m simping)
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Derik hums softly, looking back at his phone.
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(it really isn't that difficult to make that happen lmao-)
