"I still can't believe that you took on the task of coloring my eyes. Like, how does one even do that?"
Kinda want a demon and human ship so...help?
He ldughed shyly and shrugged "i-i'm not cpletly sure. I juse have a reference and copy it while adding my own touch."
"And is that why that's the only color on the page?"
He nodded "yeah, tI tought it'd be neat to only show the eyes andleave the rest black and outlined."
"I wish I could draw. Unfortunately, I'm shit at it."
"you're not that bad, you just need practice." He pulled out the picture Jay had been working on before and showed it to him "it's pretty good."
"It's only good because it's you." He chuckled. "I know how to draw you."
Raz blushed a deep red and buried his head into jay's shoulder "that's usually the hardest thing to draw, another person." he said softly, peeking a glance at the picture and indeed seeing that it was actually pretty accurate, even for being Jay's first time drawing.
"The angles are a little wonky which I don't like but meh. It's okay, I guess."
Raz shook his head "that's okay, it makes the picture your own instead of a direct copy. It's not thaticible anyways."
"Well that makes me feel better." He relaxed a little, forcing his thoughts of inadequacy away.
Raz smiled softly and curled up against Jay "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean to hurt you."
He frowned softly, the joy in his eyes fading. "No, it's okay. It wasn't your fault. I got carried away and let myself slip." He buried his face in his hands, sighing. "I've never had to really deal with lapses in power so I didn't recognize it and you got hurt."
Raz watched hat for a bit as he talked and shook his head. He pulled Jay to him and wrapped him in a hug like when they first met. "Hey, you didn't hurt me. Words were said, that's all." He rested his head on Jays shoulder and gently stroked his hair in an effort to calm the other "we both could've handled that a bit better."
He clamped his mouth shut in an attempt to keep his guilty sobs inside. He hated how this demonic power made him feel and what it made him do but he hated how weak he was to it even more. He instantly returned the hug, gripping him tightly.
Raz relaxed a bit into Jay as they held each other. He leaned his head on Jay's shoulder and pressed a gentle kiss to his head "it's alright," he whispered, continuing to stroke his hair.
He forced his tears down, compacting them into the ball of lead in the pit of his stomach with all of his other guilty thoughts and emotions although he didn't let go of Raz. Not for a second.
Raz glanced up after a while and pressed a kiss to Jay's cheek "It's okay to cry you know, I'm not gonna judge." he offered with a small smile. "you've seen me cry before, it's okay if you cry, I promise."
"No, no I'm okay." He mumbled. He was absolutely not okay but he wasn't going to force that on Raz after everything else he'd put him through.
"you're not." He whispered softly, pressing his cheek to Jays in an effort to comfort him. "Well if you want to, know that you can."
"I'm not putting that responsibility on you." He muttered, squeezing him tighter.
Heaughed softly "what? Seeing you cry, I've seen people cry Jay, it's nothing uncommon." He pulled away slightly to look at him. He gently cupped his cheek and stroked his face with his thumb
"No, not that…" He leaned into his touch although he refused to meet his eyes. "I mean watching me having a full guilty meltdown."
Raz's eyes softened "you're not the only one who feels guilty." he said softly, brushing aside strands of hair that had fallen into Jay's face.
"You have no reason to feel guilty. I do."
"But I do either way," he pressed, using his index finger to stroke the bridge of jay's nose and brow
He finally met his gaze, his eyes dull and dark. "You really don't. It's my responsibility to take care of you, not to scare you into submission."
Raz held his gaze steadily and traced the sharp curve of his jawline "Your right, but it's also not a one-sided relationship. we both should have handled that better than we did. you don't have to take this all on your shoulders."
"I know that but it feels better to know that you're free of guilt or pain than it does to know that you're suffering and I'm fine. I want to protect you, to make sure you're okay. It's what we agreed to."
"I'll never be free of guilt or pain. My past relationship made sure of it. But that's part of being human." He took Jays hands in his and pressed them to his cheeks. "I promise you I'm ok. If that ever changes, I'll be sure to tell you." He pressed a kiss to Jay's wrist