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“One is good,” Autumn agreed with a light laugh.
You’re planning things like you’re going to be together forever.
Well, I’d like to be…
But what if you’re not?
mOth GIRL COME MORROW I WANT ANOTHER RP WITH YOU
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Alex set a hand on hers, smiling. “What breed should we get?” He asked this, unaware of her thoughts.
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“Husky,” Autumn said distractedly. She chewed on her lip as she looked out the window, not even reacting when he set his hand on hers. Her thoughts wouldn’t let her stay in the present, they had her drawn to both past and future.
What if he leaves like Mom and Dad?
But he wouldn’t do that… He loves me.
That’s what they said. And then they left you.
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Alex glanced at her and squeezed her hand. “Autumn? Babe, are you feeling okay?” She had suddenly gotten very distant. Had he said something wrong?
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Autumn glanced at him and gave him a small, faked smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry. Just tired from all that bowling.”
And there go the walls: straight back up again…
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Alex blinked and grinned back a bit. She still seemed kinda off to him…
“Okay. We’ll be home soon and I can make you some food.”
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“Sounds great,” Autumn said, still smiling at him.
You’re going to push him away.
I thought that’s what you wanted?
No! I just want you to be careful!
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Alex gave her a slight grin, one that asked her to tell him anything that was wrong before looking back out at the road.
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Autumn’s gaze shifted back to the window, and her smile fell. She didn’t deserve him. Not at all. She would just end up pushing him away, even if it wasn’t on purpose…
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Alex squeezed her hand again. He had no idea what was going on. Was she just acting earlier? With the laughs and jokes?
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Autumn chewed on her lip. Maybe she should talk to him, that might clear some things up, right? But she needed to wait until they got back to his house. That way, she could go hide somewhere if she needed to.
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Alex hummed unsurely to the song on the radio. A few moments he realized it was his own.
Ugh… He found himself picking out the mistakes he had made. He wasn’t much for his first album, though he was fond of his second. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t doing everything as he was in his first.
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Autumn glanced over at Alex as he hummed and smiled faintly. She really didn’t deserve him; he was too good, too sweet, too funny.
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Alex noticed her look over in his peripherals and glanced at her. He smiled. She looked almost sad.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
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“Nothing,” Autumn said softly, looking down. “I just… I don’t deserve you…”
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Alex paused at a light and turned to face her completely. “What makes you think that? Of course you deserve me.” He squeezed her hand desperately.
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“No, I don’t,” Autumn whispered, her voice coming out choked as she stared down at her lap.
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Alex wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her closer to him, leaning his head on hers.
“Yes you do, baby. I love you more than words can explain, and I’m sure you feel the same.”
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Autumn nodded and squeezed her eyes shut tight as tears formed in them. “I do, and I know you do, too, but… I have a hard time with accepting it sometimes…”
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Alex glanced out as the light flicked on. He drove out of the lane and pulled over, hugging her tightly again and kissing the side of her head.
“I understand that completely. My feelings will never change for you. Even when we’re eighty two and wrinkly.”
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Autumn just have another silent nod as her breathing hitched with a small sob. Why was she crying? She should stop. She could do that, right? She was an actress after all…
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Alex leaned his head closer on hers, rocking her gently in the seat and humming softly. He rose her head to look at him slowly, and leaned their foreheads together.
“I’m here for you, you know.” He wiped her tears away gently, his eyes soft and smiling.
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“I know,” Autumn whispered. She bit her lip as she opened her tear-filled blue eyes and looked at him. “Can we— Um, can we go home?”
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Alex wiped away her fresh tears and kissed her cheeks, her nose, then her lips and held it.
“Of course we can,” He murmured once he pulled away.
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Autumn slowly nodded as she gave him a tiny, wavering smile. “Thank you,” she whispered.
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“You’re welcome, baby. I love you,” He whispered back.
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“Love you, too,” Autumn whispered back softly, biting down on her lip to keep from crying again.
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Alex gave her one last squeeze before going back to driving. He drove as fast as legally allowed, just wanting to get home.
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Autumn’s gaze drifted back to the window once more.
He really is too good for me…
Stop thinking that way!
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Alex soon reached his home, where he got out and walked around the car to help her out too.
“Did you want to go lay down?” He asked as he practically lifted her up.