Damian barely had the energy to be relived when Juniper didn't stop, but he murmured a breathless thank you and kept up his death grip on the couch and Juniper's thigh. He buried his face in the arm of the couch and he would not cry, he would not, not here in front of Juniper. He went boneless as soon as the hands were off of him, shaky and pained and husky-voiced. "I'm fine."
"…dad better hurry with those painkillers. let's give you a second to breathe before i wrap you up again." he tossed the gauze back on the table, scooting back so damian could have some space.
"Though I said I was fine," Damian grumbled, hoping the gruff annoyance in his voice would disguise the way he groped for Juniper's knee once he backed away. He wanted to touch, to hold, to be comforted with the gentleness Juniper had said he deserved. "Just… get it done. Please. I don't… I… I can't let someone else… look at me. Not when… when I'm like this."
juniper cocked his head, but moved forward again and unfolded his leg out from under him so damian could reach.
"alright. here goes." he got the gauze, pulling damian back towards him so he could reach around and layer it over his chest. once the gauze was on, he tied it off and dropped the roll in his lap to smooth his hands over damian's shoulders.
"you alright?"
Damian latched onto it with the same white-knuckled grip he'd hand before, new desperation tightening his hold. Making sure Juniper wouldn't pull away again. He'd never been so okay with being hurt as he was now, every pull of the gauze across his back a jagged, burning burst of pain. Only the hand braced on the arm of the couch was keeping him up and he sagged back against Juniper when they were done, ignoring the pain for the comforting reassurance of palms dragging slowly across his skin. He let out a breathy little sigh. "Mmhmm."
he continued to rub damian's shoulders, hoping that this would provide some semblance of comfort for the poor dude.
i'm just glad it's not any worse. any worse than this and we both would be screwed, cause hotshot here won't let more experienced hands touch him. he thought. maybe it's age that he's afraid of. a young doctor, maybe?
Damian relaxed quickly into the touch, resting his head lightly on Juniper's shoulder. His throat was completely exposed and with anyone else it would've felt scary but here, with Juniper, it just felt natural. Safe. A soft little sigh fluttered out of him, shaky and vulnerable. "Thank you."
"never a problem."
he wrapped his arms loosely around damian, scooting back so he could lean against the arm of the couch while damian leaned on him.
maybe talking will distract him?
"i remember, one of my early missions. my dad had me tag along even though i wasn't very useful at the time. maybe 14 years old, i'd like to say. he mostly just made sure i stuck to his side while he went about business, but it was to get me familiar with the job.
it wasn't my first, but i was still a baby to homicide. and the guy we were hunting figured that out pretty quick."
he recalled the vague memories, being pressed to his dad's side while the featureless figure craned to see him.
"he targeted me. i didn't hide fast enough, but it's how i took a broken plate to the thighs. it's pretty gruesome, doesn't make for a great story, but the part you need to know about is how i learned the motto we keep when it comes to taking care of someone. as little trauma as possible. i remember those thick ass bandages around my legs, curled up in my dad's lap as he held me. he always told me it wasn't my fault, and that he'd always be there to protect me."
he raised a hand to card through damian's hair, still speaking softly.
"that's how you're supposed to treat the injured. that's how i'm treating you. gently. will you believe me now?"
Damian relaxed against Juniper, natural as breathing, and listened. It felt strange to sit and let himself be held, talked to, taken care of, comforted, everything Juniper was doing for him so easily. But… for one in his life he felt settled in his body. Like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.
He listened dutifully to Juniper's story, wincing at broken plate to the thighs because he remembered being hit with china too, only nobody but himself had been there to painstakingly pick the little bits of shattered pottery out of his skin. His mom had been mad at him for ruining he tweezers in that scary special way she never used to get mad at dad. He liked Juniper's story better. He liked the idea of small Juniper being held and comforted and taken care of.
He practically melted when Juniper started to run fingers through his hair, letting another trembling sigh spill from his lips. It was followed quickly by a whine when Juniper asked his question. Wielded the words supposed to like a weapon against Damian's less than quality treatment.
He couldn't force himself to protest, though. Not when he felt soft and fluttery and laid bare for the first time in… ever. "I was 5," he said, not quite an answer to Juniper's question but as close to one as he could manage. "when he started acting out. Uh… My dad, I mean. He'd… he'd hurt me. Yell at me. Break the things I loved and, eventually, me. And… I've never…" He swallowed roughly, surprised to find that he was getting choked up. "I've never been… held. Not… not well. Not like this."
juniper stayed quiet, keeping the snippy comment of that much is obvious to himself. at some point he started to hum, no particular song, just a hummed version of a church bell's melody. he kept running a hand through damian's hair, and decided against asking a question. not even your mother?
he wanted to say he didn't comprehend how someone could neglect to be kind to and cherish their child, but he fully understood. bastards, the lot of them.
Damian shivered under his hands, unable to keep himself from pressing up up up into Juniper's gentle touch. He needed more, wanted more, but he didn't know how to say it. How to put it into words and make it real. So he contented himself with leaning and letting out half-whimper half-sighs and letting Juniper see the gently curving line of his oh so vulnerable neck. "That's why it's hard," he mumbled. "Nobody's wanted to touch me the way you do in a long, long time."
"hard to believe." he removed his hand from damian's hair to set it on his shoulder, and pressed a soft kiss to the crook of his neck.
"impossible to believe nobody has ever thought to love on you. some people are missing out, huh?"
Damian let out a soft whimper when Juniper kissed his neck, offering up more of his throat with a pleading look in his eyes. He was trembling softly beneath the hands warming his skin, but it wasn't bad trembling. Not pained or uncomfortable or anything like that, just sensitive. "I… I wouldn't say nobody, but… um… I think nobody good fits. Nobody good except for you."
"hah, i wouldn't say i'm good, but at least i have good intentions."
he fluttered several more kisses up damian's neck, leaving a gentle bite on his jaw. he didn't particularly want this to go anywhere sexual, just found it appropriate to lay more attention onto the poor soul in his lap.
It was probably a good thing that Juniper didn't want to take things any farther because Damian would probably vibrate out of his skin if they did much more than this. As it was, he was having an embarrassingly hard time keeping it together, practically arching up out of his lap to chase the contact even as he trembled and shook at the attention. "I… um… Juniper, this is… oh~… Oh, there! Please."
"let's save that for when you're not cut up, love." he smacked a kiss over the bite, and retreated to just hold damian and hum.
"do you have a favorite memory?"
Damian whined softly but settled in his lap without protest. It would be bad if they kept going, he'd probably wind up hurting himself trying to do something stupid and his back already ached enough. He retreated into the warm security of Juniper's arms and frowned as he thought about the question, brows furrowing together like he was trying to answer a particularly difficult math problem.
They sprung apart suddenly when he found the memory, smiling up at Juniper as he recounted the story. "Well, my madre always liked to do her hair up really fancy, and one day she let me take it down and put it up in braids. I always liked her hair- it was like raven wings, y'know? All dark 'n shiny and pretty- but she never let me touch it before and I was gonna do a crown because my sora let me try one on her and it looked real nice. But… um… dad found out. And he got mad. But! Mom still let me put it up afterward, and she helped me wrap up my hands with incredible hulk bandaids."
He scrunched his hands in memory, the ghosts of her hands wrapping plastic-y bandages around his chubby 7-year-old fingers. He could practically hear her voice in his ear, all sweet and melodic. Very good bambino, that's so beautiful! Maybe your padre will finally pay me a compliment, eh?
juniper smiled back at him. it was an unfamiliar expression, but felt right at the time. "cute. she sounds wonderful."
"She was." Damian's happiness dimmed, despite the buzz of satisfaction he got from seeing Juniper smile sincerely for the first time. His mother hadn't been like that for a long time, though he still did his best to look out for her. "What about you? What's your happiest memory?"
"oh, well." he leaned back, shuffling through a few memories.
"meeting my mom was pretty cool. my family situation is kinda fucked–dad isn't my biological dad, he's my… first cousin, once removed. he has a cousin who's about the same age as him, who's my mom. she had me when she was young, 16, and handed me off to magik's family." he took a breath, recalling the grip he had on his dad's hand, and the way his mom beamed when she saw him. her spanish was rusty, that's what comes from marrying a white man, but it was easy to talk to her.
"so, when i was a teenager, they got back in touch. decided i should meet my biological mom. so we met at a coffee shop. she caused a scene, immediately pulling me into her arms and lifting me into a hug. she was… celebrating, i think. that i was well-adjusted and healthy. we talked for hours, and we still meet up every now and then."
Damian let out an amused snort when Juniper said his situation was kind of fucked, realizing how strangely similar they were. Mafia connections, fucked-up families, a distinct numbness to violence- it was like they were the same kid from two wildly different timelines. "That sounds wonderful," he said, a touch wistful. It would be nice to have parents- or… parental figures- who cared. "You really love her, don't you?"
"i do. it was nice to find out that she still cared, and… didn't abandon me. it's like every adopted kid's fear resolved." he paused, and brought a hand up to playfully tousle damian's hair.
"she'll love you, too."
Damian flinched slightly- hands coming out of nowhere without warning tended to have that effect- but he relaxed as soon as he could and leaned into the playful gesture. It wasn't Juniper's fault he was a freak. And anyway, it wasn't like Damian didn't like the attention. He was already blushing at the kind words, even as he shrugged uncertainly. "I dunno, I'm not… um… I'm not the best around strangers. She'll probably think I'm an idiot."
"considering you managed to bag an extremely picky bitch like me, i'd say you're pretty good around strangers. she thinks people who're awkward are cute, she knows they care about what they say."
juniper tucked his arm back around damian's torso.
"magik has… a lot less tolerance for humans in general, and he's more of a tough love type, but it's real tough love. not that abusive shit that most people call tough love."
"Yeah, but you're different. You're… special." Damian leaned up hesitantly to peck him on the lips, a soft smile playing at the corners of his mouth because he was allowed to do this. He was allowed to kiss Juniper and talk about family and melt happily against him when he was tucked so neatly against his chest. "I'm glad Magik's a good guy, though. The last thing I need is more abusive shit in my life."
"you flatter me. and yeah." he paused for a moment, and decided to just go for it.
"you could stay with us, you know. we… don't have a room for you, but we can definitely make something work. just anything for you to never have to get hurt by family again."
Damian stiffened at the offer, hard and immobile in Juniper's arms as he thought about it. Dad would be pissed, but… Damian wouldn't be there. Damian wouldn't have to care about dad being pissed. Except… he wouldn't be there to help mom either. "I… I can't. Momma's… she's too sick to leave." Or… maybe sick wasn't the right word. Her body was just fine, it was her mind that had slowly started to rot away. "And anyways, I… I couldn't do that to you. Not now. Not while I'd be such a burden."
"you could. it's much more of a burden if you go back, always having to worry over you. and of your mom…" he absently brought a hand up to damian's face, tucking some hair behind his ear.
"we have a place for her. getting her there will be hard, but. there is a house with the retired family, too tired to continue. it's not like a old folks home or whatever, just the people who aren't taking hits anymore. they'd be willing to take her in. you could visit her as often as you wanted."
Damian, still tense as he considered everything Juniper was offering him, relaxed slightly at the touch to his face. He melted into Junipers arms completely a few seconds later, all the fear and anger and uncertainty draining out of him. It was too good to pass up. "I'd like that," he said quietly. "I think momma would like it too. Do… um… do you know how soon they can take her in?"
"as soon as you're ready, love. if you have stuff you need to get from your house, i'll go with you, and mag can come with to get your mom."
he brought his other hand up, and cupped damian's face.
"see? it's okay. you're gonna be fine."
