Everything Starts Somewhere: (CLOSED stalkers tho) (Fantasy!!!! And other stuff) (Whoever joins gets a box of free cookies!) (I'm (no longer) lonely.) (Did I mention free cookies?)

"Quoth, feel free to attack his eyeballs." Susan said, opening a container of peppermints.

Will yelped and went back to hiding behind Death.

"Stop being such a coward." Death said to Will. He snapped his fingers and time stopped, but the duration continued. "There, somewhere a little more private." he said. "There are greater evils than you have ever known of. Every living thing in the universe has enemies, and one has enemies greater than one would ever know."

"Oooookaaayyyy. This is really freaky." Quoth croaked nervously.

Will blinked, “I didn’t need that reminder.”

"I can stop time Quoth, you've seen me do it before." Susan said. This didn't phase her. "Susan, your brother, the one you lost, he has been commissioned by these enemies to destroy the Hogfather entirely. You must stop him." Death said. "What brother? I don't have a brother, if I did I would remember him." Susan said. "And how could I have 'Lost' him?"

“Do you not know the definition of lost?” Will asked.

"Doesn't mean it's not freaky." Quoth muttered.

"Will, do everyone a favor and stop commenting on the situation. And you do have a brother. You forgot him." Death said. "How could I forget him?" Susan shouted. "How could I forget my own brother?"

“Because you-okay Sir, you’re right. I’ll shut up now.” Will said, curling himself into a ball.

"Okay, listen. I don't know who you are. You say you're Death, but why would you entrust someone mortal to take the job? Answer me that." she said critically.

Death stared at Susan critically, as if that was a stupid and pointless question. "Why do you think I would have chosen you?" he asked her.

Will mumbled random words under his breath as he rolled around.

"I don't think the undead bloke is okay." Quoth whispered loudly to Susan.

"Listen, I don't care for riddles. Go. Away. Now." Susan demanded.

"This is not a riddle." Death said. "Well, I'm not doing anything. Go save Hogswatch yourself." Susan said

“Wow, Susan, rude much?” Will muttered under his breath.

"I don't give a damn about rudeness." she said to Will "Why me? Seriously, tell me why and I'll think about it."

“Don’t you know why you have your supernatural abilities?”

"No, I don't know! I'm just a freak, nothing else, and I don't use the powers I have anyways. I want to know, of course, but as if you could tell me!"

“I could… but you wouldn’t believe me.” Will sighed, shaking his head sadly.

"She should know." Death said. "Know what?" Susan asked. "Know what?" she repeated, in The Voice.

“That vanilla is better than chocolate.” Will blurted.

Quoth nodded. "Dead boy actually has a brain."

"Tell her what she really needs to know." Death said with an implied glare. "TELL ME WHAT?" Susan screamed.

“Oh right, got distracted. You’re Death’s granddaughter.”

"WAIT WHAT?!" Quoth squawked. "HOW DOES THAT WORK?! HOW DO YOU FRICKLE FRACKLE WITH DEATH?!"

“Death adopted a daughter.”

"Oh. Well that makes sense too."

"As if! That's not possible. Tell me it isn't possible!" Susan said. "It isn't possible. But by saying this, I am lying." Death said. "Oh, well that does a load of good! It's impossible though. A skeleton for a grandfather? A walking, talking skeleton? Absolutely not." she said.