God, neither do I, He thought to himself, at a loss for words. Jude bit his lip, the quietness of the apartment only adding to the pained intensity between the two of them. "Murder," He said after a long moment.
"Why?" he asked quietly, picking at a thread on his pants. "Just because…" Just because people love differently?
"Yeah," Jude said, barely a whisper, "Just because." Because it's wrong, and shouldn't even be a thing in the first place, He'd been told, People shouldn't be happy knowing they're like that.
Nyx looked small and lost, looking at Jude and chewing on his lip. "But…" He trailed off, not knowing what to say. This isn't what I expected. I thought…I thought all the problems were "over there", like the scientists said. That's what I was created for. I thought…I thought it was supposed to be perfect here.
"I'm sorry," Jude said quietly, taking Nyx's hand in his and frowning softly, "I didn't– I don't want to upset you. It's rough, and we've got a long way to go in terms of acceptance. I'm sorry."
Nyx chewed on his lip, studying Jude. "It's okay." He said softly. He leaned his forehead against Jude's shoulder. "It's okay."
"It's not okay," Jude shook his head softly, quietly running a hand through Nyx's hair and sighing, "It's not okay, and I know that it's not my fault, even though it feels like it, but I'm sorry that you'll have to live knowing the world is like that."
"I would have found out eventually." He replied softly. "It's not your fault. I just…" He trailed off. "The scientists always made it sound like all the problems were "over there". Somewhere else. Like this place was perfect."
"Why? To justify their imperialism?" Jude chuckled dryly, almost cringing at the mention of them, "This place is far from perfect, I'll tell you that. I mean– there isn't a perfect place on Earth…except maybe this one bookstore in Italy– but you know what I mean."
Nyx studied Jude for a moment, then closed his eyes, leaning his face into the crook of the other male's neck. "Okay." He said softly. "I just…I…"
Jude smiled at the brush of Nyx's eyelashes on his skin, almost forgetting the annoyance he felt towards the rest of the world, "–don't know?" He suggested.
Nyx nodded a little. "Yeah." He agreed softly, snuggling closer to Jude and curling up against the taller male.
"Hm," Jude sighed, relaxing his jaw and lazily tilting his head back onto the couch cushions. "I think you'd like Italy," He said out of the blue, thinking about his travels overseas.
Nyx opened his eyes, shifting to look up at Jude. "Hm?" he asked, raising his eyebrows curiously.
"Italy. I think you'd like it there." He smiled, "At least– the parts that I got to see. I stayed in this villa with the owners in this little rural town somewhere in Lombardy, which is a northern region. It was probably the calmest I'd felt in my whole life."
He nodded a little bit. "Hm. Sounds pretty." he replied with a small smile, staying snuggled up to Jude, inhaling the taller male's scent.
"It was," Jude sighed, "God– It was so pretty. All-day, I'd just wander around, sipping coffee, buying old books, finding secret spots in the countryside, reading, swimming, meeting all these people…hm," He said with a fanciful look in his eyes.
He smiled again, listening to Jude's description. "That…sounds really great." he agreed quietly, leaning his face into the crook of Jude's neck again, feeling Jude's skin on his face, his lips, his nose, his mouth.
"…Yeah," Jude sighed, twisting to see Nyx's content expression in his peripheral. "Hmm," He smiled, "You comfy there or somethin'?"
Nyx squirmed closer. "Yes." he replied, voice slightly muffled.
Jude let out a soft laugh, his cheeks warm with quiet adoration. "I wanna say we should start dinner soon, but I don't want to move," He sighed.
He let out a faint laugh that trailed into a hum. "Alright." he said softly, still nestled into Jude's side.
"Just a minute more," He sighed, softening his shoulders and closing his eyes for a moment, tilting his head to the side.
"Mhmm." He replied softly, still nestled into Jude with his face pressed to Jude's neck.
After a passing moment, Jude sighed and cleared his throat, quietly groaning as he reluctantly stretched in his comfortable seat, "It's almost six already."
Nyx smiled a little bit. "Mhm." He replied again. He stayed pressed into Jude's side. "You're comfy."
"Noted." Jude smiled, taking a long breath and glancing at Nyx in his peripheral, "You wanna pick a record to listen to while we cook?"
Nyx opened his eyes, tilting his head to look up at Jude. "Mm. Sure." He replied.
"That shelf over there," Jude sighed happily, loosely gesturing at the tightly packed rows of records next to a bookshelf.
Nyx sighed. "But I don't wanna get off." He pouted, snuggling closer.
