Carter slowly woke, smiling as his eyes cracked open. “Mmm, hello love… How are you feeling?” He murmured softly, happily snuggling even closer to Arria.
“Better… thank you.” Arria replied quietly, hiding his face in Carter’s chest, “H-How are you doing?”
Carter smiled softly, running his hand in Arria’s hair, and instead of answering Arria’s question he asked softly, “Have you seen my tail yet?”
“Why would…” Arria lofted his head and looked down at Carter's tail, gasping softly when he saw it wasn’t missing half a fin, “H-How did? Wh-what…?” He looked up at Carter wide eyed.
“Janie introduced me to Ker, who knew how to grow limbs back. So I went out while you were resting,” Carter smiled, eyes twinkling as he added jokingly, “I won’t be much of an anchor anymore.”
"Oh Carter you were never an anchor in the first place," Arria attacked him in a huge hug even though he knew he should be more careful because of his injuries, "I'm so happy for you."
Carter smiled, joy lighting up in his heart. He tucked his head in Arria’s shoulder, smiling onto his love’s skin. “I love you. So much.” Arria was… perfect. Absolutely perfect. Something still nagged at him though. “Arria…” Carter couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not while they were so happy.
"Yes?" Arria pulled back a little to look at Carter's face, tilting his head to the side. He didn't like that tone, something about it made him worry.
“It’s nothing, really.” Carter said softly, forcing a smile. I’ll tell Arria later, when he recovers, Carter told himself silently. “You should be resting anyways.”
Arria frowned, though it was more of a pout then anything, “Carter what’s wrong?” He asked, worry clouding his features.
Carter’s heart melted a little bit. “Gah why do you have to be so darn cute?” Carter shook his head, silently wishing he could just change the topic. He tried to come up with a half baked lie, hating every word as he said it, “I’m just worried, is all. I’m ready to go back home, you know?” Carter couldn’t bear to tell Arria the full truth yet. He didn’t even know how to tell him. And how it broke every bit of his heart.
Arria blinked once, looking away, “Right… yeah… that makes sense…” He mumbled. Something was wrong and he knew it, what made it worse was that Carter wasn’t even telling him. But he didn’t ask, even though he wanted to.
Carter bit his lip, a huge part of him wanting to just tell Arria what was bothering him so much right now. But the other small part of him knew what would happen, and how much harder it would be for Carter. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before softly whispering, “I really really really love you, Arria.”
Arria still didn’t look back to Carter, shaking his head just a little, “Then why lie to me about the real reason about what’s bothering you?” He couldn’t help it, he had to know.
Carter turned red. Of course Arria could see right through him. “I…” He bit his lip, before making himself continue, “Because I know what you’ll say, and then I’ll listen to you and-“ Tears began forming in Carter’s eyes, which he quickly tried to wipe away. He opened his mouth to finish the sentence, but no words came out.
Arria’s heart broke slightly when he looked back to Carter, wiping away one of his tears, “Carter please, please just tell me,” He begged quietly, “You know I’m not going to hate you for whatever you’re going to say…”
“I-I know,” Carter managed to get out, his tears beginning to cascade out of his eyes. He furiously wiped them away. “I-I- I don’t want- I don’t want- want you to- to- t-to get hurt because of- be-because of me anymore, a-and-“ Carter dissolved into a mess of sobs quicker than he could stop himself. He pressed his face into his hands, trying to gather the strength to say the rest.
Arria wrapped his arms around Carter’s neck, shushing him softly, “Hey, hey I need you to breathe for me love, you’re okay, it’s okay.” He ran a hand through his hair gently.
Carter took a few seconds to take a few deeps breaths, then tried again, “F-First it was the crazy lady, and then I couldn’t swim fast enough or get to y-you fast enough when Y-Yu- th-the prince’s guards attacked, and- y-ou could’ve died.” Carter wiped at his tears again, “A-And it would’ve been m-my fault.” His voice broke on the word ‘fault’. His voice turned into a whisper when he continued, “S-So I-I- What if I- if I l-left? Thenyoucan’tgethurtbecauseofmeanymoreandyoucouldforgetaboutmeandbehappy-“ Carter cried, once again dissolving into tears. Because if he left, Arria could be safe. Because maybe humans and merpeople weren’t supposed to fall in love. Despite every bone in his body, deep down he felt like his had to leave for Arria to be truly safe.
Arria took a minute to process everything Carter had said, mind going a million miles an hour before he said, “You’re the biggest idiot I know Carter. You do know that, right?” He sighed, shaking his head, “None of what has happened has been your fault. And I swear on the seven seas if you so much as think that it is again I won’t hesitate to back hand you across the face.”
Arria kissed him softly, using the pad of his thumbs to wipe away more of Carter’s tears, “I’ve nearly lost you too many times already, I’ll be damned if I lose you again.” He whispered, “I love you too much.”
Carter couldn’t help himself, he pressed his face into Arria’s soft, warm chest and gave in. He loved him. He loved Arria so damn much. “I love you too.” Carter said onto Arria’s chest, hugging him tighter. He couldn’t even bear the thought of leaving Arria anymore. “I-I don’t think I could even l-live without you,” He confessed, his tear finally beginning to slow as he held onto Arria like holding on to life.
Arria snuggled into Carter, holding him just as tight, “Me neither.” He rested his chin on top of Carter’s head, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. He couldn’t lose Carter, not now and not ever, he wouldn’t allow it. He loved him so much he knew he’d be heartbroken if he left. He tried to clear his head of those thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” Carter whispered, relaxing more in Arria’s arms. He loved Arria more than he liked to breathe. “I’m sorry for lying to you.” He knew Arria would convince him not to leave. He was glad of it.
Arria sighed softly, “I forgive you.” He replied. He could never be mad at Carter, it was impossible to be.
Carter smiled onto Arria’s chest, “What would I have done without you?” He closed his eyes, sniffling just a little bit still. “I may be a bit of an idiot, but I’m your idiot.” Carter let out a quiet laugh, snuggling close so he could listen to Arria’s heartbeat.
Arria shrugged a shoulder, rubbing his fingers through Carter’s hair. He knew he couldn’t do it for much longer, the movement hurting his arms, “No idea… but you are definitely my idiot.”
“Thank you Arria… For being you. I love you,” Carter told Arria, sleep already dragging at him once again, “but we should really get some rest… Especially you.”
“I’m fine…” Arria mumbled, even though it was an obvious lie. He snuggled more into Carter, stifling a yawn.
Carter smiled at him, knowing that it couldn’t possibly be the case but he said anyways, “Whatever you say love,” He curled his arms around Arria so they could get comfortable enough to be able sleep, before leaning in to give him a soft little good night kiss.
Arria already had his eyes closed when he lazily kissed Carter back, half asleep already. He snuggled his face into Carter's chest, sighing softly as sleep overwhelmed him easily and very quickly.
