Pretty damn boring and confusing; honestly kinda sucks at times but then again, some good people are all it takes to make me change my mind about it; sacrifice a whole world to save one angel.

Non-Fiction?

I'm not a goddamn history book, so I'll sum it up for you. Alright, so in the beginning, there was just a bunch of dust in the universe. Let's call it space dust. This space dust accumulated until it had so much mass, so much gravity, that it was basically just pulling everything around it. Now, all these meteors with all their friction striking the Earth constantly meant that it was a star-forsaken wasteland. Basically, it sucked. But eventually, the Earth began to cool down, and all the water that was carried from the meteorites began pooling to create lakes and oceans. Fast forward a few millennia, and WOW WE'VE GOT DINOSAURS. They lasted for... a bunch of years. Several millennia. A lot of time. Then came the Ice Age, where we introduced a whole new slew of animals. It was around this time when humans started popping up. Supposedly, we evolved from monkeys, but if we had, then monkeys wouldn't exist because THAT'S HOW EVOLUTION WORKS. But anyway, whether by magic or evolution or just straight-up willpower, humans started popping up. For a while, we just kinda chilled in Africa. These ancient people, who are called the caveman, but MOST LIKELY DID NOT ACTUALLY LIVE IN CAVES BECAUSE OF NATURAL DANGERS. So, I'm going to call them the Hutwomen because I'm an anarchistic bitch. But I digress. So, the Hutwomen chilled in Africa for a couple thousand years, before (140,000 years later) discovering land bridges leading to other countries and going all over the place using them. This was about 60,000 years ago, whereas the Earth was created some 4 billion years ago. Let that sink in. So, the humans moved all over the place: Asia, Europe, America, South America, Australia. If you were to look at a map that told you where humans moved, it would vaguely resemble a spider. We went ALL OVER, developing our own languages, our own cultures, our own theories (like Christianity, Buddhism, the Greek gods, etc.). It was a lot like today, actually, but without the technology, so it was a lot more difficult to spread the messages. Fast-forward a couple thousand years, and hey, you're looking at the time when "The Bible" took place. I'm not really into Christianity, but since the book was supposedly written a hecking long time ago, let's go. It took place in the Middle East, and, well... as you can probably tell, I'm not one for going into great detail, so: there were droughts and storms and floods (supposedly, although the theory of Noah's Ark doesn't make sense, since one man and his extended family couldn't produce enough people to populate a planet), as per usual. Fast-forward another couple thousand years, and hey! Romans! The romans were a very interesting society. They were actually very advanced for their time period, what with aqueducts, outstanding architecture, philosophy, theater. It was a great time. (I must mention that not all of this was Roman; the Greeks did a lot of philosophy and theater, too). Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, vikings were pillaging and sailing and exploring. Yay, ancestors! Fast forward again, and now we have monarchies as a popular choice of government. Cabbages and Kings - ahem, I mean - Queens and Kings, Princes and Princesses. Forced marriages, unnecessary wars, and the like. And now, because I'm an American (yay america, i guess??), I will move on to American history, because that's the only thing they teach us in our schools. So, it was around 1492 when (ugh) Columbus came to America. I just want to make it clear that Columbus did not "discover" America. Half a millenium before him, a viking fleet lead by Leif Eriksson were likely the first European feet to ever touch American soil. Basically, all Columbus did was pillage, rape, kill, spread diseases that the natives weren't prepared for, therefore causing epidemics, and then tell his queen of his amazing discovery and take all the credit. So, yeah, that happened. From there, Europe quickly began to explore America more so than ever before. Since I've fast-forwarded through millennium, don't expect me not to do that now, even in a time period I know more about. Okay, maybe not millennium, but a lot of years. So, skip ahead a few thousand years and the Europeans have successfully forced the natives out of their homelands and into territory previously unknown to them. They've colonized a few places, eventually reaching up to 13 states. After a while, the colonists got tired of still being bossed around by the British so they were like "yeah, how bout nope" and BAM revolutionary war. America eventually won the war (COUGH HAMILTON COUGH) in 1783. There were a bunch of wars after that. The civil war was the war that took the most American lives in history, and while it was mainly caused by dissention over slavery, that wasn't the entire reason. The civil war started in 1861 and ended in 1865. It was a considerably short war, compared to others like the Revolutionary. Skippity doo-da on up a few years, and VOILA! 1900. The 1900s were not the best time period, but I certainly wouldn't say they were the worst. What with WWI starting in 1914, a lot of men were sent off to war, which was about the time that women began to gain the faintest idea of oh hey, maybe I don't have to be an air-headed cleaning machine and VOILA the woman's rights movements started. WWI ended in 1918, an awfully short time to be at war, if you ask me. And then, then, then, then, we get into the Roaring 20s. Not gonna lie, the Roaring 20s were hella cool. Many women started wearing "flapper dresses" and we ascended into the jazz age.All this was grand until we hit 1929; The Great Depression. The Great Depression triggered a whole lotta shit. Hoovervilles started cropping up all over the place, and many Americans lost their money and fell into debt. Then came 1939. This year was both when the Great Depression ended - and where WWII began. Not gonna lie, WWII scares me. They introduces all kinds of new weapons. Bombs, guns, planes, you name it, they make it worse. It eventually ended in 1945. The 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s were pretty chill. Of course, after WWII, all the surviving soldiers came back from the war and everyone wanted to have sex, all at once. And that is why people born in the 50s are called "Baby Boomers." Because the amount of babies being produced just went KABOOM. Besides the strange (and sometimes just straight-up god-awful) fashion choices of the 60s, 70s, and 80s, not much happened in America during that time. Fast forward just a few years, and SHABLAM we're here. Unless you're a time traveller from the past, you pretty much know what's happening these days. The abundant access to social media has produced internet trolls and generally just jerkwads. But, to be fair, there are also a lot of good people who are just trying their best to fit in. Anyway, thanks for reading my Recap of History. Hope you have a nice day!

Ok, I'll put whatever comes out of the top of my head:

1. What goes up must come down


2. What is put into motion stays in motion unless stopped by another force


3. Friction. I don't even know what it is about it, but. Friction.

Most people don't believe in magic here. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but if it does, it is few and far between.

You know, cell phones, cars, compoopers, the like.

Eh. I think I've said all that needs to be said, but although Earth can suck sometimes, it has a lot of good people who do things, and a lot of beautiful places, and honestly, although humans don't deserve Earth, it's a nice place to live.