Notebook.ai

Critique needed on my fourth-wall-breaking story.

Deleted user forum 14 comments schedule
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Deleted user

I have thought about this idea for a long time and now decided to flesh it out in digital text. I will spare you the details and context as I don't want anyone stealing my ideas:

A mysterious traveler goes from world to world recording information. He eventually goes to a world that through better context, revealed one's true purpose. The traveler, out of curiosity, tried this and becomes mentally insane. He becomes aware that he is a character made up in a fictional story and that his purpose is to be a protagonist. The reader wouldn't know this happened at first, since the character is heavily controlled by the plot and his written dialogue. But he manages to alter a few details and sentences that might set the reader off and question the story's continuity. The plot goes on like nothing happened, and the traveler encounters a deadly foe who eats worlds, so he calls help from other worlds to defeat it. Eventually the alterations become more intense and noticeable that the traveler is able to directly speak to the reader. He begs the reader to get him out of the book so he can experience the real life. He then realizes that it simply isn’t possible and resorts to ending his misery by taking his own life.

@TryToDoItWrite

Woah…that's insane! I'd love to read something like that!

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Deleted user

@TryToDoItWrite Thanks!

person_off
Deleted user

Feel free–if not obligated–to give me truthful critique on my idea.

@TryToDoItWrite

ah…i have a really hard time critiquing ideas because so often ideas are as good or bad as you the writer make them with your plot, characters, style, etc so i'd say go for it and i'd be happy to critique specific excerpt! But im being truthful when i say that this idea has an intriguing premise and lots of promise ^-^

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Deleted user

I see what you mean. Thank you for the insight nonetheless!

So he's got limited fourth wall breaking, but instead of a power, it's a curse. Nice. And the plot and universe sound awesome too! All in all enticing.

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Deleted user

Thank you!

@Masterkey

That sounds so interesting, if you can pull it off WELL DONE

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Deleted user

That sounds fantastic!

@WriteOutofTime

WHOAAA that sounds like something I would read. If you can pull it off, I think it'll be excellent. I'd read it and immediately spiral into existential doubt lol. Cool idea!

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Deleted user

Let me know when you publish I would read that!

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Deleted user

Aw shucks

@Lili B

THAT'S AWESOME!! If you end up writing it, please send it to me, because I would love to read it!