In the mood to critique your characters! (Closed)

@valerie!
Her personality and flaws looks a lot better! Good job! ^^

@LilMeme Yes, I saw your reply!

Sure, I'll take a look at his pf!
First thing I noticed is that his quirks (which i'm assuming is just replacing mannerisms) is very bare! He only has 3, most people have tons and tons of them! So I say list a couple more at least.
Another thing, on his talents 'healing' is listed, does this mean like healing magic? And is it just used for himself or for others too?
One thing you might should do is explain why his favorites are all his favorites! Why does he like ice cream so much? Whats so special about the outdoors to him? And also explain why his his dislikes are his dislikes as well!
Well that's about it! I looked at kage again and he looks better!

(Sure ^^, its just closed for a bit until I get some more free time to do these!)

@JumboJimbo2020 Sure! I'll take a look at them!

Alright, i'll start with her looks first!
I think maybe being a more descriptive and specific with some parts of it! Like with her skin tone for example; "Pale" can actually mean a lot of things! Saying something like "porcelain" or "Fair" is a lot more descriptive and easier to let people (and yourself) know what you mean! Same thing for her hair color.
I think you can give her a few more mannerisms! The two she has are good! But most people have tons and tons of them in real life, so it only makes sense if a character has a lot too! What does she do when shes angry? Does she roll her eyes? Maybe slouch and fold her arms? What about when shes excited? Does she gasp? Do her eyes grow wide?! How about posture? And the way she sits? Those are just examples! I'd say give her at least four or five more.
Shes got to have more talents than that! They don't have to be super big and dramatic talents (like her ice skating), but they can be simple things like "can beat every rp game she plays" or "can make really good and realistic costumes" etc. I'd say give her a few more of those as well!
Maybe you can try and explain why her favorites are her favorites? Why does she like those dice so much? Whats so special to her about leaf green?
Other than those things, she seems really good! I love her personality, she seems so cute lol.
Good luck!~

@the-boy-with-earphones
I’ve opened it again! ^^

Here's Alice for when you have time

@the-boy-with-earphones
Of course! Also, sorry for taking so long, i've been at school all day lol
We'll start with his looks first!
I usually don't focus much on the looks since people like to do it their own way, but we'll go through it quickly.
So for the most part it seems pretty good! Maybe the only thing you might can do is explain where he got his scar on his eyebrow from and explain his body type more! Like, is he a mesomorph, ectomorph, rectangular, triangular, etc.
I think you can give him a few more mannerisms! Mannerisms are something that really help make characters feel human. The one he has right now is good, but most people have many, many mannerisms! What does he do when hes nervous? Happy? Angry? Whats his posture like? How does he keep himself? Theres tons of different things that you can put! I'd say put 4-5 more in there!
I have the same thing to say about his flaws. Most people have wayyyy more than 2 flaws! Flaws are what help draw the connection between the character and the reader! and also don't make them seem like marry sues lmao. So Give him a few more!
His prejudices are good and so are his talents and hobbies!
I just finished reading his personality and he has no good personality traits listed! They're all kind of flaws (which you could list in the flaws section)! If his personality is entirely flaws, that can make him seem annoying and actually push the reader away from connecting with the character! Give him some good traits! Maybe hes intelligent, or responsible, or honest! I don't know, but you do! :)
His background is okay, but I think you can explain it a bit more! Why did his parents divorce and how did he feel about it? What was his grades like in school? Did he have many friends? I think you can go a bit more in depth with that.
Thats about all I have! Good luck!

@OppyIsRunningOutOfGoodIdeas
Ok, i'll take a look at her, but her profile seems to be on private. If you turn it to public i'll be able to see her!

Tysm!

No problem!~

@OppyIsRunningOutOfGoodIdeas
Ok, i'll take a look at her, but her profile seems to be on private. If you turn it to public i'll be able to see her!

Oh yeah, that's right, forgot I did that. Anyways, it should be fixed now. Thanks in advance :)

@OppyIsRunningOutOfGoodIdeas
Awesome! Thanks! I’ll take a look at her.
Also, sorry I’m being super slow with some of these guys! Schools kicking my butt

First her looks!
So she seems pretty good in that area for the most part! One thing I did notice is that she is a bit under weight. Someone her height and age should be in the 120 lbs at least! Not sure if you were aware or not? It just letting you know!
Another thing, in her hair style, you explained what her hair was like, but not necessarily the style. Is it wavy? Straight? Course? Frizzy? Does she keep it down all the time? Does she have any bangs? Those are some things that you could put!
In her facial features you could also explain how she got her scars. You explain her ear scars but not the one under her eye.
In her body type, one thing that I like to do, is explain my characters actually body type. Is she a mesomorph? Endomorph? Is her body rectangular? Hour-glass? Pear? It really just helps me picture them better!
Ok! Onto the rest of her now lol
Her motivations are pretty good! They’re very nicely fleshed our! But I think you can give her some more, but about other things. What does she do when she’s angry? Roll her eyes, avoid eye contact, pout? What about when she’s excited? Can she just not sit still? Do her eyes fly about? Or what’s her posture like and how does she keep herself? Those are just suggestions, but those are the types of mannerisms that actually really help other understand just what you’re character is like!
Her flaws are pretty good as wel! But I think you can give her some more of these too lol. She only has three! Most people have tons and tons (but of course, too many in a character is just as bad as not enough right?). Flaws are what make characters feel human! They’re what make the readers feel a connection with the character and want to root for them! So give her more! Maybe she’s indecisive, or maybe she’s controlling, perhaps she’s a perfectionist! I don’t know! But you do, so I’m sure you can figure some more out!
I think you can throw in a few more hobbies as well. What is something she does when she’s bored? Hobbies don’t have to be something huge and big! They can be small things like skipping rocks or star gazing!
In her social category, maybe you can explain why her favorites are her favorites! What stands out her about Chinese food? Why did she like that shade of green so much?
Her background is very nice and fleshed our! Good job, it took me a while to read lol.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got! I really like Alice, I can tell you put a lot of though and effort into her, good luck!

@LilMeme haha, alright!

Ok, first his looks!
So his hair is short, but how short? To the behind of his neck? His ears? Is it buzzed? Be specific!
Where are his tan lines as well! Does he have a farmers tan? Does he have them on his legs?
Again, I see you skipped mannerisms, but put a quirks section instead, which is basically mannerisms. He only has two! Most people have tons and tons of mannerisms, so give him some more! How does he act when he’s nervous? Happy? When he flirts? Etc.
So his personality doesn’t have many good qualities, which we don’t want. If characters personalities are purely negative, then they can end up coming if as annoying and a damsel in distress! Which we don’t want. So I’d give him some more positive traits if I were you.
Maybe you can explain why his favorites and likes and dislikes are those things! Why does he like pocky so much? What exactly does he hate about frogs and blood?
Oh wow, his background is… interesting lol.
Again, there’s a lot of grammar and spelling problems so it’s hard to read. In would try and go back and fix them to make it easier.

That’s all! Good luck!

Can you do my pony character?

I know I'm a little late to respond (whoops) but I'm taking into consideration a lot of what you said and I'm making some changes to Alice. Thank you for helping, I really appreciate it.

Henlo again o/
i return with an elf child this time qvq. Pls roast him

If you have the time would you be able to take a look at my girl, Ashlinn? This is the first non full human character I have created so any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a bunch!

Do my character next!

@KHS-SunGod-The-Charger Sure!
His looks are pretty good! So good job on that haha
Ahaha, his personality made me laugh lol, I love it!\
I don't know a lot about horses (which is surprising considering i'm around them all day), but from what I read, he seems great! I like his personality a lot and the way he acts, its super funny.
Sorry I don't have much criticism to give you haha, good luck!

@the-boy-with-earphones
He looks a lot better! Good job! I can't find much wrong with him haha

Oh, tysm!!! I'm glad he was entertaining to read xD
Thanks again! ^^

@Kinarymo ahh, sure!
Wow, your characters are too good for my critiquing xD. I couldn’t find really any problems with him!
One thing I would say is changing his prejudices a bit, most people have prejudices even if they’re the kindest and most thoughtful people on the planet. It doesn’t have to be against just people, it can be objects, a group, words, Anything! So I’d say giving him one or two prejudices against anything.
And also, explaining his favorites! Why does he like sharks and snakes? What is it about strawberry cheesecake that makes him love it?
Other than that I think he’s great! Well done!

My boy Dashan might be cool to critique! Feel free to go at him!