In Which I Talk of My Relations with A Mans

Because I simply do not believe there is anything watching us. But the name of atheism is kind of fucked, considering you associate atheists with those screaming middle aged men who think god isn’t real because their life is such shit, you know? I simply just have no belief, and I don’t support a lot of things Christianity (and other religions, but Christianity is the big one) believes in. I feel like I’ve explained myself before this (like, numerous times), but if I were to say I do have religious views, it would be closer to Buddhism. I believe in rebirth and the cycle continuing, but honestly that’s about it.
If I were to eventually go to church with him (as I’ve told him), I’d go, happily, actually, and sit there in the pews and pray, but I’d simply believe it wouldn’t go anywhere. My wishes would still be genuine, just not my idea that, hey, someone’s hearing it.

Nate wasn’t that upset with it, considering we’ve known each other for a few years before we got together, but I still felt the need to explain myself. As I should, of course. He told me in exact words, “It’s not okay with my religious side, but the side that loves you says it’s okay.”

I prefer to live out of my own mind rather than something I don’t know is there.

Also people treating my ideas with such disrespect really pisses me off, ngl. You did it correctly; you asked specifically what I am and how I handled it, then gave your opinion.

People who I know irl treat it as if I have this barricade around me. As though I’m refusing to look over it because, oh, you’re atheist so you don’t want to know about other religions. Which is not the case. So whenever people act wildly surprised by me saying that I’d pick up a Bible or a Koran and read it just ends up making me really angry and feel really disrespected.

Ikr??? My dad told me in the face of no disrespect that I definitely should at least read it. And the Bible and other religious stories are mentioned all the time in literature, so there’s no reason for me not to?

Anyway today we were in a teacher’s classroom eating lunch. Nate was sitting on a desk with his legs extended over me to a table (I was sitting to his right on the floor, facing his legs), so randomly, with literally no warning, I stood on my knees and went wham right onto his legs closer to his knees, and sent him cascading.

I might’ve gotten “Geez Emi”s from my friends and a suspicious look from the teacher, but hot damn it was funny as hell

ahhhh I just went over to his house for the first time

His family was as huggable and nice as he was. Got to formally meet his dad and have a conversation with his grandmother, and see bits of pieces of his mother. I also had a cookie and they got me burger king.

But the main attraction??

Spending time upstairs alone with him in his room??

Aahhjkmmskkkkslii i’m a puddle again

he just doesn’t stop making me laugh and smile and i had such a good time

it was exactly what i needed after this rough week and it still feels like a dream, all of the physical contact and how much we laughed and just spent time together juiejejmek

Allow me to revive this with something he’s said to me on multiple occasions:

“How is your skin so s of t?”

Most of the time my response is, “Gurl i dunno. I shower and stuff.”

I was thinking about it, now you’re sharing the same thinks as me

i also drew something for him and I feel like I lost a piece of my soul because of it

I asked him what I should draw because I was really quite bored, and the first thing he said was a Chinese dragon. The second was a physical manifestation of depression.

he wasn’t having a great night last night…

So I drew the former.

i sent it to him and he didn’t say anything back so that’s scary

This stupid idiot complaining about his middle name

Lardizabal

He made some of our friends say it for the first time.

Take a moment in your head to pronounce that.

If you pronounced it like “Laurizable”, he’d kill you.

It’s pronounced “exactly how it’s spelled” and went on a whole rant about it

I mean I was one of the few where he said it before I had to say it, and I’m obviously educated in the English language, so a year or so ago when I figured his middle name, it’s not a trouble for me now.

Anyway I shut him down by erasing his name off of the board he angrily wrote it on and said, “No one cares, Nate, stop complaining”

and yeah that’s that

oh I’m going over to his house again on Saturday to stargaze and that’s pretty exciting!

I’ll bring back stories if I can

he might kill me idk lmao

Nate: Complimenting my voice and how it’s putting him at peace and almost putting him to sleep

Emi: I don’t want you to >:0

I forgot to add to this due to everything, but I remembered like, just a few minutes ago.

So the eight hours of just unsolicited, unfiltered Nate went like this:

• One of my handmade bracelets broke because he got me into a physical fucking fight with him
• In the said fight, he almost burst my lip and gave me several bruises on my right arm. Which wasn’t even the arm he was targeting, so I don’t know how that happened. He attacked mostly my face and nose. This nunc. I swear.
• Meanwhile I struck him repeatedly in the sides and closer to his neck with more force, just less often, so he got away unscathed.
• He made a horrible joke about bloodshed that I’m not even going to repeat here, and I made him feel shame for everything he did to me in that fight.
• He took these two videos of my extremely dramatic breakdown over Bernie Sanders and him winning Nevada
  (First few minutes of the breakdown)
  
  (After seeing the absolute mindblowing, pushing over the edge “🔥Boomers for Bernie2020🔥” written unironically in the stream chat during Bernie’s winning speech)
  
  (My brain literally had no idea how to handle it)
• After that we went outside for stargazing after another physical few moments of mental breakdown and sobbing from yours truly.
• I sung to him for the first time, or as I called it, serenaded him.
• and we cuddled a lot so that was fun

thanks baby

lmao no i haven’t, and now I’m glad I have lmaoo

Nate loves Bloomberg so I’ll have to share this with him

Anyway some stuff happened but it’s as cool as it can get so let me inform you on the fact that I like Nate’s handwriting a lot.

But he refuses to accept it, and instead compliments my handwriting, like did I ask, no, sir, I did not

He refused to write me a Valentine’s day card lmfao because I told him I’d put it on my wall of Art (even though he did the same thing with the cards I wrote for him)

well he might, but it’d be a little late

that’s about it

Lmao I say the same thing. It’s like someone’s voice, you know? It’s something so far out that you can never focus on until it comes up.

Nate describes my voice as melodic and my handwriting elegant, even though he’s not really the type to see things like that.

I’m more spacey and I prefer to see smaller details in people. How Nate does his nines like circle then line like a barbarian, and how he struggles to say emphasis because of a weird speech thing he has.

it tells you so much about people and helps you fall in love with the person they are inside. It’s just natural things that they can’t control.

My dumb right-side brain just blurts out things about him lol

I’m sure if Nate used the site as much as I did, then discovered this thread, like, he’d just be annoyed and get jokingly angry about it

But, hey you know, he’s not perfect but he’s still a ray of sunshine :p

I bet you’d like him, Dom, if you could talk to him more.

_{I’m going to stalk this as a friend, totally no other somewhat creepy reason.}