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"I may have eaten the stick it came with"
Out of Context
A random guy: Do you like rap?
Me: Um… Yeah!
The guy: Oh, cool. Like Eminem?
Me: Looks him dead in the eyes and starts playing the Belos Theme Song Takeover
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"pOtAtO."
"Oh my gah, he's bleeding blood!"
"They look each other in the eyes. Their eyes lock. 👏 And then things happen. 👏 And something happens with Michelle. 👏 And then they [INCOHERENT] 👏 and… yeah. That's how the story works! yeah."
"and then he FRICKIN' dies."
"I am going to YEET you into another DiMeNsiOn!"
(I've said these at least once in my life, lol.)
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Violas: “We don’t have to play here. We can make a sandwich, read a book, have grandchildren, then we play again!”
“The MLA sounds like a jerk.” “Trust me, they are.”
“1934? That sounds just like the year my Grandpa was born!’
“What does Professor Shawty teach?” “An introduction to learning!”
“Uncle Robbie told me that Kim Kardashian is the reason turtles are dying!”
“IT WAS SO DUMB! SHE STUCK A BATTERY UP MY BUTT AND TOLD ME ‘I GOT THE POWER!’”
“You’re weird in a bad way.” “I’ll take that as a compliment.” “You’re weird in a good way.” “I’ll also take that as a compliment.” “You’re not weird.” “YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSULTS!”
“I’m a male version of Odin!” “ODIN IS MALE.”
“Yeah, actually. He played bass in his college band.” “WHAT? THATS ILLEGAL.”
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“What are you gonna do if I don’t?” “I don’t know, like, kill you or something, I guess”
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"You're so goaded. THANK YOU TY. SHAKE MY HAND!"
"I am not that kind of friend."
"Shut your bitch baby ass up, elephant boy before I smack your trunk off and smack you upside the head with it."
"They don't call me an abomination of nature for nothing."
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"BLUEY!!!"
"BLUEY!!!"
"But I don't want a meaningful life lesson! I just want ice cream!"
"I bought a game new, but the heroines were second hand. I want my money back."
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Bill Gates lays egg sacs in his backyard!
language
"What to expect when you're expecting: Bill Gate's guide to pregnancy!"
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"Do you lay egg sacs? Us too! Bill Gates' guide to laying egg sacs in your very own backyard!"
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“My m&msssss”
“What?”
“My m&msssss! I’m taking my children!”
“Your children?”
“Yessss” disappears into room
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"… I want to die! Like Tronald Dump!"
"Stop biting your god!"
"I eat garbage very humbly."
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"I'll trade a kiss for your shoes."
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“He grabbed and pinned her to the main character of this scenario: the wall”
"This is NOT a polyamorous handshake!!"
language
“ONLY IF MY POTATO GIVES CHEESE WILL I BE FAIRLY DECENT AND NORMAL AND, LIKE, NOT DUMB.”
“MONKEY SPIDERMAN HOUSE!”
“Sam, is your full name Samantha?” “No…” “Also, your hair is very pettable.” Slowly pulls hood over head
“I’m sorry, but I can’t continue living knowing that you’re going to announce you are the embodiment of poverty in the next three minutes.”
“Wait, Jace, are you going to be the ghost of christmas past?”
“Ryland!” “What?” “Where are you going?” “…I just told you.” “YOU CAN GO NOWHERE! I OWN YOUR LEGS!!!”
“Someone asked another person if they thought elbows were sexy and they said ‘no. no they're not.’”
“I thought of a bowl, jello, and a cello, and I heard you say JelloCello and I thought of a jiggly cello.”
“Where’s the poisonous fish? Can I have a bowl?” “NEVER! I HOLD THE POWER OF POISONOUS FISHES!”
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"Are you drunk?" "Maybe…"
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"Are you drunk?" "Maybe…"
im actually the one who was possibly drunk
heehee
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“The only possible remains of him are: none.” “Fabulous.” “Or just a head.” “Oh. Less fabulous”
group
I love your eggs
group
I love your eggs
"Elder brother, I may or may not have married your ex wife"
language
"The worst curse of childkind: MAY YOUR PILLOW BE HOT ON BOTH SIDES!!!"
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"The worst curse of childkind: MAY YOUR PILLOW BE HOT ON BOTH SIDES!!!"
Is it bad that I like warm pillows
language
"The worst curse of childkind: MAY YOUR PILLOW BE HOT ON BOTH SIDES!!!"
Is it bad that I like warm pillows
I dunno
I'm just quoting some guy in my science class