Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

lmao

My friend (we'll call him M)
M: The reason I can't get a girlfriend is that I look like an edgy fuckboi.
Myself: And you act like one, too!

My friend and I are in chinese class
Teacher- says 0 in chinese and we're supposed to translate it to english
My friend- yells out 60 in english really loudly as the answer
This other boy- What? How? It's zero.
Me- laughing hysterically next to her.

I feel like i’d say something like that

Whenever someone uses M i’m just gonna think about myself so i apologize

oh my god this is my favorite. so a bit of background if y'all don't know what tutorial is it's a time period outside of class hours that students can go to the classroom of their choice and talk to the teachers, get some help, or just complete homework. this happened in math tutorial with a group of about 10 kids and a really strict teacher.
so Kid #1 has been making jokes and everyone's high-key laughing.
the teacher's getting annoyed and threatening to shut down tutorial.
one (1) Fake Girl is getting annoyed because she doesn't think its funny.
Kid #1 says, after a particularly funny joke that leaves the classroom giggling: thanks, i'm here all week!
Fake Girl says: …it's friday.
the classroom explodes with laughter and tutorial is cancelled.
it was super funny at the time but i can't remember a lot of his jokes.

Friend: What are you doing
Me, through silent spasms of laughter: Lämp.

"DONT TOUCH MY FUKING BROWINES TIMMY!" - me yelling at this dude to get away from my homemade brownies

"Is that welsh beef"
"Nick.. that's two guys fighting…"
"Like I said, beef."
"But… they aren't welsh…"
"Shhhhhhhhhhh"

"You CHEESE HEADS."

I'm a cheese head!!!

me too!
honestly i just read all of these and i sat here laughing for half an hour and couldn't stop

"hAnD OfF"
"Do you know DE WE?"
"lAMP"

"GIVE ME M FUCKING SLUSHIE CAMMILE!"

“Wait

We had a thing?”

-Me constantly

"nARUTO RUUUUNNNN"
"hOW DARE YOU ASSUME MY GENDER??"
"mARRk"
"Imaa play fortnight mobile"

"EXCUSE ME, SMALL CHILDREN, MOVE FOR THE QUEEN" - Me, running down the kindergarten halls

“Mhm hEy WYATT WHO ISN’T IN BAND” (me talking to a kid named Wyatt who is a trumpeter)
“Whaaaat?”
“Why you here?”

-Looking out the window-
"Do you think its a far enough-"
"Nope"
"But-"
"Nope"
"Would I-"
"Yep"

"I wish you knew how to count, So you could count all your double chins!"
Entire class- "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Headbanging to "Allstar" -My drama class

"I cant wait to go home… catch up on Attack on Titan and Hellsing… Those are some good animes…." -Some really emo kid at christian camp who i wish i got to know

"STOP UNTIEING MY FUCKING SHOES ADRAIN."

"I"M A ClAM HOW HARD IS THAT TO UNDERSTAND!!" You guys guess…

“Is that a knife?”
“No it’s a flute, Bill, jeezus.”

"YoU TorE tHe DinOsAuRS HeAD OfF…. HoW COuLd yOu!?"- my cross country team at practice

"oooh helloooo older middle schoolerssssss…" looks at me "And high schoolers"
me being so fucking proud of this random child

Me and my friend shooting a glance at eachother. "Weed?" At the same time.