Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Me running in front of my friend and running into him. “Skrt skrt!”

Opening a trench coat and motioning to the packets of glitter inside of the pockets. "I go the good shit."

Senior Girl: *is buying something from a vending machine in my latin classroom
My Latin Teacher: You can't do that.
Senior Girl: To late!
Senior Girl: *panics and runs away as fast as possible, crashing into walls on her way out

"Get your shoe off my head!"
"No."
"That's it, I'm calling the weed."

"It tis I, The smash goblin." Shimmies under desk and stays there for 20 minutes

"I respect that, but f*ck you."

"So the swim team is having a little party. Were gonna drink too many Capri Sun's, play some Roblox, and break some stuff."

“Don’t be a virgin!”

-Band, right now

my two friends who have high pitched crazy laughs: laughing back and forth
me: does the sign for warding off evil while walking away from them

“I strip when I get mad.”
viciously takes off shirt
“I’m pissed right now.”
-my friend while ranting to me

"I swear to god, I will paint your face with a sharpie(tm)"

“you don’t play the kazoo

you are the kazoo.”

it took me a whole minute to realize its "Petersburg"…..

lol

Trumpet: I would jump off that roof for ten bucks. points to a 3-story building
Alto sax: How about five bucks?
Trumpet: Done.
Clarinet: See kids, this is how natural selection works.

"I swear, if I hear one more yam pun I will-"
"Stop yambling."
-Kids in my English class (where there's a running joke about yams for some godforsaken reason)

xDD YESSS

ok so this weekend ruby and i went to Thunder (a middle school retreat in WA) and everyone was really tired and yesterday we were sitting on the window ledge and she just falls off of it onto the floor and lays there
someone walked by and said "did you forget to sleep last night?"

"Wow I have so much energy; who needs sleep??"
-Percussionist early in the morning after having slept for 1 hour in the past day and a half

"I'm exhausted; existence is pain; please kill me."
-Same person an hour later

And honestly, big mood.

band students in a nutshell

"now i'm going to walk everywhere with a giant rubber dome on my head…"
a kid in my science class after talking about lightning

"Slinky, much like the toy, doesn't do much, but he does bring a smile to your face when you push him down the stairs."
-Me, when talking about a kid in my Forensics class with the nickname "Slinky."

“THE POISON IS FOR SUICIDE NOT HOMICIDE!”
“SUICIDE!? THATS BAD!”
“Really a fake suicide. I just take some chocolate and go 'all better now.’”
-My drama club when we’re told to do over the top and end up screaming at each other