It’s leftover night so my siblings are all eating microwaved pancakes with chips and salsa and no one’s questioned it

American Horror Story: Leftover Night.

Why am I still laughing

(Although, BLTs with egg and avocado are a really, really tasty breakfast IMHO)

Or a nice MLT mutton lettuce and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean.

"They're so perky. I love that."

(And the tomato is ripe.)

:P To the death

NO! To the pain.

I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

It won't be the last.
To the pain means the first thing you will lose is your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrist. Next your nose.

And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

I wasn't finished!
The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Wrong! Your ears you'll keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out "Dear God, what is that thing, will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means, it means I leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

I think you're bluffing.

(Although, BLTs with egg and avocado are a really, really tasty breakfast IMHO)

Or a nice MLT mutton lettuce and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean.

"They're so perky. I love that."

(And the tomato is ripe.)

:P To the death

NO! To the pain.

I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

It won't be the last.
To the pain means the first thing you will lose is your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrist. Next your nose.

And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

I wasn't finished!
The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Wrong! Your ears you'll keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out "Dear God, what is that thing, will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means, it means I leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

I think you're bluffing.

In the wise words of me… Oof.

YOU RUINED IT

YOU RUINED IT

Roll for perception.

(Although, BLTs with egg and avocado are a really, really tasty breakfast IMHO)

Or a nice MLT mutton lettuce and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean.

"They're so perky. I love that."

(And the tomato is ripe.)

:P To the death

NO! To the pain.

I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

It won't be the last.
To the pain means the first thing you will lose is your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrist. Next your nose.

And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

I wasn't finished!
The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Wrong! Your ears you'll keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out "Dear God, what is that thing, will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means, it means I leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

I think you're bluffing.

It's possible pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable you miserable vomitous mass. I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand.

Then again.
Perhaps I have the strength after all.
Rises from the bed and holds a sword high.
Drop. Your. Sword.

Oof.

STOP RUINING IT

(Although, BLTs with egg and avocado are a really, really tasty breakfast IMHO)

Or a nice MLT mutton lettuce and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean.

"They're so perky. I love that."

(And the tomato is ripe.)

:P To the death

NO! To the pain.

I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

It won't be the last.
To the pain means the first thing you will lose is your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrist. Next your nose.

And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

I wasn't finished!
The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Wrong! Your ears you'll keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out "Dear God, what is that thing, will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means, it means I leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

I think you're bluffing.

It's possible pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable you miserable vomitous mass. I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand.

Then again.
Perhaps I have the strength after all.
Rises from the bed and holds a sword high.
Drop. Your. Sword.

Drops sword

STOP RUINING IT

RoLl fOr PeRcEpTiOn

(Although, BLTs with egg and avocado are a really, really tasty breakfast IMHO)

Or a nice MLT mutton lettuce and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean.

"They're so perky. I love that."

(And the tomato is ripe.)

:P To the death

NO! To the pain.

I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

It won't be the last.
To the pain means the first thing you will lose is your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrist. Next your nose.

And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

I wasn't finished!
The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Wrong! Your ears you'll keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out "Dear God, what is that thing, will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means, it means I leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

I think you're bluffing.

It's possible pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable you miserable vomitous mass. I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand.

Then again.
Perhaps I have the strength after all.
Rises from the bed and holds a sword high.
Drop. Your. Sword.

Drops sword

Oof

You should probably change the name of this chat, I’m 90% sure this isn’t food

yeet

STOP RUINING IT

RoLl fOr PeRcEpTiOn

Ohmygod. T_T

Literally rolled a damn six again

HAPPY CHILDREN??????

yeet

EMIIIIII THATS NOT ALLOWED BEFORE 6 PM oh wait nvm you’re fine, it’s 7 in my time zone. I’M LETTING YOU OFF WITH A WARNING

STOP RUINING IT

RoLl fOr PeRcEpTiOn

Ohmygod. T_T

Literally rolled a damn six again

An evil cackling rings through the room as Lex enters, making peace signs and wearing YOLO sunglasses.

IT’S ALMOST EIGHT O CLOCK AND YOU CAN’T WARN ME ABOUT ANYTHING CHILD

HAPPY CHILDREN??????

This is the “annoy Eris” chat now, huh…

YOU MEAN *GRANDCHILDREN??????

Well we finished, so I feel like a hardcore fan.

Please save me and start a new one form the many fandoms we share.

Gtg bbl

くそ

STOP RUINING IT

RoLl fOr PeRcEpTiOn

Ohmygod. T_T

Literally rolled a damn six again

An evil cackling rings through the room as Lex enters, making peace signs and wearing YOLO sunglasses.

Lex says nothing for a few minutes, only stares into your soul and utters one word. "Oof"

damnation

damnation

"Ahem… Oof, embrace the oof." Lex says, pushing their sunglasses to the top of their head to reveal that they had been wearing their regular glasses under them the entire time.

Eris stares Lex right in the soul and chugs and entire cup of hot, black coffee.

"Smoothies are better you uncultured swine." Lex says, snapping their fingers and an oof sweatshirt appearing.

sips my white hot cocoa with extra love, sugar, creamer, and vanilla