Notebook.ai

@Milani December 04, 2020

^^^^^

@Milani December 04, 2020

hugs xxoo .
i hope the situation gets better, so so much better. i know it will. <3

@saor_illust December 04, 2020

I wish I could physically hug you right now Iz…. Seems you could use a hug or two with everything you're dealing with. So here's a digital bear-hug from me to you!

yeah… i really could use one

thank you tho <3

@saor_illust December 04, 2020

aaa thank you isobel-
<3

@Milani December 04, 2020

aaa thank you isobel-
<3

:D

@SupernaturalSyGuyIsTIred December 04, 2020

I wish I could physically hug you right now Iz…. Seems you could use a hug or two with everything you're dealing with. So here's a digital bear-hug from me to you!

yeah… i really could use one

thank you tho <3

❤ Praying for you and your friends.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks December 04, 2020

This kid in my class taped his hands together and it was a solid 5 minutes and two pairs of scissors to free him

@Katastrophic December 04, 2020

This kid in my class taped his hands together and it was a solid 5 minutes and two pairs of scissors to free him

…how?? and why??

@SpookyScarySnoteleks December 04, 2020

This kid in my class taped his hands together and it was a solid 5 minutes and two pairs of scissors to free him

…how?? and why??

Another kid helped him and I don't know

@saor_illust December 04, 2020

just gonna casually drop this here cause itll help me feel a tiny inklingbetter to share these feelings

also some additions:
december 17th, a little under two weeks, now, huh
such a long stretch of time, seems forever away but
at the same time
in comparison to how fast these last few years seem to have flown
it's hardly any time at all

i can't feel
i cant cry
i cant anything

oh god oh god oh god i don't even want to know what ill feel on the day
the thursday after next week
or perhaps the day after?
maybe itll finally hit me then
the day after everything finally goes down

ill never be able to tell you how much you mean to me
fuck

anyways just some extra ramblings i wrote on the spot just now

@Eli_ December 04, 2020

Yo, Izzy, I may not know you at all or anything like that, but I genuinely feel for you. I may not understand the situation you're in to the T, but even so, I'm totally sending virtual hugs your way. I sincerely hope things get better.
Sorry if this comes off as a little awkward, I'm just trying my best with what I know.

@saor_illust December 04, 2020

thank you….

i have class right now but can't bring myself to open up the zoom link
i just want to sit here and cry right now agh

@Starfast December 05, 2020

Getting real sick and tired of my friends cancelling our plans on me after I had to practically jump through hoops and cancel other plans just so that I could hang out with them over discord. Like there's no reason why someone couldn't have told me that things got cancelled. They had time, and they know how to get a hold of me?? I could be over at my parents house getting caught up on my and my mom's favourite tv show. But good thing I get to spend the night alone in my apartment instead. Thanks a lot guys.

@Althalosian-is-the-father December 05, 2020

So guess who’s getting C19 tested? Ya boi. I don’t have it, but policy bc I go sniff sniff. I don’t mind. Means I can v probably hang out at the homeless shelter opening.

@saor_illust December 05, 2020

hi i fucking hate my brain.

i've gotten a decent amount of sleep tonight but my wifi was turned off this morning before i even got a chance to have a conversation so
i was going to try to sleep to pass the time
but guess what my brain wants to do?

(tw: guns, violence)

Spoiler - click to show.

I ended up having some sort of dream/nightmare/intrusive thought thing where i was just cuddling with a really good friend of mine and then all of a sudden some person (i never figured out why they were there or who they were) shows up and points a gun at my friend and i try to protect them but i only end up getting shot and being forced to try to take the gun from them and point it back at them so they get out of the house and it felt so traumatising because it was some sort of nightmare scenario that i would hate to be in and oh god i hated it so much

@Musical_Queen December 06, 2020

Today was a horrible day to get a migraine. The only plus is that there is a really slim chance I get out of church. Other than that, I have to do an essay, study for my Hamlet Final (Half the test is naming the people who said quotes), finish a math project, retake a math test, get in contact with my Links (The freshmen I have to help "Integrate" into high school), Finish a biotech study guide, do my laundry, finish 3 orders, draw a shirt design on paper, make two designs into pdfs, and maybe have time to cry before 2am. Might work on the porch so I have some motivation. I just hope this is a shorter migraine (7 hours) because I can't afford to miss school tomorrow because I need to finish a lab and give 2 presentations tomorrow. Also, that's just the stuff on my list. If my parents don't believe that I actually have a migraine then they'll make me do a bunch of chores. Wish me luck

@Althalosian-is-the-father December 06, 2020

Wish.

@saor_illust December 07, 2020

hi i have returned

Spoiler - click to show.

Ten days, Ethan.

Ten days.

Ten days until you finally do it.

I’m not even sure why I try anymore. After all, what’d be the point? It’s not like I’ll even succeed at all in the slightest.

God, I’m gonna miss you, Ethan. You and Trina both. I’ll miss you both, so, so much.

I- I thought I was okay. Coping with everything. Until the day, the moment I stopped keeping myself busy. And then everything fell down around me. The tape I used to carefully patch myself back together last Friday? It was gone, disappeared. Like it was never there.

I just want to cry, Ethan. The tears won’t come out. I want to sob and mourn the death that hasn’t come quite yet. I want to curl up into a small ball and stop existing, and just cry for eternity.

I can’t do this anymore Ethan.
You know I care about you, right? I care about you, so, so, much. It hurts to just…
let you go like that.

It’s like I’m abandoning you.

Running away from pain to save myself, leaving you to drown in the sea we call life.
But running away? It does nothing to save me. Now here we are, both drowning.

Only you’re too far gone for me to try and save.
I get to watch hopelessly as you give up, only barely struggling anymore.

It won’t be long, now. It won’t be long until you’re completely lost. Vanished from existence. Dead, to put it simply.

Because December 17th, isn’t that far away.

「See you on the flip side」I guess.

@Cloudy_is_trying_her_best December 07, 2020

Happy vent!! I got my PSAT scores today and they're not garbage!! Especially my English score :0 Gonna share them here because I'm super proud of myself and also I feel like it's a safe thing to share

Screenshot-2020-12-07-at-4-28-43-PM

@larcenistarsonist December 07, 2020

Is it bad that I cant remember the last time I genuinely smiled

@Althalosian-is-the-father December 08, 2020

Yeah.

@moss December 08, 2020

i have 2 weeks till the semester ends and to get my grades up from Ds to at least Cs or Bs but i have absolutley no motivation and im just gettting more and more stressed without being able to do any work

@ElderGodSwimwithGamers December 08, 2020

Fucking fuck fuck fuck
I just accidently dropped by drawing tablet and the edge is fucking cracked
I'm dead
Fuck
Fuck

@moss December 08, 2020

i think i have a problem with paying attention because i literally cant watch a 10 minute video like it takes me forever

@JustALostM December 08, 2020

Fucking fuck fuck fuck
I just accidently dropped by drawing tablet and the edge is fucking cracked
I'm dead
Fuck
Fuck

:0 FLIP. NoOoOOooO

@Milani December 08, 2020

has anybody got an idea for an english project? it has to be a question related to truth; how does 'insert topic here' influence people perspectives on truth?

@ElderGodSwimwithGamers December 08, 2020

Are you good with doing a religion? Because Christianity is affected a lot of what people consider truth

@berlioz December 08, 2020

Lol Fox News

@Althalosian-is-the-father December 08, 2020

has anybody got an idea for an english project? it has to be a question related to truth; how does 'insert topic here' influence people perspectives on truth?

Subjectivity.

@Cloudy_is_trying_her_best December 08, 2020

Upbringing?

Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift