Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

I hate the orthodontist

mood

ok
therapy session over
she stuck to the depression topic and didn’t ask any scary questions so I think we’re good
breathe, ella, b r e a t h e-

That's good! I hope everything goes well <3

Sit towards the back and in an uncrowded pew, confirmations are long and they get stuffy fast.
I don't really have advice for the dress bit though, sorry :(

I didn't even go to my own confirmation, I had a panic attack and couldn't go in. I ended up just doing it privately a month later.

Ughhhh I wanna talk to people but I don't wanna actually say anything and I kind of just want to be in a cocoon of blankets with my friends talking to me and not being mad about me not answering

Mood

I fucking hate feelings. Wtf. Gross. No. Stop. You're scary and confusing and distracting. Go away.

https://www.sparknotes.com/blog/2020-summed-up-in-book-titles/

I fucking hate feelings. Wtf. Gross. No. Stop. You're scary and confusing and distracting. Go away.

Me, hiding from my fears at 2 am-

Pros of water:

• Nice
• I love boats
• Cool

Cons of water:

• Swimsuits

Seriously, it took me 45 minutes to find a swimsuit that I'd feel remotely comfortable in, and it still makes me kinda uncomfy since there's a big zipper down the front. I don't wanna go tits out while chilling on a boat, y'know?

dOM

I'd really like to wear a binder and some swim shorts when I go in water

instead I am stuck with the slightly smexy black onepiece with cutouts on the cleavage that I have

I managed to find a black one-piece with short sleeves, which I love! I always wear swim shorts with them too. I just…I don't like the idea of people looking at me while I try to swim and like, sexualizing me or something, or laughing at me because I'm fat. I don't really swim anywhere but my grandparents' house so hopefully that isn't a problem anyways, but I used to go to the public pool and I always felt uncomfortable.

lmao smol Acey-boy

Anyways THAT got too personal, I'm just a bit Annoyed since my former best friend invited my family to stay up with her extended family for a weekend (we would do that back before we sort of fell apart) but my mom had work and so we couldn't :(
She and her sister legit feel like other sisters to me, we were finally getting back in touch this quarantine and I was excited.

[insert me bringing up my oversized swimshirt and trunks because companies forget that short adult males exist]

Gasp
THE BIG SHIRT!!!

Swimsuits are gross. It's not even that they're revealing. The way they feel even underneath something? Disgostang. I don't even really like swimming but sometimes you gotta do it so you don't miss your friends hanging out without you

Swimsuits are gross. It's not even that they're revealing. The way they feel even underneath something? Disgostang. I don't even really like swimming but sometimes you gotta do it so you don't miss your friends hanging out without you

Ugh yes, and how slowly they can dry
Like, I'll be laying on a towel by my grandpa's pool and shift slightly and just feel a spot where I'm still drenched, gross I just wanted to read my mom's magazines not feel like a shrinkwrapped water balloon

Tbh my biggest issue with going swimming is that I 1) have poor vision and 2) don't have contacts, so I'd be wandering around at the pool with my friends and not be able to see half the time. Also I have really sensitive eyes (which, tbh, is probably my fault since I overwear my sunglasses and now I'm very sensitive to light) and can't wear my prescription sunglasses when going down slides and stuff, so I have to use goggles that are both unprescription and also not tinted.

Oh and also The Feet Thing but tbh I'd rather forget that that happened
I swear to God that my eighth grade year was probably one of the worst of my life, besides a handful of high points.