Dorm Room 210 [Private RP // Closed — Stalkers welcome!]

William entered the dorm but froze when he turned around and found Amber sprawled on the couch, her eyes covered by her arm. His gaze softened considerably. She had been waiting for him, he realized. Of course she had. He took a step closer, wanting to pick her up and carry her to her room when he the dark smudges on her cheeks. Tears. She had been crying.

It felt like a punch to the gut. Amber was crying, and he knew it was because of him. He had done this. He was hurting her and he hated himself for it.

He bent down next to her, thumb reaching out to caress her cheek, biting down on his lip as he noticed how fresh her tears were.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered as he moved to pick her up. “I’m so sorry, Blue…”

“I’m home,” William murmured, slowly picking her up in his arms. He pressed her close to his chest, lips burning to kiss her on the head. Or anywhere. He fought against it. “Sleep, Blue.”

“I’ll always come home,” William promised, holding her tightly. “Maybe late, but I’ll always come back.”

He sat down on the couch, her on his lap as he held her close. He didn’t want to let her go—not now. Not ever.

“I always want to come home. To you, in your arms,” William answered quietly, running his fingers through her hair, gritting his teeth. “Blue… I think we should talk…”

William didn’t know how long he sat there, holding his girlfriend in his arms. Finally, he stood up with the intention of leaving her in his room. But at the last second, he turned and entered his own room. He set her down on the bed, pulled the blanket over her and slid in next to her. He pulled her into his chest, legs tangled, and pressed a burning kiss to her neck.

He didn’t think they would do that again after tomorrow.

William stirred from his sleep, opening his eyes and blinking. He looked down at Amber, who had her head buried in his chest. He sighed, pulling her tighter towards him. He didn’t want her to wake up—not yet. He didn’t want to have that talk.

William pressed a kiss to her forehead, rubbing her back gently.

“Good morning,” he uttered out softly, his voice raspy from sleep. He didn’t loosen his hold on her. If anything, it only tightened. “Did you sleep well?”

He caressed her cheek, pressing their foreheads together.

“Yeah,” he answered quietly. “Best sleep I’ve had in days.”

"I'd like that," William replied, running his fingers through her hair, kissing the top of her head, her forehead, her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Blue. I'm so sorry…"

William breathed heavily before nodding, closing his eyes and touching the hands cupping his face. He wanted to kiss her. Badly, but he swallowed the desire. He wanted to spend today with her like this. Just wrapped up in her embrace, feeling her breathe, feeling her heart thumping in her chest. Feeling just her.

“Yeah,” he agreed to her request. “Let’s enjoy this.”

William tensed, his eyes opening. He tightened his hold on her waist, a sorrowful look on his features, her words like a sharp knife. His heart clenched painfully in his chest.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered, forcing the words out. “I just—I can’t. I look at you and all I can see is your terrified face the first time I hurt you. And after—after seeing her again, I realized how… dangerous I am. I don’t want to put you in a situation like that… I can’t.”

“I wanted to hurt her,” William admitted, adverting his eyes, shame creeping up at him. “Badly. If my father hadn’t stepped, I would have. And I wouldn’t have regretted it. And I started thinking—what if one day I do that to you? What if I hurt you, what if I become a monster in your eyes? And it’s driving me insane. I can’t do that. I can’t stay. Not the way I am right now.”

William’s eyes closed as he kissed her back, all the need and days of barely touching slamming out like water in a dam. He kissed her fiercely, pushing against her before he lessened the force of his kiss, lips moving against hers softly.

“I’ll miss you, too,” his voice broke, but he didn’t care to cover it up. “So much. Your smile, your laughter, your stupid, annoying self. I’ll miss all of you so goddamn much.”

William shifted until he was on his back and she was on top of him, reaching out to wipe her tears.

“I want you to know that every minute I spent with you, I cherished them all,” he told her, looking right into her eyes. “And I did not, and never thought of, ever use you. I want you to remember that you mean a lot to me, that there is no one else I’d rather have in my arms. I want you to take care of yourself. Don’t drink. Live life happily, like you deserve to. Keep on smiling, Blue…”

“You can,” William said, wiping her cheeks again, this time kissing her softly. “You don’t give yourself much credit, but you can. You can fight it. You don’t need me to help you do it. You’re so much stronger than you think you are.”