Character Analysis- sup, give my your character and I'll critique it: I'll analyze every single one! (closed- go away)

could you critique my main characters, Feraen and Kalo? the story is barely a few chapters in and their profiles still need some work but here they are

lol is that a John Mulaney reference??

So hey

First, we have Feraen!

• so to have the hatred of nobles, that's cool but you can do fun mind tricks off of that by juxtaposing one noble in a similarish situation as her and come to the same solution, or show how virtually, everyone is kinda the same with their needs because nobody is as one-sided as you think. Kinda try and prove her wrong in a sense and always have a mirror like this for her flaws. This will make the story more compelling.
• maybe add a little more to the nature part. she kinda feels like a copy and pasted adventure-fairy tale-girl hero thing going for her. so mainly: what separates her from them
• go deep into the themes and corruption into religion and politics- how do they affect each other- what power does this give the corruptors, and so much more! Just dive in deep. This will add in great themes

Overall pretty good.

Lastly, we have Kalo

• I want her to feel more than a stereotypical cool and collective princess.
• what does her past and growing up really show in her character now
• how brain-washed is she towards the system?
• she needs to feel more real and an actual human rather than a stew of cliche.

So yeah, Jana. talk to me if you have any further questions.

yes it's john mulaney :)
i put very little into their characters on here, sorry, but yea, i'm fully intending on making feraen realize that nobility isnt inherently bad, and kalo's own prejudices are gonna change when she learns about feraen's world, they're eventually gonna go against the system

how is kalo cliched? i tried to make her feel natural in the actual story, so it might just be that i didnt put a lot of detail into her profile

Ok, so I found Kalo cliched because she didn't feel like she was even unique in a way. To be "cool and dignified," I think that is most princesses (in a way) in a fairy talesish setting (i don't know what to call the setting) are quite along with those guidelines. I guess there is too much stigma around them. Because if she was too ram bunches and crazy, that would also fit into a predestined mold. So what I am saying is basically give her more sides to the face than just that. she feels like a sketch rather than a 3d model if you get what I'm saying. if I where you, I would look for real life of people in power and a silver spoon, watch videos on how to write more complexed characters.

Heres some of my recommendations (just channels):

• https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0zIZlbgvEifm_hd3FwlBQ (very introspective if you are good at reconizing metaphors and other deep thing)
• https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHACfIDFF66r6rYFjH7hHrSjmlU6MjKHD (podcast)

yeah i still have a lot of work to do on kalo. thank you for the feedback!

Hi dude :) Is it alright for me to drop off a character here? Danny Bell Don't mind the Main Character tag he's part of an ensemble cast. Mostly I'm worried about any coherency issues, because I sometimes get carried away with the complexity of my characters and might put in things that directly contrast each other. Any other critique is very welcome. I really appreciate it in advance!

I dont have a preference for which ones you look at but could you help me? I'm new to world building and I generally have no idea what I'm doing.

I dont have a preference for which ones you look at but could you help me? I'm new to world building and I generally have no idea what I'm doing.

yeah what do you need help on

Jana

Hey can you critique one of my characters?
Thank you!

Sup, so we have Nich here. Honestly, he's a pretty good character- just fill out a lot more

• he's too light!!! You should make him at least 15 lbs heavier to be a healthy and slim weight for a male- especially if they are 21. If he is stocky and broad then he would be a good 170 lbs even if he was malnourished because muscle weighs.
• add more for reasons in motivation
• it says Lucas Walters and Jason Fox are his dad???ummmm I think its a typo because I think it's his uncle.
• like what is a Twyllite- how are they different from humans?
• how is he an antihero? go into the ethics and philosophies of the people of the world.
• I want to know more about the world through him. How does he view life differently than others? Why does he do what he does? What does he deem moral and amoral? I need more guild lines for him.

Overall pretty good!
Jana

• check previous posts for recommendations in media for help on these things.

I really dont want my characters too stereotypical but i do want them understandable. Could i get some help on there complexity? Are they too complex or do they not have enough depth?

Hey can you critique my characters 2 characters please? Cool. Thanks. ;)
Leo: Invalid Character
Trent: Invalid Character

Hey there, so we have Leo and Trent, cool

SO… First up is Leo

• lol like so underweight he makes an anorexic person look obese! An African-Candian that's frickin 6'2 is a good 190-210 lbs depending on the buffness- but for him, a little underweight in the 180-189 rangeish.
• omg! he sounds so sweet with the video chats set for each person a specific day!!!
• just add more I want to know more about the world and his perspective on more things
• what are his wants in the story? not clear- absolutely need this for a story.

Trent:

• omg! again give him another 15-20 lbs!!!!! You seem pretty young and don't grape body weight yet so please listen to me on this one.
• needs to be filled out more to feel more real
• (don't get me wrong, people go to college at any time to better their lives, my dad graduated when with a bachelors when he was 35 because he quit working so I get not going to college for a while) but I feel like he should be a good 2 years younger for it? (Just my opinion, don't have to follow)
• where is he in connection to the protagonist? wast his goal and purpose in the story? It's not clear.

So pretty good!!! Just need to be more clear with the story and fill in more!
Jana
Look through previous comments for my recommended things for stories and character research to help with you.

Hey can you critique one of my characters?
Thank you!

Sup, so we have Nich here. Honestly, he's a pretty good character- just fill out a lot more

• he's too light!!! You should make him at least 15 lbs heavier to be a healthy and slim weight for a male- especially if they are 21. If he is stocky and broad then he would be a good 170 lbs even if he was malnourished because muscle weighs.
• add more for reasons in motivation
• it says Lucas Walters and Jason Fox are his dad???ummmm I think its a typo because I think it's his uncle.
• like what is a Twyllite- how are they different from humans?
• how is he an antihero? go into the ethics and philosophies of the people of the world.
• I want to know more about the world through him. How does he view life differently than others? Why does he do what he does? What does he deem moral and amoral? I need more guild lines for him.

Overall pretty good!
Jana

• check previous posts for recommendations in media for help on these things.

Huh I guess I totally missed the typo, rip! I'll change that and add weight and stuff.
Basically Twyllite means he's from Twyllo, it's his home country although he's also lived in Ehre and Creston, and refuses to tell anyone his hometown on the basis of not wanting to connect himself to anywhere
He's an antihero mainly because of his general ambition and cunning, and some of his past stuff (he's a con artist)
I've been searching for more Authortubers, are there any you recommend besides Jenna Moreci? I'm already subbed to her.

ok so it really depends on your age on what I recommend- I really have to do with your brain and emotional and other factors that I put to recommend the best thing that you'll need. Want to DM me and tell me a little tiny bit about you? lol that sounds really creepy sorry- I'm just trying to help

Hi dude :) Is it alright for me to drop off a character here? Danny Bell Don't mind the Main Character tag he's part of an ensemble cast. Mostly I'm worried about any coherency issues, because I sometimes get carried away with the complexity of my characters and might put in things that directly contrast each other. Any other critique is very welcome. I really appreciate it in advance!

Hey dude, so…

• omfg… he is way way way too light his bmi is like 17- severely underweight!!! What is it with you guys and not understanding weight? Oh my god. Jesus Christ. He should be 20-25 more lbs to be what you think he should be.
• he seems like most millennials/gen z kids with his approach to death. but why is he like that? more back story (not just this- give reasons for most things, will make him feel human and like an actual person than just a character)
• pretty well filled out- I like that ;)
• if he loves home-cooked food so much, he should learn how to make it because he's an adult. And you really can not use an excuse "oh he's awful at cooking and gurns everything" or "lol he's such a clutz he can't" Because he's an adult and needs to live off himself and not rely on others too much
• his wants in the story are unclear- what does he want to gain? What does this story revolve around with its theme and plot

Check previous comments for recommendations to what to watch or read for more research into these topics (Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective on characters and stories.)
Jana

Hello, would you mind taking a look at my boi over here please? qwq

Thank u y3y

Hi dude :) Is it alright for me to drop off a character here? Danny Bell Don't mind the Main Character tag he's part of an ensemble cast. Mostly I'm worried about any coherency issues, because I sometimes get carried away with the complexity of my characters and might put in things that directly contrast each other. Any other critique is very welcome. I really appreciate it in advance!

Hey dude, so…

• omfg… he is way way way too light his bmi is like 17- severely underweight!!! What is it with you guys and not understanding weight? Oh my god. Jesus Christ. He should be 20-25 more lbs to be what you think he should be.
• he seems like most millennials/gen z kids with his approach to death. but why is he like that? more back story (not just this- give reasons for most things, will make him feel human and like an actual person than just a character)
• pretty well filled out- I like that ;)
• if he loves home-cooked food so much, he should learn how to make it because he's an adult. And you really can not use an excuse "oh he's awful at cooking and gurns everything" or "lol he's such a clutz he can't" Because he's an adult and needs to live off himself and not rely on others too much
• his wants in the story are unclear- what does he want to gain? What does this story revolve around with its theme and plot

Check previous comments for recommendations to what to watch or read for more research into these topics (Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective on characters and stories.)
Jana

• Haha so sorry, you're REALLY right about me not understanding weight correctly, my close friends and I have,,,, really weird body types and corresponding weights so I never got the hang of it BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE! So thank you, will apply that.
• Hm, mostly he's like that because he's,,,, a dumb hermit and is left alone with his thoughts A LOT, so starts holding conversations with himself about topics like that (Death, moral, philosophy) just to remain sane (a common tactic!!). But ok, I see what you mean. And, do you mean fill out his backstory/history page MORE? Like a step-by-step process of how he changed/evolved from childhood to adulthood?? (which I can do! but, you could also just mean "more explanation for this and that" and I'm not sure).
• Ahh thank you!
• OOF YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I AGREE WITH YOU like cooking is??? a survival skill????? How can you not know/not take the time to learn how to cook you dumbie?? Just admit you're lazy and move on haha. ANYWAY my point is yes I'm very aware of that being a THING, it's really just another way of highlighting his flaws and his lazyness and you know how some people are like "uggghh I hate this thing about myself" but then do nothing to fix it/change it/improve it? That. (Like I'm seriously playing around with making a character that you like sometimes but that??? sometimes you can't stand? Because there's so much of people LOVING a character and justifying EVERYTHING they do to sort of, excuse themselves for liking a character who has made mistakes even tho??? that's normal?? we all make mistakes and are assholes sometimes and hopefully grow from it??? Anyway getting off-topic but i wanted to be clear about that intention of "he's okay i guess but sometimes you just wanna ring his neck" y'know.)
• hm okay, work on motivation and a reason to move his personal plot forward, got it.
• As someone who is an avid reader (and no not just online stuff/fanfics haha) I'd like to ask what you mean by ""Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective""? Do you mean read more books with the type of character I'm trying to write?? Or, play more,,,, video games?? Because I will admit I took a cliche of a character and tried (tried) to put my own spin on him, so maybe you mean I should read more books surrounding characters like this?? Sorry for not understanding

(Also thank you! For your help!! I really appreciate it.)

Woop, I have another character for you to review if you have time. I recently decided to flip the script on a very important aspect of the story which means that she had to be completely re-evaluated. she's a bit of a mess right now but I'm not sure what needs work at the moment. So… Can you help out a bit?

Missy: Mista Ó Cathain (Ó Kane)

Also, warning, she has a bit of a weird name because I first came up with the nickname and hero name and then I thought "shit, she needs a real name to" but I'm bad with names.

Can you critique these characters please? Also, please tell me what weight they would all be, as so far I’ve just been ignoring that.

@Darkblossom for weights you can use this side: https://www.calculator.net/ideal-weight-calculator.html?ctype=metric&cage=22&csex=f&cheightfeet=5&cheightinch=10&cheightmeter=156&printit=0&x=53&y=23
It's not 100% accurate but it gives you a good range of what's healthy.

I really dont want my characters too stereotypical but i do want them understandable. Could i get some help on there complexity? Are they too complex or do they not have enough depth?

Hey, so we have Alosia here…

• first off, stereotypical and understandable are two very different things that can be melted together. For when they are, its called most blockbuster movies bending over backward for their audience and just trying to rank in money. (sorry for my rant) You can have the most complexed and well thought off character and have them be very understandable because you put purpose and reason into their actions. Giving them depth, making sure they'd mostly always do in line with their character and making their actions affect the plot is how you do this. A stereotype is something that peoples brains can latch onto easily because there is already a mold that the character is coming out of. This makes it easy for the (more stupid or just overall not really caring) part of the audience a little to infer about the character and for them to not think so hard. Just remember for an understandable character, it should have empathy, reasons, and other important character moments leading up to the audience to get where they're coming from. Always try to make them more complexed.
• ???? I need to know what she looks like??? Like you need to say she looks like a human even though she has these other features such as wings, etc.
• Many young writers have the tendency to put "plays and practices with knives" and it's really annoying. This is one of my pet peeves. Like why would they? Put something else in like "loves picking flowers and picking odd the petals" or something else to make her have small moments to make her feel more than just a character on a website, and a person with a life.
• she feels overpowered and cliche with wings, powers, and etc. It really just reads off as twelve-year-old trash that will be thrown to the back of peoples minds right after they see yours because it's just like every other thirteen years old's crap. (I feel really mean putting that in, but it does need to be said)
• needs actual motivations, for example, "protects her people because loves and care for them because they were always there for her and helped her out with things because… the list can go on and on.

This honestly sounds a lot like I'm talking to my twelve-year-old self. Just keep on writing! research and watch videos, and read books to help you out! Don't give up!

Jana

Hi dude :) Is it alright for me to drop off a character here? Danny Bell Don't mind the Main Character tag he's part of an ensemble cast. Mostly I'm worried about any coherency issues, because I sometimes get carried away with the complexity of my characters and might put in things that directly contrast each other. Any other critique is very welcome. I really appreciate it in advance!

Hey dude, so…

• omfg… he is way way way too light his bmi is like 17- severely underweight!!! What is it with you guys and not understanding weight? Oh my god. Jesus Christ. He should be 20-25 more lbs to be what you think he should be.
• he seems like most millennials/gen z kids with his approach to death. but why is he like that? more back story (not just this- give reasons for most things, will make him feel human and like an actual person than just a character)
• pretty well filled out- I like that ;)
• if he loves home-cooked food so much, he should learn how to make it because he's an adult. And you really can not use an excuse "oh he's awful at cooking and gurns everything" or "lol he's such a clutz he can't" Because he's an adult and needs to live off himself and not rely on others too much
• his wants in the story are unclear- what does he want to gain? What does this story revolve around with its theme and plot

Check previous comments for recommendations to what to watch or read for more research into these topics (Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective on characters and stories.)
Jana

• Haha so sorry, you're REALLY right about me not understanding weight correctly, my close friends and I have,,,, really weird body types and corresponding weights so I never got the hang of it BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE! So thank you, will apply that.
• Hm, mostly he's like that because he's,,,, a dumb hermit and is left alone with his thoughts A LOT, so starts holding conversations with himself about topics like that (Death, moral, philosophy) just to remain sane (a common tactic!!). But ok, I see what you mean. And, do you mean fill out his backstory/history page MORE? Like a step-by-step process of how he changed/evolved from childhood to adulthood?? (which I can do! but, you could also just mean "more explanation for this and that" and I'm not sure).
• Ahh thank you!
• OOF YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I AGREE WITH YOU like cooking is??? a survival skill????? How can you not know/not take the time to learn how to cook you dumbie?? Just admit you're lazy and move on haha. ANYWAY my point is yes I'm very aware of that being a THING, it's really just another way of highlighting his flaws and his lazyness and you know how some people are like "uggghh I hate this thing about myself" but then do nothing to fix it/change it/improve it? That. (Like I'm seriously playing around with making a character that you like sometimes but that??? sometimes you can't stand? Because there's so much of people LOVING a character and justifying EVERYTHING they do to sort of, excuse themselves for liking a character who has made mistakes even tho??? that's normal?? we all make mistakes and are assholes sometimes and hopefully grow from it??? Anyway getting off-topic but i wanted to be clear about that intention of "he's okay i guess but sometimes you just wanna ring his neck" y'know.)
• hm okay, work on motivation and a reason to move his personal plot forward, got it.
• As someone who is an avid reader (and no not just online stuff/fanfics haha) I'd like to ask what you mean by ""Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective""? Do you mean read more books with the type of character I'm trying to write?? Or, play more,,,, video games?? Because I will admit I took a cliche of a character and tried (tried) to put my own spin on him, so maybe you mean I should read more books surrounding characters like this?? Sorry for not understanding

(Also thank you! For your help!! I really appreciate it.)

What I mean by "Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective" is really just try and analysis and think critically about the characters in that media and what is different about them to yours, and how you or they could improve upon different areas. Try and think about things through different eyes and this will help you get into your characters' heads. You need to see things differently to help you understand more to help with putting more complexity on characters, settings, and themes. Just compair and think about the differnt mantalities between authors, characacters, and works.

Hi dude :) Is it alright for me to drop off a character here? Danny Bell Don't mind the Main Character tag he's part of an ensemble cast. Mostly I'm worried about any coherency issues, because I sometimes get carried away with the complexity of my characters and might put in things that directly contrast each other. Any other critique is very welcome. I really appreciate it in advance!

Hey dude, so…

• omfg… he is way way way too light his bmi is like 17- severely underweight!!! What is it with you guys and not understanding weight? Oh my god. Jesus Christ. He should be 20-25 more lbs to be what you think he should be.
• he seems like most millennials/gen z kids with his approach to death. but why is he like that? more back story (not just this- give reasons for most things, will make him feel human and like an actual person than just a character)
• pretty well filled out- I like that ;)
• if he loves home-cooked food so much, he should learn how to make it because he's an adult. And you really can not use an excuse "oh he's awful at cooking and gurns everything" or "lol he's such a clutz he can't" Because he's an adult and needs to live off himself and not rely on others too much
• his wants in the story are unclear- what does he want to gain? What does this story revolve around with its theme and plot

Check previous comments for recommendations to what to watch or read for more research into these topics (Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective on characters and stories.)
Jana

• Haha so sorry, you're REALLY right about me not understanding weight correctly, my close friends and I have,,,, really weird body types and corresponding weights so I never got the hang of it BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE! So thank you, will apply that.
• Hm, mostly he's like that because he's,,,, a dumb hermit and is left alone with his thoughts A LOT, so starts holding conversations with himself about topics like that (Death, moral, philosophy) just to remain sane (a common tactic!!). But ok, I see what you mean. And, do you mean fill out his backstory/history page MORE? Like a step-by-step process of how he changed/evolved from childhood to adulthood?? (which I can do! but, you could also just mean "more explanation for this and that" and I'm not sure).
• Ahh thank you!
• OOF YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I AGREE WITH YOU like cooking is??? a survival skill????? How can you not know/not take the time to learn how to cook you dumbie?? Just admit you're lazy and move on haha. ANYWAY my point is yes I'm very aware of that being a THING, it's really just another way of highlighting his flaws and his lazyness and you know how some people are like "uggghh I hate this thing about myself" but then do nothing to fix it/change it/improve it? That. (Like I'm seriously playing around with making a character that you like sometimes but that??? sometimes you can't stand? Because there's so much of people LOVING a character and justifying EVERYTHING they do to sort of, excuse themselves for liking a character who has made mistakes even tho??? that's normal?? we all make mistakes and are assholes sometimes and hopefully grow from it??? Anyway getting off-topic but i wanted to be clear about that intention of "he's okay i guess but sometimes you just wanna ring his neck" y'know.)
• hm okay, work on motivation and a reason to move his personal plot forward, got it.
• As someone who is an avid reader (and no not just online stuff/fanfics haha) I'd like to ask what you mean by ""Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective""? Do you mean read more books with the type of character I'm trying to write?? Or, play more,,,, video games?? Because I will admit I took a cliche of a character and tried (tried) to put my own spin on him, so maybe you mean I should read more books surrounding characters like this?? Sorry for not understanding

(Also thank you! For your help!! I really appreciate it.)

What I mean by "Just start reading more books close to your topic or completely against it to get a perspective" is really just try and analysis and think critically about the characters in that media and what is different about them to yours, and how you or they could improve upon different areas. Try and think about things through different eyes and this will help you get into your characters' heads. You need to see things differently to help you understand more to help with putting more complexity on characters, settings, and themes. Just compair and think about the differnt mantalities between authors, characacters, and works.

Ah okay understood! Thanks again, you were very helpful :)

Hello, would you mind taking a look at my boi over here please? qwq

Thank u y3y

Hey,

• so what color is Hiryur's hair when he's a human? I suggest a natural color like black to fit into the human world.
• he seems a little young for the emotional maturity and growth that he had to endure, may I. suggest maybe 22-25? It would feel more real- in an emotional maturity way.
• I like the part in his bio about his favorite color. It feels like a little piece of him was shown at that little moment. I think you need more little things like that around to make him feel like a real person.
• Ummmmm… Why is he the villain? It doesn't specify why and how he is going against the protagonist, and what his deep motivations are for that.

Tell me if you want me to specify more into this, and sorry it took so long,
Jana

Want to look at my character? Penny Macintire
Thank you!

Can you critique these characters please? Also, please tell me what weight they would all be, as so far I’ve just been ignoring that.

Sup, so we have Rohl, Sashay, and Asla…

First up is Rohl-

• his weight, for being healthy- a good 180 lbs. But with muscle then about 195 lbs (because muscle ways so much more than fat). I have no idea what you mean by "slightly above average" like chubby? muscular? so maybe just 185 lbs for overall.
• honestly, fun and fresh character dynamic going on here. I love it. I would mostly focus on Sashay's obliviousness to it and how this fake relationship affects both of them, Maybe turning him into a better person?
• lol, love that he was chosen because he was gay and it wouldn't turn into that romcom of he actually loves her at the end now.
• They have a kid??? I thought this would have been just like a yearish long relationship so he doesn't have to live out his life in a lie and with Sashay and find happiness with some guy that would even help him become a better person. Wow, can Sashay really live unbeknownst to his turn intentions for that long? I mean I know that they're enemies now, but how did he have sex with her??

Now is Sashay-

• if she's skinny and fit at 5'6, I'm going to say 125 lbs- 135 lbs. Depends on the amount of muscle, but since she is skinny I'm going to say 125ish.
• why did they want this information from her and why did they choose a fake relationship for her? Like was the info that important? Give more motivation a backstory on this part because I am honestly confused.
• Fill out more. More mannerisms, more flaws (she's a mother and comes with a lot too), more hobbies, she needs more than the thing that she does for a living.

Last is Asla-

• 5'5 and fit. I'm going to say she's going to look 120-130 lbs. Really it comes down to how much muscle mass of her.
• What is her role/purpose in the story? What does she do? What does she add to the plot?

Tell me if you have any questions or if you need me to explain something,
Jana

Woop, I have another character for you to review if you have time. I recently decided to flip the script on a very important aspect of the story which means that she had to be completely re-evaluated. she's a bit of a mess right now but I'm not sure what needs work at the moment. So… Can you help out a bit?

Missy: Mista Ó Cathain (Ó Kane)

Also, warning, she has a bit of a weird name because I first came up with the nickname and hero name and then I thought "shit, she needs a real name to" but I'm bad with names.

Sure,
So Missy feels very blunt (If you couldn't tell by now, I'm too), and I really like that. And that hero name… My reaction was "ehhh…" So I think you should change it. ANd her first name too. her are suggestions:

• Elizabeth and call her Eliza or Liza (pronounced Leeza)
• Phoebe
• Marie (maybe a middle name)
• I can also see her as a Charlotte
• Cecilia
• Cordelia
• Ophelia
  All these names are ageless, many of them go back thousands of years

Last Names:

• Jackson
• Faye: Old French fau "beech tree"
• Jones
  lol, you can really choose by yourself because you know the world

Superhero: Really try and choose another this is one Miss Cheif, is just ahh bad.

She looks pretty good other than that. She has to be able to judge quickly to keep ahead of the villain, so what does this effect have on her normal life and her relationships with the people around her. Think about this too all of her flaws and the justifications behind them. Describe more on how she got her powers- more of the science behind it, and then why she was affected like this and others weren't.

Bye,
Jana

Want to look at my character? Penny Macintire
Thank you!

I can't see it, I don't have permission from you.

Alexander Jones could you all please critique y character, Alex? He is my precious boy and I would appreciate it.

Ok, so I have Alex,
I don't have any problems with his character since he's like eight and hasn't gone through life yet. My problem is the story. I got nothing out of reading this. What's the plot? What are the complications and restrictions with making it in an eight-year-olds perspective? What are the themes? What's the overall purpose?

Tell me if you have any questions,
Jana

So I've had this character for a long time, and I have been trying to flesh him out. I have a long backstory that probably makes no sense, but I would be appreciative of any feedback you can come up with so I can further develop my story. I'm very thankful for people like you who take the time to help others. Thank you :)

(Just as a side note, the story is intended to have comical elements, and that element bled through in the outline)

( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) hello

Hello, would u mind taking a look at my character, she's actually well developed character(only in my head, though) but i cant seem to describe it with words, due to my horrible english. But i did some work on her backstory, so i hope u can analyze it.

And for a side note, her story and her overall character is based on two canon games of final fantasy. So i hope u could consider it if anything doesnt make sense. Thank u so much in advance