(OPEN AGAIN!!!!) I'm in the mood to critique people's characters! Drop them off if you want :)

Hi, im back o/
Mind taking a look at this boyo?

Take your time, no rush!

@WriteOutofTime (You're really sweet thank you ^^)
TK:

• Interesting that she hates her name, it's not a bad name? Is there a sentimentality behind the name she doesn't like, or is her namesake someone/something she dislikes?
• Her Appearance? Perfect. Great details in Body Type especially, society does deem a specific sort of body type "androgynous" and if you're outside of that One Single Standard you might get comments like "of but you don't look non-binary :/ " and will probably have a lot of self-loathing in general for "failing" to live up to a standard that's been set by cis people of all people. ANYWAY, I could go on but I just really appreciate that you include that in her description and, already, it gives me a feel for her character.
• I am curious, is her body dysmorphia primarily associated with an insecurity about her gender, or an insecurity about her weight? Either way good detail in Conditions.
• Also great Mannerisms! Ditto with Flaws, very detailed. I'm curious about her selfishness: coupled with her always thinking she's right, I'm curious how this plays into her body dysmorphia, or vice versa? Often with dysmorphophobia, a person will seek validation (verbal, physical) from those around them (despite not actually believing any validation they might receive), and the disorder is often partially caused by social pressure, by a social beauty standard or by peer pressure. So I'm curious if these traits developed after her high school years, perhaps as a counter-reaction to her history of self-loathing, of caring too much of what others might think, to the point where it had terrible consequences on her health? (I only assume this as the case because you write "She gets angry easily whenever anyone makes her feel weak/uncomfortable in her body and gets into people's faces when she feels threatened" and I think that would be an interesting aspect to elaborate on!)
• "loves cuddling, sleeping, […]" this is a big "Awwww" for me, and makes me wonder who she shows this more intimate side to? Alternatively, what factor decides whether she'd rather be training or sleeping, as the two are very opposing?
• "She values her life, but feels young and invincible. She acts as though she is a god at times. This overconfidence makes her a viable ally, as she will never give in to a fight, but also a dangerous liability." I just wanted to highlight how much I LOVE this. Just in general this is a wonderfully detailed section, you manage to create such a flawed (SO FLAWED) and believable and yet likeable character, and I can name two people in my life off the top of my head that TK immediately reminds me of, "exciting […] to be around, but […] can be draining". It's just wonderful how real TK feels to me.
• LOVE her Politics section as well haha, "Sometimes it hits her that she works for the government and she gets all salty about it", wonderful.
• Mmm good backstory, and it also answers one of my initial questions about the foundation for her body dysmorphia.

Overall I just,,,,, god I just ADORE TK, she's the type of person I would absolutely avoid in real life and would probably clash with but at the same time she's so relatable in certain aspects and as a character, very exciting and has a lot of room to improve, and it makes me excited to see her journey as a person. Anyway a lot of this wasn't really critique haha, but I hope it was helpful nonetheless! All your characters that I've seen so far are just,,,, right up my alley and I love them. Keep up the great work!

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster
Charlie:

• Again, try to add more details into his Appearance. You don't include a Weight, for which you would have to make up for in Body Type: slender, okay, but does he have any muscles? Does he have any chub anywhere? Also useful details to add are things like slim hips? wide shoulders? long neck? legs-to-torso proportions? What kind of brown is his skin tone? Where do the majority of his freckles congregate, his cheeks, his nose, his shoulders? Are they numerous and evenly distributed along his body? What shade of blue is his hair?
• His Personality is well-developed!! You actually describe his traits and detail them in Personality, good job; I would definitely add more Quirks, or Mannerisms, that demonstrate his skittishness and caution. I would ask for reasons behind his low-self-esteem, but I get the feeling from previous profiles you'll go more in-depth about that in his History :) Overall I'd say Charlie is the most clearly established Nature I've seen from you so far!
• Good Social tab.
• Okay, you definitely go more in-depth about why he is the way he is in Backstory; I think his period of anger and depression could be elaborated on more in Nature, and how he tries to avoid ever showing that side of himself again, or even acknowledging its existence. I also see his similarity to Sophie and why he's her Love Interest haha, they would definitely understand each other.

Nice job overall; as usual, I think a few more details and clarification are warranted in some places, but Charlie seems well-thought-out! Good luck :)

@Echellia Honestly y'all are so nice, insisting I take my time when I'm sitting here quietly begging for people to give me their characters haha <3 I'm happy to look at your character, don't even worry about it.

Min-Jee:

• I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but the faceclaim in your gallery does not have black hair :) As you seem to imply it in her Looks tab.
• Try to add more detail to Body Type! She's clearly a light girl, is she slim/slender/thin? Does she have skinny arms? When you say Curvy, do you mean she's voluptuous or that she has a small waist and therefor the impression of an hourglass frame? Large curves automatically tend to add a heaviness to a body, so you can always heighten her weight to make that clearer.
• Overall a good Looks tab, although it sparks some confusion with it's contrast to the picture in your gallery ;) It also raises some other questions: is her gaze as innocent and sweet as it is in the picture, is her aura as angelic? Does she give off a certain type of vibe? This could be elaborated in Identifying Marks!
• I'd beef up her Mannerisms too! Does she twirl her hair when she's nervous, when she's being flirtatious, when she's bored/waiting? How does she talk, does she have an accent, does she have a unique tone of voice, does she cuss a lot? Does she have any other nervous ticks, does she have a tell for when she's lying? Does she have a particular gaze, a certain way of looking at people or pinning them down with a look?
• Definitely explore more of her flaws: you bring up a few in Personality that could be elaborated on, like over-protectiveness, two-facedness, lying, controlling, manipulative, etc. Her Prejudices also imply a possible insecurity, or a fear of losing control over herself, and how she uses her control of others to appease this fear.
• I would add some more Hobbies, her Talents are good though! Does she have medical training? Also, things like lying could be a Talent, as well as manipulation.
• I do like that, even with all her flaws, everything she does is for her brother, signalling that for Min-Jee the ends justify the means, another belief that could be further explored! It raises questions about her moral compass, and how far is too far for Min-Jee, or is there no such thing for her, if her brother's safety is concerned? Would she die for him, or does she have an element of self-preservation? What's her life and personality outside of her brother?
• I like the details for her favorite possessions and weapon :) It adds a humanity to her, a girlyness (if I may say that?), a youthfulness.
• Interesting that, at first, Min-Jee is the one who needs "protection" on her brother's part, but that their roles reverse as they grow older and experience the same trauma: is her brother aware of this switch in dynamic, or does he still consider himself the Rottweiler to this day, unaware of Min-Jee's protectiveness?
• Good details in Career, and it again raises the question of whether Min-Jee's cruelty is possibly something more inherent than she'd like to think/admit.

A good and interesting character! She could use some beefing up and some more clarity, as well as details, in certain areas, but she has a clear motive and a gray morality that makes her interesting by proxy. Hope this was helpful, and good luck! :)

@Kinarymo ::whispers:: I always have time for you <3
Virion:

• Putting "quite handsome" in Body Type is completely up to personal taste ;) Replace that phrase with what you believe makes him handsome, rather than telling the reader how to feel about his appearance: beauty is incredibly subjective. Does he have a long (elegant) neck, or a slim waist, or a wide chest, or long legs? You say he is "average, well-proportioned", but is he slender? thick-skinned? big-boned? Does he have chub in some places?
• Other than that, great job on Looks!
• oooooh it's not often I see an obvious misogynist on this site!!
• "Hiryur, whom he basically raised since he was little. He is affectionate and slightly protective towards his lover, almost like a parent would be towards a child," This will be more of a personal thing, so feel free to ignore me on this: it is a little weird that one would fall in love with someone to whom they were basically a parental figure, and borders onto pedophilia, depending on when Virion's feelings began to develop, whether he was aware of them or not. There's a power imbalance there, and because I'm unaware of exactly how young Hiryur is, I immediately assume the worst as well. Just something to chew on.
• His Flaws are a bit lacking I think, you don't mention that he's manipulative (though you do elaborate it numerous time in the other sections, that's good), for example. I think it would add more to him if you elaborated this section a bit more, really solidified what makes him a villain, or else establish that he's a detached antagonist, who doesn't go out of his way to be evil but doesn't really care if things turn out that way, as long as he and his boyfriend are fine. This in turn could be explored, a moral compass that's focused solely on his own needs, and introduces a selfishness/self-centered that could add a lot.
• Overall his Nature is very detailed, you do a great job as usual with really nitpicking his personality which I love haha.
• I'm curious, you seem to imply that his job turned him into a charming, manipulative person. What was he like before, in that case? Was he more socially awkward, less smooth?
• His development into someone more empathetic seems very heavily tied in with his boyfriend, which again raises the question of how far his kindness and caring extends: is it only ever for the sake of Hiryur, or has he begun sympathizing with others as well?

A good character with a nice neutrality and gray morality: that being said I am scared that he might not stand out, especially next to other characters. If this is not a concern of yours, then don't worry about it: but I think if you enhanced his cruelty perhaps, while still keeping his humanity and love for Hiryur intact, he might make for a more interesting/complex character?? Just a thought. I hope this was helpful, and keep up the good work! ^^

@Kaloobia gasp aww <3
i indeed need to work more on flaws and the extent of his kindness, got it o7
I originally intended to make him a little more vile, but i was afraid it might be too much, since he's the family's literal black sheep 👉👈
As for the almost-pedo situation, it has been pointed out to me before, reason why i made him aware of it as well and talked about it in his backstory.
I really love your critiques, i love how you find even the last bit of information hole there is about a character, it's amazing and also refreshing to read your responses (no joke, there's a positiviness about you that brightens my day) so thank you once again for taking your time to look at one of my boyos 🙏

Now that this one's done, i hope you do not mind if i send another one. You can put me on the waiting list, no problem :'D

@Kinarymo
You're literally the sweetest???? Thank YOU, for always responding and answering any questions I might have, and supplying such interesting characters! :D (^-^)
And believe me when I say that there's literally no line, I'm grasping my hands at thin air just waiting for the requests to come in hahaaa

Hiryur!

• I'm SO into his look!!!!! Ngl my first thought was "eMO!! I FOUND MY PEOPLE!!!"
• I'm so excited just because one of his tags is literally "annoying" <3
• Again, zero comments on the Looks, it's all perfect
• He is such a complex character, the moral ambiguity coupled with a need for fair fights coupled with his flashiness, and I just love everything about him.
• Again, great depth with his Mannerisms. It actually made me laugh that he literally has One (1) motivation and it's something so simple, and it actually makes sense for that to be the ONLY thing that motivates him?? But I do wonder whether his attachment to Virion wouldn't add another layer, another motive, one that's less selfish, more protective. It can be dangerous to center a character's existence around someone else, but for someone as near-obsessive (and, dare I say, a little unhinged?) as Hiryur, it would also make sense.
• His Prejudice brings up the question of pettiness, and grudges. Thoughts? in relation to Hiryur.
• ooh I adore the detail of his forked tongue, and how that gives him the ability to speak two words at once; very creative!
• His religion is very vague, any particular reason? Or have you not decided on a major religion for him yet?
• I just love the tiny details, like the exactness of the hot cocoa, and doll-playing, and the "it'S pASteL LAVendER". It really make Hiryur come alive for me.
• Again, great job with the backstory, though I will point out (not a critique, more of a technical issue): the second and sixth paragraphs of his Background section are in a different font, and they go on off the page, elongating into one huge long line of sentences rather than manifesting into a paragraph. Maybe you typed something by accident that cause the font to react weird?? Just a small thing.

I'm not exaggerating when I say this is my favorite character out of all the ones you've sent me hahaaa, I LOVE him. I think my bias made it harder for me to be as critical, so I'm sorry if this particular critique is shorter and more praise than actual stuff to improve. ^^"
Great job as usual, and keep up the great work! :)

Overall I just,,,,, god I just ADORE TK, she's the type of person I would absolutely avoid in real life and would probably clash with but at the same time she's so relatable in certain aspects and as a character, very exciting and has a lot of room to improve, and it makes me excited to see her journey as a person. Anyway a lot of this wasn't really critique haha, but I hope it was helpful nonetheless! All your characters that I've seen so far are just,,,, right up my alley and I love them. Keep up the great work!

YAY I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE TK!! I feel like her personality can be so abrasive so I wanted to make her relatable. Thank you so much for the lovely critique!

burn the hell outta my baby boy

Hi! If you're not too busy, could you critique Michelle for me? I could really use some help on especially the Conditions part since I have some quite heavy stuff there; I don't want to mess it up. Thanks in advance!

@Kaloobia

1. Ayy, i'm glad you like his look :"D i kinda struggle with outfits in general, so it's a relief to know i got it right I did have some people in the past suggesting i use less black for a villain's outfit, but hey, black is the hardest to stain, so ¯_(ツ)_/¯
2. More than just one motivation, i'll see what i can do o7
3. Yeah, the prejudice thing. He does indeed hold grudges, his biggest one so far being against Rin, because he knows he's overpowered and he hates it
4. Uuh, yea, i forgot about the religion thing. He's supposed to be in the same situation as Virion, but when you edit characters at 4 AM you forget stuff :'>
5. Ah yes, i've encountered the paragraph issue before, it happens when you press space 4 times before a sentence instead of 3 ( even though it doesn't show, i always put 3 spaces before the first line of a paragraph.)

I'm really glad you like him, especially since he's a villain, the one type of character i struggle the most with :'> Knowing i've got him right lifts a weight off my chest, thank you so much <3

I hope you don't mind if i send u another boyo, since i'm already here :"D

Thank u so much once again! <3

@WriteOutofTime

YAY I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE TK!! I feel like her personality can be so abrasive so I wanted to make her relatable. Thank you so much for the lovely critique!

:) :) :)

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster It's no problem at all! ^^
Lucas:

• Good Looks section! It might help to add a weight for him, but that's optional.
• Great detail in Personality! For Motivation, I would raise the point that it's dangerous to have a character's only motivation center around another person, to push their entire character into the role of Love Interest and nothing else; so, maybe develop a second Motivation for him.
• What do you mean when you say "Cursed" in Conditions? Elaborate.
• I find it a tiny bit contradictory that, for someone who wants so desperately to be loved, you describe Lucas as someone with few worries, gets into fights constantly (and enjoys it), comes off rude and selfish as a first impression. Are all of these traits defense mechanisms? perhaps to keep people who "aren't worth it" at a distance? In which case, who's his target "audience" haha, who's love is he desperate for? What type of people is he drawn to, and how long before he lets down his guard and becomes more "Warm" as you describe him?
• Everything else in Nature looks good!
• I'm actually curious, in his Likes you put "love", but who on earth doesn't like love? Who doesn't crave it on some basic level? This might be interesting to elaborate on, perhaps introduce an obsessiveness or fixation to him.
• oooooh he has a spouse but likes Sophie :0 :0 :0
• "This was all caused when his mother's ghost tried to steal his soul, His father resented him for that" why??? does his father resent him for something like that?????
• In general his Background is a little confused, you leave certain sentences unfinished and there's a certain vagueness to a lot of it. Maybe go over it a few more times, try to be more specific in areas (4 people? who they???)
• I find it a very good detail that, possibly because he was neglected by his father, Lucas has a tendency to date around, to seek affection that he missed out on during his childhood. I had to guess at this, and I think it'd be a great aspect to elaborate on and detail in his Nature section!

Overall a good character who just needs a little bit of polishing, and you should be good! I hope this was helpful :)

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster No problem! Thank you for the clarification :)

@PoppyJeffs
Your wish is my command ^^
Isaac:

• hooooh he's big!! And the entire Looks tab is very good :) However I notice you don't detail a Body Type, so I have a hard time visualizing him fully: is he heavy-set, big-boned, muscled, chubby? Wide shoulders? strong thighs or arms? long legs? It can be very helpful to specify.
• I am VERY consfused by you putting "His matters are non-existent" for Mannerisms; I'm asking this in the least judgy way, are you maybe confused on the definition of Mannerisms? You seem to imply here he doesn't have a physical form for which Mannerisms would be necessary to depict, which is in complete opposition to your detail in his Looks and the fact that he's present enough to have a group of people who he interacts with and who interact with him and. Just, the sentence makes no sense unfortunately. Just in case, a mannerism is anything that your character does that can be categorized as a tick, a quirk, and it's a great way to personalize your character: how does he talk, soft or loud or with an accent or with a lisp? Does he swagger, or walk with a hunch, or does he tiptoe or dance everywhere? Is his face expressive, does he chew loudly, is he a chain-smoker?? So many things, great for small details!
• Good list of flaws, I think it would help to actually explain each flaw, to solidify why it's a FLAW, especially for things like a high sex-drive (why is this bad? how might this get in the way of him developing as a person?). Is his self-hate founded in anything, and how is it expressed? Is he always over-emotional, or only about particular subjects? What triggers his possessiveness? Is he clingy only with loved ones, or does he get very quickly attached to anyone who shows him any basic kindness? It's good to elaborate!
• "he has a bias against his boyfriend and his best friend. " Just me being a nitpick and a correct grammar freak, but I think you mean "has a bias FOR […]" because here it seems like he HATES his boyfriend and friends ;) And I don't think I would qualify pessimism as a Prejudice, that would go better in Flaws, unless you can find a way to explain how his pessimism might illogically or irrationally affect his judgement of things or people he knows very little about personally.
• The reader might not know what Isaac's talents are, but the author should know Everything about their character, and that includes things they are GOOD at haha. Some Hobbies could qualify as Talents if Isaac has particularly good mastery over them, and some personality traits could even qualify as well, like a talent for manipulation or making the best out of situation (=resourcefulness).
• Good start in Hobbies, though I would add one or two more; something as simple as "hanging out with friends" or "cuddling with boyfriend".
• "He's a logical and overly-emotional," is directly contradictory, do you mean perhaps "illogical"? Also you bring up so many new flaws in his Personality section!! "unreliable" and "holds grudges" and "violent when angry". These could all be initially listed in Flaws, and you elaborate them decently in Personality too! It's good that you keep connecting certain aspects of his personality back to his past, as it adds a cohesiveness and also in a way "explains" his behavior, but I think you could go further, by actually pointing out which aspects of his past have affected him into a certain type of behavior, rather than keeping it vague. I understand that you're trying to build up to the Background section haha, but it's okay to drop more obvious hints, for example when you mention his mother, that's already a good start. If I may also recommend, tying in more traits to his past as well as to each other? For example, him needing affection that is genuine and not forced, could also be connected back to his "backstabbing mother", as well as to his trust issues, as WELL as to his self-esteem issues, like, it's all a big circle and it all connects, if that makes sense??? Idk I'm just rambling at this point haha, please excuse me.
• "quick-witted which is useful to him due to his violent behavior and stubbornness." You'll have to explain this better, I personally don't see the correlation.
• In general you do good in explaining his traits with, so-to-speak, "evidence" in Personality, but I think some things could still be elaborated on.
• Good Magic section, love the pokemon comment haha and it's true, it's creative to use the fact that Scorpio is a Water sign and have him draw power from that, I quite like that!
• Can you be more specific in Religion, for example which branch of Christianity? How heavily does his belief affect him in his day to day life? Does it contradict in any way with the fact that he used to be a demi-god??
• No such thing as having "no politics"; everything is political, from ones education to their social class to their income to their human rights; if someone "doesn't have an opinion" on politics they are most likely Conservative, or right-leaning, as the system benefits them in a way that they aren't even aware of the effect it might have on their life because they have nothing to complain about, and wouldn't really change anything. Regardless I would recommend some research on political parties, as I'm no authority haha. Political could also be something as simple as personal beliefs that not everyone would agree on, for example Isaac is lgbt+ so clearly, he's in favor if lgbt+ rights.
• Interesting (and unhealthy?) that he thinks of his boyfriend as a "possession": you could elaborate on the fact that this is unhealthy and tie it back in with his obsessiveness and clingy-ness, perhaps his lack of knowledge on the subject, as he is an ex-demigod, and what his boyfriend might have to say on the matter. Does Isaac consider himself more important than his boyfriend, does he put his own needs first? Does he have any respect for his boyfriend? To be elaborated on, as it's an interesting distinction you make.
• Everything else in Social looks good!
• Specify "High" education, as people have a different definition of that: does he have the equivalent of a high school diploma, a bachelor's or a master's or a PhD?
• JeSUS chRIst that backstory is intense and grotesque, I hope that's what you were going for because???? wow. It does end a little abruptly, what happened afterwards, how did he escape, or was Isaac banished or??? How did he get to his current position in the story? His long list of flaws also makes sense now, holy shit. (You'll have to excuse me for not offering more here, I only skimmed the section after I got to the "incestuous" part, that kind of thing makes me incredibly queasy haha, you'll have more luck with someone else on that particular section.) (Also may I recommend a Trigger Warning? for people who might react worse to that kind of thing than I did, it's INTENSE.)

Ending on that note haha, you've got an interesting and complex character in the works, who could easily be a villain as well as an unlikely hero, a sort of grey morally I personally love in a character. Some elaboration and connection inside the profile should do Isaac some good. I hope this was helpful to you, good luck!

@GloriousPirateAlpaca Of course!
Michelle:

• Any particular shade of brown for her eyes? Great detail in Body Type, everything in Looks is pretty solid.
• I have very little to say about her Nature section: you go into so much detail and connect everything so seamlessly and it's all very solid and easy to read. Wonderful job here. Since you asked to pay special attention to Conditions (though even here I'm having trouble finding critique): perhaps relate her empathy more clearly to her Condition, as she seems to relate to people who are suffering on a more personal level and this is what makes her so good at interacting with them in the right way. For real though, you detail so much of her symptoms and after-effects of her trauma in other sections of her Nature tab and that's one of the best ways to do it if you ask me: I'm afraid I can't give much advice here because you've done such. a. good. job.
• Great Background, and may I also assume that, along with wanting to help others by studying psychology, she also wanted to help herself? Knowledge and awareness of your own Conditions is a big first step to healing. If that is the case I would highlight that as well, whether in Background or in Conditions.
• I really like the Trivia section, it adds a little something :)

I'm sorry this so short, but Michelle is so well-developed and you've clearly spent a lot of thought and time on her: there's not much for me to say here haha. She feels very real to me, and I think you've got yourself a great protagonist. Good luck! :)

@Kaloobia Oh wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you like her! I'll have another look at her with the stuff you pointed out. And I'll definitely add what you said about her studying psychology to help herself, great though! Again, thank you, and thank you for taking a look at her for me!

@Kaloobia
Thank you so much!! And I’m so sorry about the incest part, I though I put a warning?? Stupid me, apologies!

Maybe I should move the backstory tab before the nature tab?? But, uh, thank you so much!! This was extremely helpful!-

I’d like to note that I had no idea what it meant by mannerisms as it could’ve meant like so many other things lmao—

His boyfriend’s relationship is extremely confusing, Isaac does love him, but due to his past has a hard time knowing how and his constant lust makes it a difficult relationship—

I didn’t go into detail with his education as he is a God so he kinda just learnt everything from watching mortals around and his mother, (so— yea I could put that)

I recommend you also check out my “Death Flower” universe it’ll make him make some more sense!!

And I think that covers up— pretty much all the confusion?? If there’s still any questions feel free to ask! Again thank you so much 💜💜

And oops did I accidentally put pessimistic in prejudice? And silly me— I need to reread more xdd

hey hey heyo
here's another of my characters! It's the main character (well, one of the two main characters) so please be harsh!
Nyir: Nyir Viann

um, hi!! i'm pretty new to this website and i'm not entirely done with her descriptions, but i would love if you could take a look at my character, willow. she's very work in progress, though i believe she has enough to provide decent critique material. don't worry about being too harsh or writing too much- i adore super detailed reviews as they help me improve on her :) one tiny note; her "personality" section is very very rough and only features an "outlook" on her traits. i plan to write a fleshed-out explanation of this soon! i just haven't gotten to it yet.

thank you so much and please take your time, you seem pretty busy!! wishing u a good day! <3
| Invalid Character |

@voidphobia your character is on private, please set it to public (go to character's page, find the privacy settings and put it to public, it's the small "share" icon, the sideways "V")

@Kinarymo ahh so sorry about that!! like i said, i'm new to the platform and had no idea that was a thing u_u; it should be fixed now!

Addox (Add-ucks) Ive been working on Addox and Aloisia for a while. If u have the time id love to see what u think of either of them (the link is to Addox)

This is honestly the most wholesome thread I've read for a while and I adore it.

Dude I know???? Everyone's super nice and considerate haha, you and me both