My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

I’m jealous of people that don’t know you!

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

You, sir, are an oxygen thief!

you smelly doo doo head

You're so clumsy you tripped on the cordless phone

Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street.

Yup ☺️

You would struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

Actually, not mine, but from Doctor Who:
Person Who I Forgot The Name Of: No, I can't go, there's nothing left for me back on Earth.
The (6th) Doctor: That I can believe.

You keep saying you're intelligent. I don't think that word means what you think it means/

Princess Bride!!!!!

Also, how about this?
"I've been thinking-"
"You've been thinking!? Who are you and what have you done to [Insert the person's name here]!?"

No conversations please and
I mean that wasn't really a insult but ok I guess

They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

Erm… the last 34 people I said it to counted it as an insult so…. erm…. I guess whatever you say goes but I dunno.

But It was more like a battle cry
but whatever

'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ. Oh, wait, I looked down and couldn't see your IQ. So I guess I'm just jumping down.

If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.

Shut up, you'll never be the man that your mother is.
(Say this to a woman implies that their mother is masculine, say it to a man implies that the man is not, as it were, manly.)

Talking to you make me want to take a shower

you useless paperclip!