Lame Jokes

I resurrected it

Build a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.
(I know, really dark humor. I will leave now.)

Yo, yo! How much work did the skeleton get done? A skele-TON! I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger…and then it hit me. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was FRAMED! HAH!

Hey, dunno about the rest of you, but I'm a fan of just about all humor. So go on. Don't hit me, CRUSH me with what ya got! Do it! But, uh, no bad ones that are too mean to be a joke, okay? Okay.

This is one of my favorites:

A length of rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says “Get out, we don’t serve ropes in here!”
The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half. He then ties his two sections together. To jazz his appearance up a bit, he takes a comb and combs out his ends.
He then walks back into the bar and the bartender says “Hey, aren’t you that rope I just kicked out?”
And the rope replied “No, I’m a frayed knot.”

*slow clap * that was beautiful

Grave diggers never die…they just get buried in their work.

sighs

i dont know if this one has been said or not, but it is my favorite!!!

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
Because if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan! ba dum tss

That is beautiful

also, heres a funny/bad story.

One time my dad and i were driving down the road and a minivan passed us. All of a sudden i hear dad giggling so i look over at him:
Dad: "did you see the famous artist?"
Me: "huh?"
Dad: "Did you see the famous artist that just went past us?"
Me: " …..?"
Dad: "didnt you see the VAN GO?"

he started crying from laughing so hard

LOL

XD If only my dad did that, his jokes are worse than that!